Tears

This morning when I awoke, my song of praise, though there, was feeble.  I was feeling under the weather physically and mentally, and my tasks for the day seemed overwhelming.  As I came into my study for my morning devotionals, I was praying to God, thanking Him for the miracles performed so far in my life, and pleading for another to move me past the way I was feeling.  The pain in my body and my thoughts combined to bring tears to my eyes as I prayed - not knowing really what I prayed for, but knowing I needed God more than ever. As I sat at my computer to read the Bible from my Bible software, my eyes lit on these words:

"Prayers are instantly noticed in heaven. The moment Saul began to pray the Lord heard him. Here is comfort for the distressed but praying soul. Oftentimes a poor broken-hearted one bends his knee, but can only utter his wailing in the language of sighs and tears; yet that groan has made all the harps of heaven thrill with music; that tear has been caught by God and treasured in the lachrymatory of heaven. "Thou puttest my tears into thy bottle," implies that they are caught as they flow. The suppliant, whose fears prevent his words, will be well understood by the Most High. He may only look up with misty eye; but "prayer is the falling of a tear."

It felt like God was speaking directly to me saying, "I see and understand your tears. I am here, don't be afraid." Yesterday I had been reminded about how the Spirit intercedes for us when we don't know how to pray, and these words were reinforcements. This passage comes from Dr. Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening devotional and refers to Acts 9:11 which reads: "So the Lord said to him, "Arise and go to the street called Straight, and inquire at the house of Judas for one called Saul of Tarsus, for behold, he is praying."  (NKJV, emphasis mine)

Father, I am so grateful for your love and guidance!  How would I survive without you?  Forgive me for the lack of faith I demonstrated as I put myself down for the job I've been doing when I've sought your will and done my best.  I choose to trust you, Father!  "Lord, I believe, help thou mine unbelief."  Father you have promised to continue the work you have begun in me and I know these opportunities were your doing.  Please take away all doubts and fears and leave only trust in you.

Knowing that perfectionism can really get to me and cause me distress when I don't meet the high standards I set for myself, I started looking to see what my concordance brought up on a search for the word "perfect".  I frankly expected something like "only God is perfect", but instead, this is what jumped out at me:

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect." (2 Samuel 22:33 NIV)

What an amazing God!  He knows I'm worried about really messing up publicly this week like I did last week.  It's so hard to go back to the "scene of the crime" and try again.  But I claim this promise today.

Father, thank you so much for this promised strength and perfection!  Please take my worried thoughts from my mind and fully replace them with your love, your power, and your peace. Please keep my mind focused on YOUR perfection.  May I KNOW and REMEMBER that your perfect will is being worked out in my life today - no matter what happens! Thank you, Father, for your blessings this morning, and each day of my life!  I am so grateful, and overwhelmed by your goodness to me.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!