Actions and Motivations

The ideas I was brought to today are not new ones - but we're told (Matthew 13:52) "He said to them, "Therefore every teacher of the law who has become a disciple in the kingdom of heaven is like the owner of a house who brings out of his storeroom new treasures as well as old.""  I guess this is both.  Old treasures showing up in a new way.

Today I was pondering a recent conversation where a friend mentioned the need to seek God's guidance to avoid a tendency to run ahead of Him.  I was reminded of Peter,  who seemed to have the tendency to act rashly and run ahead, so looked at some of those examples.  Here they are in the order in which they were brought to mind:

1) The first example was at Jesus' transfiguration where Peter suggested they could build 3 tabernacles - one for Jesus, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.  It's always struck me as a bit of an odd thing for him to have said, and yet each of the three records of this story (Matthew 17:1-9, Mark 9:2-9, Luke 9:28-36) contains a record of his suggestion.  As I read Matthew's account, I find just the bare facts - no hint of reasons for them.  Luke says that the disciples had fallen asleep and hints that perhaps Peter was half asleep and didn't know what he was saying.  Mark says that Peter says this because he didn't know what to say because they were all terrified.  This suggests to me that perhaps Peter's natural response to fear was to "do something - anything!".  A couple more stories come to mind in support of this idea.

2) The second one is when Jesus walked on the water (Matthew 14:22-34, Mark 6:45-53, John 6:16-21).  Mark & John's accounts don't mention Peter at all.  But Matthew describes not only how the frightened disciples are comforted by Jesus saying "It is I. Be not afraid", but goes on to tell us of Peter.  Peter says "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water."  We know the rest of the story - Jesus says "Come" and Peter starts to walk towards Him on the water - until he sees the wind and becomes afraid and starts to sink and has to call out for Jesus to save him.  Once again we see Peter experiencing fear and wanting to DO something. 

3) The third story is the one in the garden of Gethsemane when the mob has come to get Jesus and Peter draws his sword & cuts off someone's ear.  (Matthew 26:51-52,  Mark 14:47, Luke 22:49-51, John 18:10-11 - note that only John's account actually identifies it as Peter who cut off the ear). On this occasion we once again see Peter and the rest of the disciples being afraid - and once again Peter wants to "DO" something.

As I considered these stories, a couple of things stood out to me.  First was the fact that fear seemed often to be a motivating factor for impulsive actions.  I've noticed in my own life that when an action is motivated by fear, it is often not a good choice.  I also find that fear keeps me stuck and unable to make wise choices.  In 1 John 4:18 we are told that "perfect love casts out fear".  2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that God "did not give us a spirit of fear" (so where do you suppose that spirit came from?), and a repeated theme in the Bible is "Fear Not" (one example of this is Isaiah 41:10).   I love Psalms 34:4 - "I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears."  What a promise for these days with the covid-19 pandemic surrounding us!  Over the years I have learned to ask God to remove the fear in me whenever I notice it.  And particularly, when I seek to do His will, one of the first things I want to do is to ask God to remove any fear. 

The second thing that caught my attention in these stories about Peter, was about specifically asking for guidance.  I'm not sure if Peter really did this when he suggested building the tabernacles, but Matthew's account says he told Jesus "If you wish" so there's at least a little hint of a desire to do so.  There's no indication that Jesus answered him - and certainly they didn't stay to build tabernacles!  In the story of Jesus walking on the water, Peter DID ask.  It's also clear that he asked in part because he wasn't sure if it really was Jesus speaking to them about not being afraid.  In this case Jesus told him to go ahead and come to him (note that this didn't prevent his falling flat on his face as he noticed the wind!).  In the garden, Peter didn't ask at all - and ended up being reprimanded for his actions.  So for me, the take away here is that I want to make sure I ASK before taking an action I am considering - especially if I'm not clear on the source of the idea!  Based on these stories, I certainly don't want to move forward unless I sure that God is telling me to do so (though that may not keep me from falling flat on my face if I don't keep my eyes on Him!).

Father, as I continue to seek your guidance in my life, I once again ask that you remove all vestiges of fear from me, and that you make clear to me what your will is in each situation I face today.  I want to do Your will, Father!  I don't want to run ahead of you or step off the path you have for me.  Father, may I hear your voice clearly as we walk together today!  Please be my strength and my shield as you show me the way in which I should walk. 

God's Armor

This page was probably a month in preparation and finally took form on Sept 23rd.  It first began to take form in my mind as I thought about a story in a book I came across.  It was a story titled "Master Potter" by Jill Austin.  I'll admit I haven't finished reading the book, so don't really know much about it, but the beginning chapters brought to life the idea that when we feel discouraged, depressed, fearful, etc. it is not really coming from within us.  We are under spiritual attack!  What a concept!  This idea REALLY resonated with me.  After all, we've been told that our struggles are not against flesh and blood (Eph 6:12).  It also helps me understand Paul better when he speaks of it not being himself, but sin within himself that is doing that which he doesn't want to do (Romans 7:15-25).

I found myself pondering the idea for several days.  As I did so, the idea of the armor of God as presented in Ephesians chapter 6 began to really come into focus for me in a way I had never understood it before.  As I pondered the idea that any negative thought might be a "fiery arrow" from the enemy that needed to be extinguished by the shield of faith, I began to see many things in a different light.  No wonder we're to guard our thoughts!  How many times have I taken negative thoughts into my being, dwelt on them, and allowed them to wreck havoc in my life?  How much better to allow God's shield to protect me!

I spent some time pondering what those "flaming arrows" might be in my life.  As you can see in the picture above, some that God spoke to me about include:

• Condemnation - We are told that there is NO CONDEMNATION (Rom 8:1), but yet, I am so quick to condemn myself!  That is one of those flaming arrows that I need to be protected against.
• Discouragement -  This is a big one for me.  I too often hear a voice in my head saying words like, "It's too much!  You can't do it!"  This is NOT the truth.  With God, all things are possible! (Matt 19:26).  Discouragement is another of those flaming arrows which must be extinguished.
• Selfishness - Oh, how easy it is to focus on myself and my needs to the exclusion of those around me!  This is another of those fiery arrows!
• Pride - We think of the phrase, "Pride goeth before a fall", but the Bible puts it even stronger than that - "Pride goes before destruction . . . " (Proverbs 16:18).  And yet, it's quite easy for me to see that when I am concerned about what others think of me, I'm much more likely to move out of alignment with God's will and into situations that will bring pain.
• Discontent - The old testament has a lot to say about the Israelites and how discontented they were in the wilderness and how they murmured against God.  And yet how different am I?  How quick to complain when things don't go the way I think they should?  We're told to "Rejoice in the Lord always" (Phil 4:4).  We can't rejoice and be complaining at the same time!
• Fear - This is another biggie for me.  Too often when I'm asked to do something that takes me the least bit out of my comfort zone, I move into fear.  God reminds me, "I have not given you a spirit of fear . . . " (2 Tim 1:7)  When I feel fear, it is not GOD'S spirit at play in my life!
• Depression - I praise God that he extinguished this flaming arrow for me years ago when I was feeling suicidal.  That's not to say that this arrow isn't still flung my way from time to time, but I'm more likely to recognize it as the enemy that it is.  I can't be depressed and "Rejoice in the Lord always" as I've been instructed!
• Appetite - This is an arrow that got through my defenses at a time when I didn't realize what it was and that God's armor could protect me from it.  Now, God needs to surgically remove it from my being so my appetite no longer controls me and no longer encourages me to eat those things which will destroy me! Thank you, Father, that you are healing me!!!!
• Judgement - This arrow is not the gift of discernment God promises, but is instead that insidious voice that finds fault with everything and everyone - especially myself!  Related to the arrow of condemnation, I am again reminded tha there is NO CONDEMNATION (Rom 8:1)  I want no part of these arrows from the "accuser" and look forward to the time when he is cast down (Rev 12:10).
• Distrust - This can take the form of not trusting God to handle things in my life, or of not trusting myself to hear His voice clearly.  Either way, if that flaming arrow hits it's mark, my life is much more painful!

Those are undoubtedly just a few of the many flaming arrows the accuser throws at us, but it's enough for me to much better understand the importance of clothing myself in the FULL ARMOR OF GOD so I am protected!

So what is that full armor, and how do I clothe myself in it????  Here's the passage about God's armor as translated in the New International Version:

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." - Eph 6:10-17 (NIV)

I want to be sure I have taken up EACH piece of the armor!  There are 6 specific things that are mentioned:

1. Belt of Truth - surrounding the very core of our being needs to be the truth.  I see this belt of truth applying in a couple of different ways.  First, I have to tell the truth - especially to myself! Father, what truths about me do I need to face and be honest about?  What do I need to confess to you and allow you to cleanse? We are promised that the truth will set us free (John 8:32).  A second application of this belt of truth that I see is that when the truth of God is held in the very core of our being, we can not be moved.  "I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved." (Psalms 16:8)  What truths of God are we talking about?  I'm sure there are many, but for me one of these core truths is "God IS love". (1 John 4:8)  When I really understand God's love for me in the core of my being it changes me and enables me to stand and face things I never thought I could!
2. Breastplace of Righteousness - We are told that our righteousness is as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6), so clearly we need God's garment here!  I tend to have difficulty with the word "righteousness".  It is one of those words that is not a part of secular vocabulary and which tends to be relegated to "church speak".  What does it really mean?  Once again, I'm sure there are many things it covers, but as I sat asking God this question and thinking about the breast plate as guarding our hearts, what came to me was that this is about doing what we know to be right: walking the talk and living ethically.  If I know "in my heart" that I have behaved in ways that are not in alignment with God's will, I am vulnerable and those flaming arrows can find their mark much more easily. 
3. Shoes of Peace - I think of Romans 12:18 - resolving to "live peaceably with all men" as much as it is within our power.  If we go about with a "chip on our shoulder" (or perhaps it is more like a heel spur???) we are predisposed to take what others say in a negative way.  When we actively put on shoes of peace, setting our intention to walk in peace with all, this too gives us protection from those fiery arrows.
4. Shield of Faith - This is what quenches the fiery arrows, so is a very important part of our armor!!!  I am so grateful for passages that remind me that even if my faith seems very small, it is big enough to move mountains (Matthew 17:20, Luke 17:6). More than that, it is not something I must manufacture on my own - it is a gift from God! (Ephesians 2:8).  Can you picture this magnificent shield? A beautiful shield of protection given to us by our Father. Thank you, God!
5. Helmet of Salvation - What does this symbolize?  As I pondered this question, the first thing that came to me is that this is the piece of armor that protects my MIND.  As I continued my musings, I realized that YES!  When I know I am saved, my mind is protect from doubts and fears that otherwise could quite literally kill me!  When I truly trust in God's promised gift of salvation, I am not vulnerable to attacks based on the weaknesses of my flesh - because I know that by faith I am saved - not by works! (Ephesians 2:8).
6. Sword of Spirit, the Word of God - While certainly the "word of God" can refer to scripture, to me, this is even more than that.  It is that still small voice behind me saying "This is the way, walk ye in it" (Isaiah 30:21).  When I have taken the time to check in with God for guidance and direction in my life, I am much better able to meet the enemy with strength and power.  God reminds me, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control]. (2 Timothy 1:7 Amplified Version)

 One more thing stood out to me as I pondered this passage from Ephesians 6.  Yes, we're told to take up the full armor of God - and that's important.  But there's something that is emphasized repeatedly and I've come to recognize repetition as one of the ways I'm told to PAY ATTENTION - THIS IS IMPORTANT!.  I'm quoting here from Ephesians 6 in the American Standard Version - bold emphasis mine:

    Verse11 - "that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil."

    Verse 13 - "and having done everything, to stand firm".

    Verse 14 - "stand firm therefore"

When I completed this page, I knew those words - "STAND FIRM" were important, but I also knew I was missing something.  What did they mean???  In what way was I supposed to STAND FIRM?

This morning, I finally got "the rest of the story".  It came from a story in 2 Chronicles chapter 20 as God's spirit came upon Jahaziel to prepare the Israelites for battle.

"You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.’ Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the Lord will be with you.” 2 Chronicles 20:17  ESV

There are those words again - STAND FIRM.  I'm being told: "Cheryl, the battle is not yours, but mine!  There is nothing for you to do but to wear the armor you've been given and stand where I tell you to stand.  Then you can watch me vanquish the enemy on your behalf!"

Thank you, Father!!!  You are so good to me!  I am so grateful for your guidance and protection!  Thank you for extinguishing those fiery arrows that I saw so clearly the other day!  You know how vulnerable I felt and how close they came!  "I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness . . . " (Isaiah 61:10)  Thank you, Father!

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To see how I made this Bible Journaling page, please see my paper crafting blog - here.

Fearless!!!!

It seems like forever since I posted on this blog.  I tend to not think about posting when I don't have to have a picture to go with the message!!!! Anyway, today I DO have a picture, though it's mostly words and those may be a bit challenging to actually see in this photo.  But here's the story behind the picture. 

The focus for this page is 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear because fear involves torment." (NKJV) This is something God's been bringing to my attention.  Though I hadn't really realized it until recently, I've had a tendency to live with a low (medium???!) level of anxiety as my natural state - and that is NOT His plan for me!!! He wants to give me freedom from even that low level of fear that has been tormenting me!!! 

I am so grateful that His choice for me is a life of freedom from tormenting fear - a life of love, joy, and peace!!!  But He's been showing me that I haven't been accepting the whole of that gift from him.  As he relieves major fears, I have been content to settle back into my "natural" state of low-level anxiety instead of letting Him remove it ALL!!!!  

One of the things that has helped me visualize this is work that I've been doing, with the help of a specialist, to relieve pain in my physical body.  She explained to me that due to stress in our lives (physical trauma, emotional tension, etc), we tend to live with a constant level of stress.  She drew a line and numbered it 0 at one end and 100 at the other.  She said this is a picture of our muscles - they can be firing at 100%, or they can be completely relaxed at 0% or somewhere in between.  Then she said that often, our brain has become so used to our carrying a certain amount of stress, that it comes to believe that 20% firing of a muscle is as much as it is possible to relax.  Part of my work with her is to re-train my brain to realize that it can actually relax the muscle farther than that!

For me this has been a great visual for my relationship with nervousness and anxiety (other words for fear!).  I have become so used to living with a certain amount of nervousness or anxiety that I've seen that as normal.  But God offers to remove ALL of it and replace it with His Spirit!

2 Timothy 1:7 reminds me, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."  (ISV) 

Suddenly I find myself understanding the story of Mary & Martha (as told in Luke 10:39-42) much better.  I'll admit that I've struggled with this story.  I can REALLY relate to Martha who is trying to get food on the table while everyone else is relaxing and enjoying their time with Jesus. She's feeling a bit resentful that her sister isn't helping her and speaks to Jesus about it.  But Jesus gently tells her, "Martha, Martha!  You worry and fuss about a lot of things.  But there is only one thing you need.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it is not to be taken away from her." (ISV - emphasis mine).  Other versions use words like: anxious, bothered, troubled, distracted, upset.  THIS is the real issue here.  It's not about making dinner - it's about allowing anxiety to distract us and drain our energy so we aren't able to move forward with 100% focus on anything.  THIS is what God is speaking to me about. 

He's promised that His perfect love casts out fear - ALL of it, if I will let it!!! Thank you, Father!!! What a wonderful promise!  I choose this.  Please cast out ALL fear and replace it with your spirit of POWER, LOVE, and SELF-DISCIPLINE.  I don't know how to do this for myself, but I know I don't have to know how.  You are doing it FOR me.  I just have to allow you FULL access to change my life!  Father, I am so looking forward to experiencing life from this new perspective.  To face new challenges and opportunities with excitement and joy instead of nervous trepidation.  What a concept!  Thank you, Father, for doing this work in me and for your promise that the work you've begun in me you will see to completion.  You've got your work cut out for you, but I know YOU can do it!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!     

Social Etiquette & Food Choices

For some time I've struggled with food issues.  One of my challenges is that I've found that it can be challenging for me to make healthy food choices on an ongoing basis if I, even occasionally, eat foods that I've found to be less than helpful for my body system.  And yet, what to do when I'm in a social setting?  Eating out with friends?  Or even being a guest in someone's home?  

In a social setting, I hate to say anything about special dietary issues because I hate to make extra trouble for my hosts or make them feel I don't appreciate what they've done in preparing a meal.  I also don't want to be excluded from social events because people don't want to deal with my food sensitivities - especially since many people would see my diet as quite restrictive and wouldn't have a clue how to handle it!  After all, relationships are more important than food!

It's been an on-going challenge - one I've faced mostly internally.  I kept remembering the story in Acts chapter 10 about Peter's vision about the unclean meat.  He was told, "Do not call anything impure that God has made clean."  While I knew that for Peter, this vision was actually talking about the "unclean" gentiles, I also felt this story indicated that with prayer, I should be able to eat anything and not have it adversely affect me - especially when coupled with Luke 10:10 - "I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you." (NIV)

Recently, however, I was brought to a different story.  One I've heard since I was a child, but didn't absorb the full significance.  That is the story told in Daniel 1:8-16.  I've always seen this story as a lesson that a plant-based diet can be superior to one that is based in rich "delicacies", but I completely ignored the fact that Daniel ASKED that he and his friends be given a different meal than the other people were being given!  Now, this was an on-going situation and not a one-time thing, but it really struck me.  Daniel asked to be fed differently.  This realization has helped me both to feel better about choosing to eat differently than the "norm", and to feel less uncomfortable about saying something about it.  I still want to pray about each situation, but am more open to a wider range of responses.  Thank you, Father!

I was faced with a related dilemma again this weekend.  My husband's aunt is in an assisted living situation.  The facility had a special "Valentine's" meal where the residents were encouraged to invite family to join them for lunch.  So, this aunt asked my husband and me to join her.  It turned out to be quite challenging food-wise. The main food that I could eat was the appetizer salad.  Our aunt noticed I wasn't eating much and questioned me about it. I knew that she knew my dietary choices and would understand that the food in front of me did not meet those criteria, so what should I say?  I knew she wasn't particularly happy with the meal either, but she really had little choice.  She lived there!  I didn't want to make her feel any worse about things.  But the fact remained.  I REALLY couldn't eat much of what was in front of me!  

It was a lesson I continue to ponder and pray about. I want to understand all that God had for me to learn in that situation.  One of the questions I'm sitting with after my experience yesterday is, "what I can do to help improve our aunt's experience."  My heart hurts for her.  She's faced many changes that she didn't WANT, and is in a situation that isn't ideal.

Father, what is your will concerning her?  What is my part to play?

Father, this day I once again seek your guidance in my life.  May each thought, word, and action be in accordance with your will!  May I not only gain increased clarity on HOW best to eat, but also WHEN and WHAT to say about it to others, and WHEN I need to just eat what is put before me, trusting you to protect me.  Father, I know this lesson goes beyond physical food. 

I think of a couple passages in 1 Corinthians: 

• "All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any."  1 Cor 6:12

• "All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not." 1 Cor 10:23

It's clear to me that I need to make sure my focus is on what is BEST, not what I can get away with!  While it may be true that I can get away with eating certain things - whether we're talking about physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual - that doesn't necessarily mean it's best.  God wants the BEST for me.  Shouldn't I support Him in that endeavor?  Likewise, I know God wants the very best for our aunt, and I want to support Him in that endeavor as well.

Father, may I be willing to learn from you about what is BEST for me.  May I be open to whatever changes may be necessary in the physical, emotion, mental, and spiritual parts of my being.  Thank you for wanting the very best for me.  May I cooperate with you on that.  And may I also recognize how I can facilitate that for others and be willing to follow through with the tasks you place before me.  Thank you, Father!

A Spirit of Fear?

Yesterday was our first day back from a vacation focused on much needed rest and relaxation.  Since it was Sunday, I continued my rest and relaxation to a large extent, but this morning as I awakened, I had my mind on the many things that needed to get done - things to do to take care of my spiritual health, things to do to take care of my physical health, things to do to take care of my home, things to do to perform the work-related tasks that were before me. . . .  As I contemplated the many things I could do with my time, I recognized a bit of anxiety welling in me.  So many things - so little time.  What was the best use of my time?  Where should I focus my energy?

As I lay awake talking to God about my to-do list, and visualizing the various tasks, I heard that still small voice whispering to me.  "Cheryl, you are worried about many things. (Luke 10:41) I came that you might enjoy life and live abundantly. (John 10:10)  In fact, the JOY of the Lord is your strength! (Nehemiah 8:10) It saddens me to see you so worried about what you should do.  I've told you 'whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might as joyful service to me!' (Eccl 9:10, Col 3:23) And  I've encouraged you to ask for wisdom, spoken of the perils of being double-minded, and explained the importance of living your life with "no wavering." (James 1:5-8)  No matter what you would choose to do in your current mind-set, you would be anxious!  But I want you to live a life of joy! (Phil 4:4)"

I was immediately convicted.  I knew He was right.  I had been allowing the spirit of worry to live through me no matter what decision I made about what I would do.  But that wasn't the spirit I wanted within me!  I want God's spirit of love and trust and joy within me - ALWAYS.  Father, forgive me!  Thank you for showing me what I was doing! Please cast out that spirit of worry and replace it with your perfect love, peace, and trust in you.  Thank you, Father.

The picture that came to mind immediately after that realization and repentance was of the disciples in the boat on the lake - terrified of the waves that were being whipped up by the gale-force winds, while Jesus slept in the back of the boat. (Matthew 8:23-27, Mark 4:35-41, Luke 8:22-25) The picture was more compelling for me because we recently spent time on a lake in a kayak, dealing with waves that were by no means whipped by a gale, but were frightening enough for me since I haven't spent a lot of time in a kayak and hadn't expected to see any waves on the lake at all.

This story of the disciples facing the waves is FOR ME!  And Jesus' words are also for me.  To that anxious voice in my mind, Jesus says, "Peace, be still" and then asks me "Why are you so timid?  How is it that you have no faith?"  As I feel the calm settle over my soul and as I remember the truth that God is in charge and is working ALL THINGS for my good (Rom 8:28), I am SO grateful!  Grateful for the reminder, grateful for the truth, grateful for the peace and joy that comes with remembering the truth.

Thank you, Father!  I am so grateful that you are in charge of my life and that I can trust you.  Father, please banish these pesky anxieties from my life.  Instead, I choose to trust in your gift of faith and to trust you to give me the direction I need.  Thank you that you are the loving God that you are!  I'm so grateful to know that you want me to ENJOY life!  How much better it is to trust you and perform the tasks you set before me with joy and praise instead of with worry!  Indeed you have not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind! (2Tim 1:7) Thank you, Father!!!

Increased Stature

1 Samuel 2:26 says:

"Now the boy Samuel continued to grow both in stature and in favor with the Lord and with the people." (NRSV)

This verse really caught my eye because of its similarity to Luke 2:52:

"And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature, and in favor with God and with people." (NET)

Most of us want to be in favor with God and with people. There are two ways to increase in stature - the literal physical way, and the more figurative way of increasing in visibility and power.  Most of us are finished with the physical increase in stature.  So far as the figurative way is concerned, some of us want to increase in stature and some of us don't.  I'm one of those who isn't so interested in increased stature, preferring to quietly go about my work behind the scenes.  But that's not the way God is leading in my life right now.  Just as a child has no control over his growth in stature, if I continue to do as God directs, it doesn't look like I'll be able to avoid such growth either.  What I DO have some say in is growth in favor with God and people.  Proverbs 3:3-4 says:

"Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute In the sight of God and man." (NASB)

This is my prescription - focus on kindness and truth if I want to grow in favor with God and people.  Each of these can indirectly be a challenge for me, though I care deeply about the people around me and try my best to always be factual in my dealings.  

For example, I choose to focus on kindness, but I can have "tunnel vision" at times.  I can be so focused on my current task, that I don't pay attention to the people around me who need kindness from me.  Obviously such behavior can detract from finding favor with people! 

The other piece of this - truth - is an interesting concept.  What is truth?  Jesus said that He is "the way, the truth, and the life"  (John 14:6 - NASB)  The challenge for me with truth is that I can get so caught up in human perception of things that I miss the truth of God's power and grace that can improve any situation.  THAT is the truth - not the appearances all around me!

Father, thank you for your truth!  Truly in "Your presence is fullness of joy"! (Ps 21:6, NASB)  I am so grateful, Father!  You always have my best interests at heart.  Life goes so much better with you in it!  Father, I ask this day that kindness and truth be a continual focus in my life and that I am able to continually be aware of the needs of your children when you want me to be interacting with them in a kind and loving way!  May I always remember the truth of your power and goodness rather than believing in appearances, Father.  I love you!

Healed & Happy

I've spent the last several days pondering the story of Hannah. Clearly she had a caring husband, who noticed how sad she was and that she wasn't eating.  He tried to cheer her up, but no amount of attention on his part could have taken away the pain she was facing. To want a child so badly, watch a rival have child after child, and then be harassed about not being able to conceive would have been so hard.  And then to make matters worse, as she was praying to God with all the pain and longing of her heart, the priest accused her of being drunk!  

One of the things that stood out to me was that when her prayer ended and she was done talking to Eli, she went her way and "ate and her face was no longer sad". (1 Sam 1:18 NASV).  It reminded me of Psalms 40:4 that says "Happy is the person who trusts in the Lord" (NCV).  When we truly believe our prayers have been answered, our behavior will change - even before any outward sign of the miracle has shown up.

And yet, God whispers to me that this is not an act.  This is not us simply saying, okay God, I'm going to trust you and "act as if".  Sometimes when we do that, we're actually in the state described in 2 Tim 3:5 - "Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof" (KJV).  I find myself comparing Hannah's story with a couple of others:

• Jacob wrestling with God and saying, “I won’t let you go, unless you bless me.”  
• Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane saying, "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me" and later "O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done."

The picture I see here, is one of praying until we CLEARLY receive an answer.  This isn't just a quick prayer and an "okay I'll trust you, God".  This is praying until we KNOW the answer is on its way (whether it's what we wanted or not!) and we can face the situation, filled with God's power.  Jesus spent hours praying about the situation He was facing.  How can we think we can get away with less?  

Father, I want this experience with the challenge I am facing right now.  I want to pray until I KNOW healing has occurred!  But I really don't know how to do that.  Once I've discussed the situation with you, what more is there to say?  I know you love me and want this healing for me.  What is it that takes it from "want" to "happening now"?  What is it that must occur so that you can fill me with your power?  

In the past, I've struggled with the concept of persevering in prayer.  I know even Jesus taught that it was something we needed to do in the parable about the widow and the judge:

"And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; Saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man: And there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary. And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man;Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me. And the Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge saith. And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth? (Luke 18:1-8, KJV)

I've found this concept hard to understand.  If we keep badgering God about something, isn't that the same as not trusting Him? But the picture that is emerging is about praying about something until we receive an answer and a sense of peace about the situation.  As long as we are struggling within ourselves about the situation, we are NOT there yet!  We need to "badger" God until we are!  

I think of a story I've read recently about a woman who was quite ill for YEARS. She sought God about it all that time, and only after many years did she experience full healing.  I suspect the story of Hannah represents something similar.  Though the story here in first Samuel doesn't specify, I suspect that this was not the first time Hannah was distressed about her barrenness and prayed about it.  Clearly part of the answer is that the time was not right until this point.  So I'm once again back to the question.  Don't we need to trust God that He will bring about the healing when the time is right?  How does that jibe with continuing to badger Him about something? 

Father, I really want to understand this.  I KNOW it is an important piece for experiencing your power more fully in my life. Father, how do I get there?  It's like I can see the destination, but there is some sort of invisible wall preventing me from reaching it.  What needs to change, Father?  I want the healing and I know you want me to have it.  What needs to change?

As I write these words, I hear my Father's still small voice in my heart saying, "Really?  Do you REALLY want the healing?"  And I realize that is the issue.  I am still wavering about it.  James 1:6 says "But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering." But I realize I am indeed wavering.  I want the healing, but I don't want to make changes I know I need to make for it to occur.  I want the healing, but I'm afraid of changes in how people will relate to me when it occurs.  I'm of two minds about it.  I want healing now - but I'm not sure I do!  I'm in the exact boat that James was talking about, and of course I can't receive healing when I'm not even sure I want it!  Is this then the reason for continued prayer about something - for "badgering" God?  Is it that we need to continue to pray about a situation until all parts of ourselves line up in agreement about it?  In Matthew 18:19, Jesus promised that if two of us agree about anything we ask God for, it will be done.  But here I am, and I can't even get the one of me to agree! :)

Father, I DO want this healing!  I've tasted bits and pieces of it here and there, but I want the whole thing!  I want to be COMPLETELY healed - including a healing within about the way I think about it.  I want to be TOTALLY willing to make any change necessary, and I want to eagerly embrace your healing, regardless of what others around me might think, say, or do.  Father, I ask for willingness to change, for a clear understanding of the changes that must occur, and for the power to make those changes.  And I ask for your love to fill me and cast out any fear that I have associated with thoughts of healing.  And I intend to continue to ask for these things until all parts of me that are not in agreement have been brought to light and healed so that the full healing I seek can occur.  Thank you, Father, for your continued work in my life and for the promise that the work you have begun in me will be seen to completion!  I love you, Father!

My Shepherd

I really like the way this page turned out, and it has a great deal of meaning for me. (For more details about HOW the page was done, check my papercrafting blog here.)  Psalms 23 is one of the better known passages in the Bible, and a promise to which many people have clung - especially in challenging times.  And it DOES contain some wonderful promises.  There's also some real food for thought here.  

Though I've memorized this passage and contemplated it many times, there are several things that jumped out at me this time that I haven't considered in the same way before. The Psalm starts, "The Lord is My Shepherd".  I've often thought of this in the context of Jesus' story in Matthew & Luke about the shepherd with 99 sheep who is missing one (Matthew 18:10-14, Luke 15:3-7).  This time, a couple of other verses came to mind.  First was a verse in Isaiah:

"All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to his own way;"  Isaiah 53:6 (KJV).

Just in case I didn't get the message about who's got the power (see this post), this verse makes it pretty clear to me.  When sheep go astray, as in the parable of the 99, only the shepherd can find the missing sheep and bring them back.  It's very unlikely the sheep will find its own way back!  Father, thank you for searching for me and bringing me back when I've gone astray!  May I rely on the power of Your Spirit within me.

Then another verse comes to mind - 

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." John 10:27 (KJV)

If sheep listen to the shepherd's voice and follow him instead of getting side-tracked by whatever they're doing in the moment, they won't go astray in the first place!  Father, may I always HEAR your voice and FOLLOW!

This brings me to the part of Psalm 23 that I have been pondering the most:

"Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4 (KJV)

Comfort from the rod & staff?  When I hear the word "rod" I tend to think of the saying, "Spare the rod and spoil the child".  I don't like the idea of being hit by my Father.  I really can't say that idea is very "comforting".  Frankly, it's also not the way I've experienced God working with me, either.  My experience with Him is of much more gentle correction and guidance.  "Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me."  Really, Father?  How can that be?  The Amplified Bible puts it this way:

"Your rod [to protect] and your staff [to guide] they comfort and console me." Psalm 23:4 (AMP)

The rod is for protection?!  Oh, Father, of course you protect me.  How sad that my first thought is of being hit myself, when you use that rod to protect me!  When I look up the original words in Strong's concordance, I see that the word translated "rod" simply means a stick (used in many contexts), while the word "staff" comes from a word meaning "to support".   After reading about shepherds and sheep from a variety of sources, I feel I understand this better.  While the rod can indeed be used to administer discipline to a stubborn sheep, it also is used to protect them from danger - snakes, wolves, etc.  And clearly the amount of force used, and exactly how the rod is used, varies depending on the goal - discipline or protection.  The staff is used to give the shepherd something to lean on, but also to reach out and grasp a sheep to protect them from harm or to rescue them when they've gotten themselves into difficulty.  

I think of children.  Those who have studied child-rearing know that children need discipline.  They need to know that their parents care enough about them to protect them - even from themselves if need be.  Such discipline makes them feel safe!  Obviously that is different from abusive beatings that make a child afraid of a parent.  Most of the time gentle guidance, or a determined word is all that is needed to correct a child.  Occasionally more is needed.  I can trust my Heavenly Father to know EXACTLY what I need and to guide me in the best way possible.  I can also trust Him to ensure that I am protected - even from myself and my own stubbornness if necessary!  And if I get myself into difficulty, even if it was because of going my own way, He will seek me out and rescue me from my difficulty!  What an amazing God and Father.  So many people say things like "You've made your bed, now you have to lie in it".  But that's not the way my Father treats me. While He doesn't save me from all the consequences of poor choices, He assures me that NOTHING can take me out of His hand (John 10:28-30), and He is willing to rescue me even if I'm the one responsible for getting myself into difficulty in the first place!

Father, I am so grateful!  You are such a loving Father!  As I think about it more, I realize that your rod and your staff definitely comfort me!  I can trust you to protect me, even from myself - administering guidance and discipline as needed to keep me safe and close to you, My Shepherd.  Thank you, Father!  No wonder you tell me not to be anxious about anything.  You are in charge and taking care of me.  Some hired shepherds might be lazy, but You are not.  You don't slumber or sleep and nothing gets past you.  You know everything and work all things for my good.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  Father I WANT your gentle guidance - and your discipline when I need it.  And I'm so grateful that you care enough to guide and protect me, even if I get stubborn.  Knowing you do so does indeed comfort me!  And thank you for guiding my hand as I drew the shepherd and sheep.  They came so easily that I KNOW it was the miracle of Your guiding my hand!  And thank you for bringing the transfer technique to mind.  It's been a LONG time since I used it!  This time spent with you is so wonderful!  I love you, Father!

ALL Things - even the small ones!

Yesterday I wrote a bit about my birthday text.  Today I did some more work on that same page, adding more concepts that I find relate to my special text.  Here is what the whole page looks like at this point:

As you can see, my focus today was on the GOOD in ALL things and GIVING THANKS in every situation.  Sometimes we tend to think God only speaks to us for the big decisions in our lives, but I've come to understand that he cares even about the minutia.  He says even the hairs on our heads are numbered! (Matthew 10:30, Luke 12:7)  I don't know about you, but I don't even care enough to count all the hairs on my head - it seems way too unimportant to bother with!  But that is just one example of how much God cares about us.  Nothing about us is too unimportant to Him!  And today He showed me that once again.

I had ordered a Bible that looked like it would be really nice for this sort of journaling, but it will take several weeks for me to get it and I was eager to get started with this new way of interacting with God.  So, I went through all my Bibles, looking for one that had a wide enough margin for this work - and I found a New American Standard "International Inductive Study Bible" that I've had for years.  That's the one I'm currently using, and I'm finding it works really well EXCEPT that I'd really like an attached ribbon marker to keep my place!  (This actually is something folks have mentioned is missing on the Bible I ordered as well.)  

Today as my husband and I were sharing devotional time, I happened to notice the ribbon marker in his Bible, and realized how easy it would be to add to mine.  So after we were finished, I immediately came to my office/craft room and started working on the project.  I decided while I was at it I might as well add several more ribbon markers while I was at it!

I found some lovely metallic ribbons and measured each one the length I wanted it - adding a couple of inches to allow for it to hang down into the spine of the Bible.  For each one I cut a pointed end at what would be the visible end, and just cut it straight across for the end that would be hidden in the spine.  I then used "Fray Check" (small bottle of liquid available at your fabric store) on the ends of each ribbon to help keep them from unraveling.  Next I held the ribbon out to see where it should connect to the spine & marked that spot.  I used my ATG with it's double-sided adhesive to add adhesive from the marked spot to the end of the ribbon (the part that would hang down inside the spine).  I then carefully opened the bible and pulled out the backing from the spine as much as possible so I could lower the adhesive backed end in next to the spine.  One at a time, when I got each were I wanted it, I closed the Bible and pressed against the spine to adhere the tape to the inside spine.  When all were in place, I took a needle with gold thread and carefully sewed the ribbons tightly to the spine at the top.  That's all it took!  Pretty quick and easy and ready to use.  Here are some pictures:

 Ribbons as sewn - before pulling into the Bible as bookmarks.

 Ribbons hanging out the end as they form the bookmarks.

Father, thank you that you care so much about me that even the little things matter!  I know I can only BEGIN to comprehend your love for me, but what I DO understand amazes me.  I am so grateful!  Thank you for being such a source of joy and inspiration.  And most of all, thank you for your amazing love!  I love you, Father.

Pentecost

For the last couple of weeks we've been facing a work-related challenge that may spell the end of our work in a particular setting.  Changes in policy may create a situation where the income may no longer be there to cover our expenses.  In addition, there is increasing dissension that is making the situation uncomfortable. It has been a painful thing to face the notion that some folks would rather we weren't doing what we've been doing as they see it as taking away from their income. And yet there are others that have made it clear they REALLY appreciate our work.  While receiving these mixed messages and feeling our own feelings about things, we've been actively seeking guidance from God.  How are we to proceed?  

One Bible passage has come to mind over and over again - "the labourer is worthy of his hire", along with the accompanying thought that if our expenses are not going to be met, it may be time to move on.  In looking up this passage, a couple of more instructions jump out at me.  Verses 5-7 suggest we should be seeking to stay only where there is a spirit of peace, and verses 10-12 seem to indicate that if there is a lack of acceptance, it may be time to move on, making sure we do not take any remnants of that situation with us.  Of course, things are often not quite so clear cut and as I've said, the messages we've been getting are mixed.  Yet, the very fact that they are mixed undercuts the "peace" that might be there.  

Another thought has been coming over and over - a reminder of something I wrote about on this blog back on December 18. As indicated there, I had thought (looking through human eyes) that we might need to discontinue our classes in the spring.  At the time I wrote about it in mid-December, it felt like I was receiving guidance that suggested our classes might instead be intended to last until early June.  At the time, I noted the guidance, but didn't understand it because to human eyes it looked like if we made it through spring we'd be good to go for some time.  Nevertheless, I "held these things in my heart", waiting to see what would unfold.  

Today as I remind myself that God is in charge, I watch what is unfolding with interest. I find myself wondering if indeed things will transpire to keep us only "until Pentecost" as it seemed was being hinted at back in December. 

Another thought keeps coming to me as well.  I find myself pondering that instruction in Luke 10:7 about "not moving from house to house".  What does this mean for us?  When I ask that question, it seems what we may be being directed to do is to settle in one place to do our work - a place that is peaceful and accepts us.  I've wondered whether we should be trying to generate and accept all sorts of other engagements to try to make ends meet where we are, but I find myself wondering if this message is instead guidance telling us that we are to move on to a situation that will meet the expenses while giving us a more solid base of operations.  

Father, we seek your guidance and direction and are grateful for it.  Are there doors on which we need to knock and say "peace on this house" to test whether it is the place for us?  Is the time soon upon us when we should be "shaking the dust from our feet" with regard to this one specific situation?  We seek your guidance, Father.  We thank you for the guidance received thus far and the knowledge that you will continue the work you have begun in us.  Thank you for removing the worry from our minds, and filling us with gratitude as we remember the way you have led thus far.  Thank you, Father!

What Others Think

Today I found myself once again reading in the journal of John Wesley.  It is such an interesting look at life back then, and I am greatly inspired by seeing the way he lived his life.  Today, this passage caught my eye:

"Soon after, a gentleman of Merton College, who was one of our little company, which now consisted of five persons, acquainted us that he had been much rallied the day before for being a member of the Holy Club; and that it was become a common topic of mirth at his college, where they had found out several of our customs, to which we were ourselves utter strangers. Upon this I consulted my father again." (from Journal of John Wesley, PC Study Bible formatted electronic database Copyright © 2003, 2006 by Biblesoft, Inc. All rights reserved.)

I can certainly relate to the challenge of folks laughing behind their backs at their customs - that weren't their customs at all.  It can be a challenging thing to deal with people who do not care to find out the truth, but love to pass rumors about you no matter how far-fetched they may be.  But even Jesus experienced ridicule, so I guess we can't be too surprised when we too have to face it on occasion:

"Now the Pharisees, who love money, had been listening to all this and began to ridicule Jesus." Luke 16:14 ISV

And this verse in Luke suggests a reason for it - differing values. Though we might wish it, I suppose we can't always expect respect from those whose values are very different from our own.

Another thing strikes me in this journal entry.  This is not the first time John mentioned getting advice from his father, and it made me think.  Are there times that I neglect to get advice from my Heavenly Father?  And are there others - perhaps including my earthly father - whose advice I should be seeking more often?

Father, thank you for your willingness to guide and direct me!  May I remember to ask for your advice and to listen for your answers to me!  Father, as I face the challenges of life, I also thank you for my husband and the advice I receive from him.  As I face various decisions in my life, if there are those from whom I should be seeking advice, please make that clear to me. Thank you for your love for me.  I love you, Father!

Circumcision

This morning, my reading brought me to one of those passages that can be so hard to understand:

At that time the Lord told Joshua, “Make for yourselves some flint knives and circumcise the Israelis who haven’t been circumcised yet.” So Joshua made some flint knives and circumcised the Israelis at Gibeath-haaraloth.  Joshua circumcised them because all of the males among the people who came out of Egypt—that is, all the warriors—had died during their journey through the wilderness following their departure from Egypt.  Although everyone who had left Egypt had been circumcised, nevertheless all the people born during the journey after their departure from Egypt had not been circumcised.  The Israelis traveled 40 years in the wilderness until the entire nation—that is, the warriors who had departed from Egypt—had perished because they hadn’t listened to the voice of the Lord. The Lord had promised them that he would not let them see the land that he had sworn to give us, a land that flows with milk and honey.  As a result, it was their descendants, whom he raised up to take their place, that Joshua circumcised. They had remained uncircumcised, because they had not been circumcised during their journey.  When the circumcision of the entire nation was complete, they remained in their places within the camp until they were healed. Then the Lord told Joshua, “Today I have rolled the disgrace of Egypt away from you.” That’s why that place is called “Gilgal” to this day.   Joshua 5:2-9 ISV

The practice of circumcision frankly seems rather barbaric.  Why did God require this of them? And what possible meaning does it have for me today?  One thing is certain. With all of their men disabled while they healed, this act would have been a major demonstration of faith as they were surrounded by enemies at the time!  

But if circumcision was so important, why not require it of the Gentiles in Paul's time? (Acts chapter 15 through 21). And why wasn't it done during the 40 years in the wilderness? One thing that strikes me is that IF some of these men decided to make inappropriate sexual advances towards someone, this would be a fairly visible sign of who they were and MIGHT help them make a different choice - though I'm not sure it really would or did.  Certainly, though at times a very visible sign of their covenant with God, it would not be visible under most circumstances.  

Why was the covenant just sealed between God and the men?  And just what was this covenant anyway?  I go back to the story of when circumcision was first prescribed by God.  Genesis chapter 17 tells the story of the covenant between God and Abraham and his descendants. 

The people were to:

• "live in constant awareness" that God was with them
• to be "blameless"
• and the males were to be circumcised

In turn, God promised to:

• make Abraham the father of many nations with many descendants - some of them kings.  
• to be their God
• and to give them the land of Canaan as an eternal possession
• and to give Abraham's 100 year old wife a son.

Though I can't say that I really understand the purpose behind the required circumcision, it certainly seems to be tied to the promise of the land of Canaan - and as such, very fitting in Joshua's day as they are so close to seeing the promise fulfilled.

I note that after the circumcision, God told Joshua, "Today I have rolled the disgrace of Egypt away from you.” Joshua 5:9 ISV  As I look up the meanings of the words in the original language, the meaning of the word "Egypt" jumps out at me.  It comes from the idea of "limitation".  And then I remember the verse from Jeremiah "Circumcise yourselves to the Lord and remove the foreskin of your heart" Jeremiah 4:4 ISV  Is this somehow what this is about?  What could the foreskin of the heart represent? And how does that relate to limitation symbolized by Egypt?

It strikes me that the heart often represents one's deepest beliefs, and that physically circumcising the males in Joshua's time was a clear act of faith - of putting their very lives in God's hand - as ALL of their soldiers were disabled for several days even though they were surrounded by enemies.  Perhaps in a similar way, circumcision of the heart represents excising doubts and acting on a deep-seated belief that God can be trusted.  This indeed moves us beyond limitation as we trust God and open to the possibilities presented as we allow Him to direct our paths.

Father, once again I hear those words in my heart, "Lord, I believe.  Help Thou mine unbelief!" (Mark 9:24).  May I no longer think or behave as though I still live in "Egypt", but instead remember that nothing is impossible with you (Matthew 17:20, Luke 1:37).  May those deep-seated beliefs in limitation that have been a part of my experience in the past be "circumcised" - fully removed so that I trust you fully to the very depths of my soul.  Father, thank you for the many experiences in recent months that have been such concrete demonstrations to me that nothing is impossible with you!  Thank you for the miracles I have seen so far and that I know You continue to perform for me daily.  You are an amazing God, and I am SO grateful!

God Cares

This morning I've been doing a little "beating myself up" over the fact that I haven't posted on my blog as often as I had hoped to recently.  In fact, though I hate to admit it, I've found it too easy recently to make excuses about my own devotional time (I've got too much to do, etc.).   I KNOW the TRUTH that the busier I am, the more I need to take the time with God to have Him set my agenda for the day - but it's tempting some days to pretend I don't know that!

This was the way I approached God's throne this morning.  Not with the joyful praises to God for the many many blessings He has sent my way, but with castigation of myself.  I thought about this verse:

But the Lord said to her, "My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41,42 Holy Bible, New Living Translation ®, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.

I KNEW I was being "a Martha" in the way I was handling life, and I was NOT happy with myself about it.  I went to my Bible software to re-read the story, and another verse caught my eye instead:

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7  Holy Bible, New Living Translation ®, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.

What an eye-opener that verse was for me today!  God doesn't want me beating myself up.  He simply wants to lift my burdens! He CARES about me!!!!  Yes, I know this.  I've read this verse and others like it plenty of times.  But today, it was like a direct message from God to me saying, "Please stop beating yourself up!  That is not my plan for you.  You are human and make mistakes and I understand that.  Now I need you to understand how much I love you and want to lift your burdens.  I want you to come to me and find rest for your soul!  That quiet time is my GIFT to you - not an obligation!"

As I write this, tears of gratitude flow.  God is so good to me!  He is such a caring Heavenly Father!  How sad to have started thinking of my time with God as an obligation instead of remembering what a great gift it is!  Father, Thank you for this gift!!! You have once again shown me that you take many steps toward me as I take one step toward you.  You clearly do indeed care about me and I am so grateful!  Thank you for lifting my burdens this day as I once again seek your will in my life.  May my thoughts, words, and actions be in alignment with your will, I pray.  Thank you, Father!  Amen.

A Great Door

This morning I was once again reading excerpts from John Wesley's journal.  As he was talking about his work with passengers aboard a ship in which he was traveling, he quoted a verse I did not remember seeing before.  As is my custom, when something grabs my attention, I try to take notice, figuring it is God's spirit speaking to me about something.  This was the verse that caught my eye:

 "For a great door and effectual is opened unto me, and there are many adversaries." 1 Corinthians 16:9  KJV

I decided to see how the International Standard Version put it, and backed up enough to understand the context.  Paul was writing about his plans and said, "I’ll stay on in Ephesus until Pentecost, because a door has opened wide for me to do effective work, although many people are opposing me." 1 Corinthians 16:8-9  ISV  For some reason, this felt like God speaking to me about a project on which I have been working.  

For some time I have known He had led me to this project, but have not understood "why".  Knowing I don't have to know why, but simply need to be obedient, I set aside such questions and simply continued with the work that had been set before me.  This past weekend, I was given a glimpse of the "why" in a conversation I had with someone. I felt such joy as I heard this person speak appreciation of the deep spiritual foundation they recognized in my activities, despite the fact that this project is quite mundane and it is generally inappropriate to speak of spiritual things in the course of working on this project.  It was so encouraging to hear!  I've known a "great door" had been opened for me but had wondered about the "effectual" part. Clearly both in that conversation, and in this passage, I'm being reassured about the effectiveness of my efforts.  As I write that, it seems so foolish that I should need it.  I've known that God opened the doors and has daily given me the wisdom and strength I need to do his will.  Why would I even consider that it wouldn't be effective?  And yet, even Jesus ministry was not effective for everyone, and I have indeed felt some results from people who "are opposing me".  I am grateful this morning for the encouragement I have received.

I have wondered, however, how long things will continue as they have been.  Financial needs have been met so far, but the project is NOT paying for itself, and unless that changes, we cannot continue indefinitely.  I have been thinking that we might not be able to continue past this coming spring.  Once again, these are questions I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about because I know that God is in charge.  I know that "He that hath begun a good work" in me will see it to completion (Phil 1:6), and I also know the "laborer is worthy of his hire" (Luke 10:7), and sometimes it is time to move on.

It was in this context that I read this verse from I Corinthians.  After recognizing and appreciating the affirmation of the "effectiveness" of the open door that was set before me, one of my first thoughts was "when is Pentecost"?  A search shows that it is June 8 of this coming year. That is certainly later than I had thought things might need to fold.  Glancing through the dates for Pentecost, I see that in the last 20 years or so, the earliest it fell was May 15, and the latest was June 12, so the 8th is clearly on the later side this coming year. I then did a quick check of the Eastern calendar, knowing that the timing of these religious holidays don't always coincide on the Eastern and the Western calendars.  This year, the two were over a month apart, but I find it interesting to note that in 2014 they fall on the same day! Only God knows the future and His plans for me.  I don't feel this as clear guidance that this is the way we are to plan or the way things for sure will go, but I do feel it as a possibility.  So, I will follow Mary's example and simply "ponder these things" in my heart (Luke 2:19), knowing God will give me clarity about these things when the time is right.

Father, thank you for once again giving me my daily bread!  I continue to be amazed at the way you feed me when I am willing to take time to eat!  Father, I recognize that taking time to eat is not something I'm always ready to do - in the spiritual or in the physical realms.  Once again I ask that your will be done in my life this day.  I am grateful for the spiritual food you have provided, and I now go to partake also of the physical food I need.  Thank you for your gentle reminders, Father!  Please continue to guide my path.  I love you, Father!

Bless me, Father!

Some mornings when I take my devotional time, I feel like a feast has been set before me and I am SO spiritually fed I feel full to overflowing.  At other times, it is hard to feel that connection.  I can't say what makes the difference, but I have seen the power of Jacob's words when he wrestled with God the night before he was to meet Esau.  He said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." - Genesis 32:26  NASU  

It can be tempting when I don't immediately recognize any spiritual food to just "leave the table" assuming it's just "not happening" today.  But Jesus taught us to pray "Give us this day our daily bread" (Matthew 6:11, Luke 11:3) and I have found that to be a powerful prayer - that applies to more than simply physical food.  It is a prayer I found myself praying once again this morning.

As I contemplated the story of Jacob, I was drawn to the blessing Jacob was given in response to his request.  He was asked what his "name" was and was given a new name.  In essence he was asked, what are you known for?  He had to reply "Jacob" - the supplanter or usurper. (Gen 32:28) He was told, "No longer - now you are to be known as 'Israel' one who has prevailed with God." 

What character traits do I have that need to be changed?  This is the blessing God seeks to give me today - to change my reputation!  One of the things I think of is that over the years I have sometimes had a reputation as a worrier.  This is a trait that I've seen God working in me to replace.  What a powerful and wonderful blessing if I come to be known as one with great faith instead of one who worries all the time!

Father, thank you for this blessing!  I know you are working in me to accomplish this!  Are there other such blessings I am to be recognizing at this time, Father?  I know another transformation you wish to bless me with is that I become known as generous and one who cares for others as much as myself, rather than selfish.  What a blessing, Father!  How wonderful to be able to be a blessing to others!  Father, as I move through my day this day, may these blessings be evident.  May my focus indeed be on you and others rather than on myself.  May I trust you fully rather than falling back into old habits of worrying about things.  Father, as I continue to contemplate my many blessings as this Thanksgiving season has reminded me to do, I see that the most amazing blessings of all are not the material blessings of food and shelter and clothing - though those are wonderful to have and I am so grateful for them.  The most amazing blessings are those changes you have made in me.  Increased faith and joy and generosity.  Father, I am SO grateful!

Today I Will Choose to Be Happy!

A few days ago I mentioned listening to an interview with Andy Andrews. That interview made such an impact that I went to my on-line library to see if it had any of his books.  I found "The Traveler's Gift" as an audio book and I've enjoyed listening to it as I go about my tasks.  What he calls the "Fifth Decision for Success" really struck me because it covers a topic I've been being brought to over and over again in my Bible studies recently.  This fifth decision for success is "I will choose to be happy."  

I have often seen in my life that when I am receptive to something God wants to teach me, that I find information abounding, but this has gone beyond what I've seen before.  In the same day I listened to this book I read someone's blog post that also talked about what God's been working to teach me!  This particular book by Andy Andrews has really given me food for thought about HOW to choose to be happy.  One of the things it suggests is that within moments of awakening I laugh for 7 seconds.  It claims it has a physiologic affect that promotes joy.  I've already seen that laughing at a joke can make a real difference as I go about the tasks God has set before me, so I can certainly believe it.  Yet I find myself hesitant to do this.  I don't want to be seen as foolish by my husband - even though I KNOW he would be accepting of my doing it!  Am I going to let pride interfere with the guidance God is sending my way regarding this topic?  

Other things that strike me as I read his "5th Decision" are these ideas:

• "People are drawn to me because I have laughter in my heart."  A week or two ago I wrote about the need to be in joy as I interact with others - especially in my new job.  This is one of the reasons it is so important!
• "I will smile at every person I meet. . . . it is . . . the most potent weapon I possess."  I guess I would prefer the word "tool" to "weapon" here, but I get the idea - a smile is powerful. Wow!  Not long ago I wrote about discouragement, and he goes on to say that a smile will wither away any discouragement!  
• Next he talks about cultivating a grateful spirit and how that also chases away discouragement.  This, of course, is something I've already been led to and have been blogging about, but one of the ways he said it really stood out to me. "It is impossible for the seeds of depression to take root in a thankful heart."

So, today, with Thanksgiving Day just around the corner, I find these ideas taking root in my heart in a way they have never done before.  For several years I have chosen to send out "Thanksgiving Cards" to some of those who have had an impact on my life during the year, thanking them for what and who they are in my life.  Today I see this task as even more important as I seek to incorporate God's instructions in my life - to "in everything give thanks" (1 Thes 5:18) and to "rejoice in the Lord always" (Phil 4:4).  Cultivating a joyful and grateful spirit is SO important!

Father, this morning I'm so grateful.  You are a wonderful teacher to me, sending just the information I need to hear when I need to hear it.  You've shown me that your joy is my strength (Neh 8:10) and that no matter what is going on in my life I can choose to be joyful because after all, "Nothing shall be impossible" with you (Luke 1:37)!  Father, this morning I DO make the choice to be happy.  You have given me so much!  Life, health, strength, joy, forgiveness are just the beginning of your gifts.  Father, thank you for the open door you have set before me and the willingness and strength you give me to walk through it!  Thank you for sleep and for joy!  Thank you for your presence in my life for truly "in your presence is fullness of joy" (Ps 16:11)!  Thank you, Father!

"You Give Them Something"

This week I was listening to the radio when a pastor started talking about the feeding of the 5000.  He quoted this passage from Mark:

By this time it was late in the day, so his disciples came to him. "This is a remote place," they said, "and it's already very late. Send the people away so they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat."

But he answered, "You give them something to eat."

They said to him, "That would take eight months of a man's wages! Are we to go and spend that much on bread and give it to them to eat?" 

"How many loaves do you have?" he asked. "Go and see." 

When they found out, they said, "Five — and two fish." 

Then Jesus directed them to have all the people sit down in groups on the green grass. So they sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish. The number of the men who had eaten was five thousand.     (Mark 6:35-44 NIV)

I don't know how many times I've heard this story - LOTS & LOTS!  But that day, it spoke to me in a way I'd never seen it before.  I could just hear the disciples saying, "Are we supposed to spend 8 months wages just to feed all these people?"  But Jesus told them they ALREADY HAD what they needed.  How often am I like those disciples, thinking that in order to do something I've been called to do I need to spend lots of resources that I don't feel I have to spare?  These words remind me that He's already given me everything I need!

So where am I needing that reminder today?  For me today the issue is not a physical meal - not even an emotional or spiritual one - though I am grateful for those, too.  The issue is time.  I am working on an on-going project that seems like no matter how much time I spend it is never enough and I'm never prepared as I think I need to be.  Jesus reminds me to give thanks and use what I have, trusting God to meet the needs of those I'm serving.  

I hear these words with a sense of relief - I DON'T have to burn the candle at both ends trying to prepare!  But, on the heels of those thoughts comes the realization.  This requires naked faith!  Look at what Jesus did.  He told 5000 men with their women and children to sit down in groups of 50 & 100 and proceeded to feed them with 5 small loaves and 2 fish!  How embarrassing if it didn't work out as he thought!

As I ponder this, I wonder how often I miss out on God's blessings because I'm afraid of being embarrassed!  Jesus has promised that His "yoke is easy" and His "burden is light" (Matt 11:30), yet I'm afraid too often I end up working (and worrying) really hard when perhaps I could be experiencing a lighter burden.  I think of the words of James "You have not because you ask not." (James 4:2)  and, "But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering." (James 1:6)

So, for today, I hear myself being told to let go of concerns about "having enough" and to use what I have, trusting God to see that it is enough.  It's scary to do this in the type of public situation that I face, but I ask myself, "Do I believe God can be trusted or not?"  Though my faith may be small as a mustard seed, the answer is that I DO know that God can be trusted.  

So, today, Father, I once again turn to you, trusting you to meet my needs.  Please guide my thoughts and actions in alignment with your will.  Thank you for the "open door" and the reminder that it is YOU that "builds this house" and "keeps everything running right".  Father, you know how scary it is for me to let go of that "Martha" part of me that is "careful and troubled about many things" (Luke 10:41), but I choose to believe your word and trust you.  Please guide my steps and keep me from falling as you've promised!  Please direct my mind and my activities so that which is needful is done.  Thank you for the assurance that I "have enough"!  YOU are all I need, Father, and I thank you for the reminder.  Amen.