SWEET!!!

Today's journaling is based on Ezekiel 2:8-3:3:

"Now you, son of man, listen to what I am speaking to you; do not be rebellious like that rebellious house.  Open your mouth and eat what I am giving you. Then I looked, behold, a hand was extended to me, and lo, a scroll was in it.  When He spread it out before me, it was written on the front and back and written on it were lamentations, mournings, and woe.  Then He said to me, 'Son of man, eat what you find; eat this scroll, and go, speak to the house of Israel.'     So I opened my mouth, and He fed me this scroll.   And He said to me, 'Son of man, feed your stomach, and fill your body with this scroll which I am giving you.'  Then I ate it, and it was sweet as honey in my mouth."

As I was reading this passage, I was really struck by the fact that the scroll tasted SWEET, even though it was filled with lamentations, mournings and woe!  As I contemplated this idea, several texts came to mind in rapid succession (emphasis mine):

"TASTE and see that the Lord is GOOD" (Ps 34:8)

 "Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS"(Phil 4:4)

 "In EVERYTHING give thanks" (1 Thes 5:18)

I am still FAR too quick to want to avoid lamentations, mourning, and woe - and far too quick to complain to God when these cross my path.  I KNOW better!  I've seen time and again when He brings great good for me out of situations I thought I didn't want.  

Father, forgive me!  I KNOW that your path is the path of peace and joy!  I KNOW you can be trusted with my life - far better than I can on my own!  Forgive me for those times when I've been one of the rebellious ones that didn't want to eat what you were giving me if I saw they might include lamentations, mournings, and woe - or even if it just wasn't what I thought I wanted at the time!  Father, I want to do your will.  I want to walk the path that you've set for me, regardless of my comfort level.  Thank you for not giving up on me when I have grumbled and complained!  Father, please fill me with your joy and your peace that I may willingly digest whatever you give me and recognize it's sweetness!  I love you, Father!

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To see how the bible journaling page was created, check my papercrafting blog.

ALL Things - even the small ones!

Yesterday I wrote a bit about my birthday text.  Today I did some more work on that same page, adding more concepts that I find relate to my special text.  Here is what the whole page looks like at this point:

As you can see, my focus today was on the GOOD in ALL things and GIVING THANKS in every situation.  Sometimes we tend to think God only speaks to us for the big decisions in our lives, but I've come to understand that he cares even about the minutia.  He says even the hairs on our heads are numbered! (Matthew 10:30, Luke 12:7)  I don't know about you, but I don't even care enough to count all the hairs on my head - it seems way too unimportant to bother with!  But that is just one example of how much God cares about us.  Nothing about us is too unimportant to Him!  And today He showed me that once again.

I had ordered a Bible that looked like it would be really nice for this sort of journaling, but it will take several weeks for me to get it and I was eager to get started with this new way of interacting with God.  So, I went through all my Bibles, looking for one that had a wide enough margin for this work - and I found a New American Standard "International Inductive Study Bible" that I've had for years.  That's the one I'm currently using, and I'm finding it works really well EXCEPT that I'd really like an attached ribbon marker to keep my place!  (This actually is something folks have mentioned is missing on the Bible I ordered as well.)  

Today as my husband and I were sharing devotional time, I happened to notice the ribbon marker in his Bible, and realized how easy it would be to add to mine.  So after we were finished, I immediately came to my office/craft room and started working on the project.  I decided while I was at it I might as well add several more ribbon markers while I was at it!

I found some lovely metallic ribbons and measured each one the length I wanted it - adding a couple of inches to allow for it to hang down into the spine of the Bible.  For each one I cut a pointed end at what would be the visible end, and just cut it straight across for the end that would be hidden in the spine.  I then used "Fray Check" (small bottle of liquid available at your fabric store) on the ends of each ribbon to help keep them from unraveling.  Next I held the ribbon out to see where it should connect to the spine & marked that spot.  I used my ATG with it's double-sided adhesive to add adhesive from the marked spot to the end of the ribbon (the part that would hang down inside the spine).  I then carefully opened the bible and pulled out the backing from the spine as much as possible so I could lower the adhesive backed end in next to the spine.  One at a time, when I got each were I wanted it, I closed the Bible and pressed against the spine to adhere the tape to the inside spine.  When all were in place, I took a needle with gold thread and carefully sewed the ribbons tightly to the spine at the top.  That's all it took!  Pretty quick and easy and ready to use.  Here are some pictures:

 Ribbons as sewn - before pulling into the Bible as bookmarks.

 Ribbons hanging out the end as they form the bookmarks.

Father, thank you that you care so much about me that even the little things matter!  I know I can only BEGIN to comprehend your love for me, but what I DO understand amazes me.  I am so grateful!  Thank you for being such a source of joy and inspiration.  And most of all, thank you for your amazing love!  I love you, Father.

I Was Afraid

“I heard your voice in the garden,” the man answered, “and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid from you.” Genesis 3:10 ISV 

This morning I woke up thinking about balloons.  I thought about how much fun it was to pop balloons with a small child - but how you usually had to first train them to think it was funny.  The first time a baby hears a balloon pop, they're likely to startle and cry, but they soon learn it is "fun".  The same thing happens with the game of peek-a-boo.  We're training babies to take unexpected events in stride and even enjoy them.  Why do even babies initially find unexpected events frightening? As I read Adam & Eve's story in Genesis, it sure sounds as though fear was unknown until disobedience and sin entered this world. 

Popping balloons, peek-a-boo - just some of the things we do to train our children to take the unexpected in stride so they can experience joy in life. But how do we do as adults?  How do we handle surprises?  Have we really learned the lessons we try to teach the little ones? Take for instance, a surprise party - how do we react?  Do we enjoy it, or hate it?  What about other unexpected events in our lives?  Do we find joy in the unexpected, or do we react with apprehension?  

As I pondered these things, I realized how often I am apprehensive (if not downright afraid) when unexpected things occur. And many people would even argue that this is quite reasonable.  Loud noises can be indicators of danger (perhaps a gunshot rather than a balloon popping or fireworks).  Unexpected events often can have dangerous consequences.  For instance, what if I suddenly discover (as I did several months ago) that someone has been trying to obtain credit using my personal information?  Identity theft!  A scary thing!  And yet, if I really believe my Heavenly Father loves me and is in charge of my life as I have asked Him to be, wouldn't I trust that unexpected things are designed for my good and to bring me pleasure?  

I think of Jesus' words in Matthew 7:9-12:

“There isn’t a person among you who would give his son a stone if he asked for bread, is there? Or if he asks for a fish, he wouldn’t give him a snake, would he? So if you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who keep on asking him! Therefore, whatever you want people to do for you, do the same for them, because this summarizes the Law and the Prophets.”  ISV

As I think of these things, I imagine what my life would be like if - no matter what unexpected things came my way - I reacted with joy, knowing them to be good gifts from my Heavenly Father.  Isn't this indeed what we are counseled to do?  

"In everything be thankful, because this is God’s will for you in the Messiah Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18-19 ISV

I think of my nephew when he was little.  He was flying in a plane with his mother who worked for the airlines and had taught him that flying was fun.  On this particular day, the plane hit some pretty heavy turbulence and many of the passengers were afraid.  For my nephew, however, it was like a fun ride at Disney World!  He sat in his seat and every time the plane hit a "bump" he joyfully exclaimed "Wheeee!"

Father, I want to be more like that little child in the way I relate to the unexpected events that come my way.  You have given so many promises of protection and I do believe that you give good gifts to your children!  I don't want to continue to live a life of apprehension when faced with the unexpected, but instead one of joy and thanksgiving - whether expected or unexpected.  I want to fully trust you as a child trusts his parent. 

 

I am indeed grateful at the way you helped insure that I found out about the identity theft as quickly as I did and was able to take timely action.  I am grateful for the many opportunities you have brought my way in my work - and I apologize for the way I faced some of those opportunities with fear. I praise you for the way you care for me so carefully.  You are indeed like a wonderful shepherd, and I am so grateful.  

 

Just as I prepare my students so they will be able to meet the challenges of each new thing I teach them, so you prepare me to meet the challenges of each day.  Thank you, Father! And yet, it is so hard for me to let go of apprehension, Father!  It's like it is ingrained within me.  I ask you to remove all fear and fill me with trust in you.  Thank you for being like a loving Father that plays peek-a-boo with me, teaching me gently that all is okay no matter how unexpected.  Father, I am so grateful for your gentleness!  Once again, today I seek your guidance in my life, that your will may be done in and through me this day.  Thank you, Father, that I know this means GOOD things!  Lord, I believe, help thou mine unbelief as I face the challenges that this day brings.  I love you, Father!

Happy New Year!

Do you make New Year's resolutions?  It's not something I necessarily formally do, but in a new year, my thoughts DO naturally turn to thoughts of how things went over the last year and what I want to see in the new year.  This morning my attention was caught by a quote in the December 2013 Guidepost's magazine.  

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas lights." - Maya Angelou

What would people learn about me by the way I handle these types of things?  I know the way I would like to handle them.  I'd like to follow God's advice to "in everything give thanks" (I Thessalonians 5:18) and always demonstrate my faith in Him to sort everything out.  I also know that many times I fall far short of doing so.  Today is a good example of that.  I'm not feeling as well physically as I would like, nor am I feeling as well prepared as I'd like to be for the tasks I face today. I wish I could just take the day off and rest, but I have responsibilities to meet. It's tempting to murmur and complain about things, and giving thanks for them is such a foreign concept - yet it's what I'm called to do!

As I contemplated the idea of New Year's resolutions, I remembered some Bible passages that talked about having "resolved" to do something, so decided to use a concordance to look up that word in the New International Version.  Four passages came up:

1. II Chronicles 20:3 - "Alarmed, Jehoshaphat resolved to inquire of the Lord" NIV - Jehosaphat was faced with an army that was much larger than his resources appeared ready to meet, so he gathered the Israelites and they fasted and prayed about the situation.  Then God sent an answer through Jezariel - Zechariah's son.  "This is what the Lord says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's."  2 Chronicles 20:15 NIV  This is what I need to remember.  No matter what it is that I am facing, I need to resolve to inquire of the Lord, and I need to remember that the battle is not mine, it is God's! When I remember this, then I can find a basis for which to indeed meet all challenges with thanksgiving.  They are opportunities for me to really see God's power at work in my life!


2. "I have resolved that my mouth will not sin." Psalms 17:3 NIV   My first thought as I read this verse was of my inclination to complain and the suggestion of a resolve to avoid that. Then as I read the 3rd "resolved" verse (see #3 below), I realized it could also relate to a resolution about healthy eating.


3. "Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way." Daniel 1:8-9 NIV As I read this verse, I realize that indeed, eating rich foods that are not good for me is "defiling myself".  Why would I want to do that? Father, please remove in me any desire for such things!


4. "For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.  I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling.  My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." 1 Corinthians 2:2-5 NIV  I think this is part of what God wants to see in me as I continually find myself facing situations for which I don't feel I have the energy or resources to meet.  I need to learn to relax and trust that there will be a demonstration of the Spirit's power as I step into what I've been called to do.  I indeed am facing my tasks today with "weakness and fear, and with much trembling" but I know that He that hath begun a good work in me will see it to completion (Phil 1:6). 

Father, like in Jehosephat's story, I see your hand in bringing me to where I am today.  I am grateful for the reminder that the battle is not mine, but yours!  Father, if it is your will, I pray for healing and strength both physically and mentally as I prepare to meet the tasks you have set before me.  Father, at some times, it's hard to see that "open door" you've set before me and said no one can shut. (Rev 3:8-9)  It sure looks like it's closing sometimes!  Father, help me to keep your word and not deny your name!  I remember your many words of wisdom to me, including the reminder that "Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it" (Ps 127:1).  Father, I look to you to do the building.  May I be fully in alignment with your will this day and let you do the battle.  As Jehosephat said in 2 Chron 20:12, I too recognize that I have no power to face what is ahead, and I don't know what to do, but my eyes are upon you, Father.  I need your energy and your strength for this day.  I cannot make it on my own.  Please fill me with your joy as I remember that is where my strength comes from (Neh 8:10).  Thank you, Father!  Amen. 

Who Also Will Do It

"Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24  KJV

Today this verse jumped out at me as a reminder.  It is so easy to fall into the trap of thinking I have to do everything myself and to feel overwhelmed with all I feel called to do!  But Jesus promised "my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt 11:30)  If I'm feeling heavily burdened, there's a strong chance I'm not submitting to that yoke very well.

So, in this busy season, I see how important it is for me to continue to seek God's will in my life and to be sure that what I'm doing is indeed within His will.  Then I need to relax and work WITH Him to accomplish that which has been given me to do.   

Father, thank you for your many promises to me. Please forgive me for those times when I have not submitted well to your guidance.  Once again I ask you to fulfill your promise of working in me both to WILL and to DO of your good pleasure (Phil 2:13). May I experience more fully this day the way the burdens are eased as I yoke with you!  Thank you for life and health and strength.  Thank you for your guidance - those gentle nudges when I start to move out of your will, as well as the unexpected insights.  Thank you for your protection, Father - physical, emotional and spiritual.  As I think of my family and friends today, I am so grateful for them, Father.  I ask your protection for them as well.  May they know the joy of living in your will, Father.  Thank you for your work in their behalf, just as you do for me.

Today I Will Choose to Be Happy!

A few days ago I mentioned listening to an interview with Andy Andrews. That interview made such an impact that I went to my on-line library to see if it had any of his books.  I found "The Traveler's Gift" as an audio book and I've enjoyed listening to it as I go about my tasks.  What he calls the "Fifth Decision for Success" really struck me because it covers a topic I've been being brought to over and over again in my Bible studies recently.  This fifth decision for success is "I will choose to be happy."  

I have often seen in my life that when I am receptive to something God wants to teach me, that I find information abounding, but this has gone beyond what I've seen before.  In the same day I listened to this book I read someone's blog post that also talked about what God's been working to teach me!  This particular book by Andy Andrews has really given me food for thought about HOW to choose to be happy.  One of the things it suggests is that within moments of awakening I laugh for 7 seconds.  It claims it has a physiologic affect that promotes joy.  I've already seen that laughing at a joke can make a real difference as I go about the tasks God has set before me, so I can certainly believe it.  Yet I find myself hesitant to do this.  I don't want to be seen as foolish by my husband - even though I KNOW he would be accepting of my doing it!  Am I going to let pride interfere with the guidance God is sending my way regarding this topic?  

Other things that strike me as I read his "5th Decision" are these ideas:

• "People are drawn to me because I have laughter in my heart."  A week or two ago I wrote about the need to be in joy as I interact with others - especially in my new job.  This is one of the reasons it is so important!
• "I will smile at every person I meet. . . . it is . . . the most potent weapon I possess."  I guess I would prefer the word "tool" to "weapon" here, but I get the idea - a smile is powerful. Wow!  Not long ago I wrote about discouragement, and he goes on to say that a smile will wither away any discouragement!  
• Next he talks about cultivating a grateful spirit and how that also chases away discouragement.  This, of course, is something I've already been led to and have been blogging about, but one of the ways he said it really stood out to me. "It is impossible for the seeds of depression to take root in a thankful heart."

So, today, with Thanksgiving Day just around the corner, I find these ideas taking root in my heart in a way they have never done before.  For several years I have chosen to send out "Thanksgiving Cards" to some of those who have had an impact on my life during the year, thanking them for what and who they are in my life.  Today I see this task as even more important as I seek to incorporate God's instructions in my life - to "in everything give thanks" (1 Thes 5:18) and to "rejoice in the Lord always" (Phil 4:4).  Cultivating a joyful and grateful spirit is SO important!

Father, this morning I'm so grateful.  You are a wonderful teacher to me, sending just the information I need to hear when I need to hear it.  You've shown me that your joy is my strength (Neh 8:10) and that no matter what is going on in my life I can choose to be joyful because after all, "Nothing shall be impossible" with you (Luke 1:37)!  Father, this morning I DO make the choice to be happy.  You have given me so much!  Life, health, strength, joy, forgiveness are just the beginning of your gifts.  Father, thank you for the open door you have set before me and the willingness and strength you give me to walk through it!  Thank you for sleep and for joy!  Thank you for your presence in my life for truly "in your presence is fullness of joy" (Ps 16:11)!  Thank you, Father!

Thankful in ALL Things

The last few days I've had opportunity to really think deeply about the idea that we should be giving thanks to God in ALL things - no matter what happens. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 is an example of this admonition.  It says, "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." (KJV)  If I've prayed "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven", then I must accept that whatever occurs is the will of God concerning me (or else believe my prayer has gone unheard, which I DON'T believe).  As I've shared many times on this blog, another verse that has had a big impact on me is this one from  Psalms 119:164, "Seven times each day I stop and shout praises for the way you keep everything running right." (from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)

But sometimes, in our humanness, it can be SO hard to see and believe that God is keeping everything running right! I've had some physical challenges the last few days that have given me an opportunity to think more deeply about these things.  On a purely human and physical level, it sure hasn't seemed like God was keeping everything running right in my body!  And yet, this has been an opportunity to take the idea that no matter how things look God IS keeping everything running right, and start to understand and apply it in a very concrete way.  So, several times over the last few days, I've asked myself the question, "What if all really IS running right?  How might this challenge be working for my very best good?" After all, Romans 8:28 reminds me that "All things work together for good to them that love God".  While my love certainly has not been fully perfected, I certainly DO love God, so this is a promise I can hold on to when things in my life don't go as I thought they should. 

As I've dealt with the challenges I've faced this week, seeking to better understand God's will for me, knowing that God wants the best for me, I've come to understand that perhaps what I've been experiencing is discipline.  The opportunity to experience the consequences of my actions so that I can make better choices. As I was reading this morning, these verses jumped out at me. 

"And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown.  Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified."(1 Corinthians 9:25-27 NKJV)

And I had to ask myself, have I been "temperate in all things"?  Have I been disciplining my body?  The ISV puts it this way:

"Everyone who enters an athletic contest practices self-control in everything. They do it to win a wreath that withers away, but we run to win a prize that never fades. That is the way I run, with a clear goal in mind. That is the way I fight, not like someone shadow boxing. No, I keep on disciplining my body, making it serve me so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not somehow be disqualified." (ISV)

Have I been practicing self-control?  The answer is simply "not always - sometimes better than others".  What if the physical challenges I've been experiencing have been to help me learn better self-discipline and temperance in the way I treat my body?  If I pour sand into the gas tank of my car, I can't be too surprised if it doesn't work well.  Likewise, my body needs proper care, including the best nourishment, exercise, etc.  There have been times this week as I've stopped to shout praises as instructed in that verse in Psalms, when I've found myself saying, "But He isn't keeping everything running right, look what's going on in my body."  But my body was designed to function a certain way.  I have to realize that it IS indeed running the way it was designed to run!  I haven't been taking care of it as I should, and have experienced results that are to be expected under those conditions.  What I've also seen is that as I take a step forward to better take care of myself, healing sometimes occurs far more rapidly than one could possibly expect.   

Thank you, God!  Clearly you are indeed keeping everything running right, and teaching me how I can best support you in that endeavor with regards to taking care of my body.  Thank you, Father, for being such a gentle disciplinarian.  Thank you for the promise that the work you've begun in my you will see to completion.  Again this morning I seek your will in my life.  May my will be brought into alignment with yours, and may my thoughts, words and actions be as you would have them be is my prayer this morning Father.  Thank you!

Life - or Knowledge of Good or Evil?

For several days now a passage from Mark has been in the back of my mind and I've been pondering it:

"Then he called to the crowd again and told them, “Listen to me, all of you, and understand!  Nothing that goes into a person from the outside can make him unclean. It’s what comes out of a person that makes a person unclean. If anyone has ears to hear, let him listen!” When he had left the crowd and gone home, his disciples began asking him about the parable. He asked them, “Are you so ignorant? Don’t you know that nothing that goes into a person from the outside can make him unclean?  Because it doesn’t go into his heart but into his stomach, and then into the sewer, thereby expelling all foods.”  Then he continued, “It’s what comes out of a person that makes a person unclean, because it’s from within, from the human heart, that evil thoughts come, as well as sexual immorality, stealing, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, cheating, shameless lust, envy, slander, arrogance, and foolishness. All these things come from inside and make a person unclean.” (Mark 7:14-23 ISV)

We live in a day and age when much is made about proper diet in maintaining our health.  While I DO believe that it is prudent to consider such things, this passage has kept pushing my thinking on this matter.  Certainly I understand the spiritual implications here, but what if it is true physically as well?  In this "scientific age" are we so focused on the ideas of germs and healthy diet that we're missing the more important picture?  We all know people who have lived a lifestyle that was far from healthy by today's standards, and yet have lived a long life.  Is this the missing ingredient? It was in this context that I read in the book of Genesis this morning:

"The tree of life was also in the middle of the garden, along with the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. . . . The Lord God commanded the man: “You may freely eat from every tree of the garden, but you are not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, because you will certainly die during the day that you eat from it.” . . . . When the woman saw that the tree produced good food, was attractive in appearance, and was desirable for making one wise, she took some of its fruit and ate it. Then she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate some, too. As a result, they both understood what they had done, and they became aware that they were naked. . . . When they heard the voice of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden during the breeze of the day, the man and his wife concealed themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. . . . . Later, the Lord God said, “Look! The man has become like one of us in knowing good and evil. Now, so he won’t reach out, also take from the tree of life, eat, and then live forever—” therefore the Lord God expelled the man from the garden of Eden so he would work the ground from which he had been taken." (Genesis 2:9, 16-17; 3: 6-7, 8-9, 22-23  ISV)

The message in Genesis seems very clear.  Death came to this world because of eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. The story of Adam and Eve and their eating of the fruit of the tree and being forced to leave the garden is told often enough that we may forget to pay attention.  Do we miss the point of this story?  It seems to me that this story is NOT being told simply to give me someone to blame for my plight!  It tells me what went wrong to put me in this situation - and can perhaps serve as a signpost for me as to what I would do best to avoid.  Yes, Adam and Eve ate of that tree, but do I have to continue to do so?  How and when do I do so?  Do I want to continue this practice when I've been told so clearly that it leads to death?

It seems to me that in the spiritual sense, we eat of something when we focus our mind and attention on it - when we try to digest it.  So, how much of my time and energy is spent trying to figure out (to come to know) what is good and what is bad - as the Amplified Bible says, knowledge of "blessing and calamity"?  I notice that in doing so, if our experience is anything like that of Adam and Eve, trying to sort that out separates us from God and makes us want to hide from Him - like a two-year-old hiding from his parents because he knows he's done something that they won't like! 

I'm NOT suggesting that it would be best to just run around doing anything I please because a focus on good versus evil is detrimental.  I think about what Paul said to the Corinthians, "All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." (1 Corinthians 6:12 KJV)  But I can't help wishing we could still choose to eat from the Tree of Life instead of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.  I know that Adam and Eve's access to that tree was blocked, but as I think about it, I realize I DO still have access to that Tree of Life!  Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life"! (John 14:6, emphasis mine)

It strikes me that I DO have a choice, and that is what all the verses about praising God in all circumstances are all about.  Instead of spending my time and energy worrying about what is good and what is bad about my life and whether or not I've made right choices, I can simply seek God's will, trust that when I ask Him for fish he won't give me a snake (Luke 11:11), and TRUST that it is ALL GOOD!  (Romans 8:28, Phil 4:4, I Thes 5:18, etc.)

So many verses come to mind:

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life." (John 5:24 KJV)

"He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him." (John 3:36 KJV)

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life. I am that bread of life." (John 6:47-48 KJV)

"I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world." (John 6:51 KJV)

I think of my experiences of the last several months as I have actively sought spiritual daily bread from my Father, and have actively sought His will for my life. Life has been AMAZING!  I think a "parable" can perhaps better illustrate the difference. 

Two different women are taking a trip through a foreign country. 

Jackie has spent months planning for this, her dream trip. She thought about taking a guided tour, but decided against it because she knew the guide's agenda could be quite different than her own and she didn't want to be tied to His schedule.  She wanted to be free to do whatever struck her fancy.   She's tried to make sure every detail has been handled.  What will she do if her passport or money is lost or stolen?  What can she do to protect herself?  What if she gets sick?  What medicines should she have with her?  How can she make sure she finds her way to the destinations she has chosen?  And what are the best destinations anyway?  She sure doesn't want to miss out on anything important!  What clothes should she take?  All these decisions seem almost overwhelming, and three months is SUCH a short time to sort it all out! 

For Patricia, the idea to travel came out of the blue.  She has very contentedly been enjoying her life, when suddenly a travel brochure came her way and something inside said, "Why don't you go?"  The brochure was for a guided tour and it sounded so fun!  All those places to experience, and the guide sounded so knowledgeable!  She decided to sign up.  It was about 3 months before the trip and before she knew it she was receiving periodic mailings from the tour guide, suggesting what she needed to do to prepare for the trip.  Each mailing had a few specific things to do that didn't take long, but helped her feel better prepared and increased her joy about the upcoming travel opportunity.  The night before her trip, her bags are packed and she feels so joyfully serene.  She KNOWS it is going to be a great trip!  She sets her alarm, knowing it is probably not needed.  Her experience is that she naturally awakens when the time is right.

The night before Jackie is to leave, she can't sleep.  She keeps going over her lists in her mind.  Has she forgotten anything?  Did she set her alarm clock? It sure wouldn't do to miss her flight!  What if she sleeps through her alarm? Next morning, after a harrowing drive through heavy traffic, Jackie arrives at the airport and parks in the long-term lot.  She should have had plenty of time, but she took a detour when she saw how heavy traffic was, and it turned out to be even worse!  As she starts to unload in the long-term lot, she starts thinking about her car. She sure hopes it will be okay here!  What if someone breaks into it while she's gone?  Struggling with her luggage she heads to the shuttle bus stop and continues her inner dialogue.  Will the shuttle bus get her to the airport check-in in time? How will she manage with all her luggage? Once she gets there, how will she know where to go to deal with her luggage and board her flight?  After arriving at the airport and checking in, Jackie anxiously waits through the long security line hoping and praying that everything goes okay and she makes her flight. 

On the morning of her flight, Patricia awakens in plenty of time feeling well rested and eager to start her journey.  Her guide had suggested that she arrange for a shuttle to the airport, and it arrives right on time.  The driver helps her with her luggage and Patricia settles back to enjoy the scenery as they head to the airport.  What a LOVELY day!  The sun is just beginning its climb into the sky, the birds are singing praises, and Patricia joins them as she silently gives thanks for the opportunities in store for her.  They arrive at the airport in plenty of time.  The shuttle driver helps her with her luggage. She meets up with her tour group and the tour guide takes them all to check-in and then through security to board their flight.

Jackie makes it to the gate just in time to board the flight.  She quickly boards the plane and starts worrying about the flight itself.  What if something happens to the flight?  How can she be prepared for an emergency on board the airplane?  If the plane has a problem in mid-flight, what will she do?  And what about her destination?  Will she be able to find the taxi okay?  Will her lodging be what she expects?  What if she gets a bad taxi driver - one that tries to take advantage of a woman traveling alone? What if, what if. . . . ?

Patricia introduces herself to another woman in the tour group and the two have a great time of getting acquainted while waiting to board their flight.  People are all so friendly and helpful!  She once again silently gives thanks for the opportunities coming her way.

You get the idea. Patricia continues to have a wonderful time, in spite of lost luggage that took a couple of days to catch up with her. It's all one great big adventure and she enjoys every minute of it. Her tour guide and new friends on the tour helped her get by until her luggage arrived and she was able to simply relax and enjoy the journey as it unfolded.  When her trip was over and she arrived back home, she had plenty of lovely memories and was ready to step into the next adventures coming her way right in her own home town.  Jackie, on the other hand, continued to worry her way through her travels.  Whenever one hurdle was overcome, another presented itself, and she never really had time to relax and take in the wonders around her.  She arrived back home after her trip feeling more in need of a vacation than she was when she left

I've lived both ways, and I must say that I am finding Patricia's way SO much more enjoyable!  When I pray for God's will to be done in my life, and honestly seek His guidance, He gives me what I ask for!  He serves as my tour guide and I can relax and let Him handle all the details!  This, I think is what it means to eat of the Bread of Life instead of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  And I've had some very specific experiences of this in the last few months.  It's been amazing to me the way all the details of my life work out when I relax and let Him take charge!  I never knew things could be so easy!  It's not easy to break the worry habit, but it is SO worth it!  Living life with a joyful song in my heart, instead of the continual inner monologue about whether or not things are going as they should - what an amazing thing!  This is the way I want to learn to live ALL of my life!

Getting back to my thoughts about healthful living, it seems pretty clear which way of life would be more healthful. Science has given us much information about the dangers of stress and how it is such a big factor in so many serious diseases.  In fact, that very word, "disease" tells us something.  Disease comes from "dis - ease" - not being at ease, or being under stress.  What if what Jesus said is really true?  What if it is all the stress that comes from the way we approach life, our worrying about good and evil, that is what really causes our health issues - rather than our diet?  Perhaps tossing the stress-filled life for a joy-filled one with God as our guide is the true boost that we need for our immune system?!

Father, thank you for your willingness to be my guide in this journey called life!  Thank you for the experiences you are giving me that help me to understand how much better life is as I seek to digest your guidance to me rather than worrying about trying to discern between good and evil myself.  Thank you for the wonderful opportunities you are bringing my way!  Please keep my heart and mind focused on you, and make your will clear to me today.  Please continue your work in me to both WILL and to DO of your good pleasure.  May your will be done in the earth of my heart and life this day is my prayer.  Thank you, Father!

Worry

Today I've been thinking about the foolishness of worry.  A song I learned as a child asks, "Why worry when you can pray?"  It is such a good question!  It is so easy for me to slip into worry, but it is such a waste of time - and worse.  

I came across a quote from Corrie Ten Boom this morning that really sums it up.  She says, "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength." Isn't that the truth!

As a survivor of a Nazi concentration camp where her sister died, her ideas about worry and strength come out of some of the most horrendous experiences, but her stories are so inspirational.  One that comes to mind is how her sister insisted they must follow the Biblical instruction to be thankful in all circumstances (I Thessalonians 5:18).  They were in this prison camp with little food, and found themselves in a barracks full of fleas.  Corrie told her sister she just couldn't be thankful for fleas!  But as the story unfolds, she discovered that she COULD be grateful for the fleas.  The guards seldom came around to bother them because they were avoiding the fleas!  

As I think about letting go of worry, I realize that is indeed the "cure".  I need to learn to be thankful in all things and to focus on gratitude and trust in God.  As days go by, I continue to see how God "keeps everything running right" (Ps. 119:164) and I am indeed so grateful! 

Father, once again this morning, I turn to you, asking that you guide and direct my life this day.  May my thoughts, words, and actions be in alignment with your will, I pray.  Thank you for your love for me!  Thank you that you have everything under control, and I can trust you.  Thank you for taking this foolish burden of worry from me and replacing it with love and trust in you.  Amen.

My Guardian

This morning I opened my new Bible - the International Standard Version - to where I left off at the end of Psalms 119.  I noticed that in this version, each of the chapters have a title or heading, so I started to go through and look at those.  As I did so, one jumped out at me. The entire chapter is only 7 verses long:

The Guardian of God’s People

"I lift up my eyes toward the mountains—from where will my help come?  My help is from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth.  He will never let your foot slip, nor will your guardian become drowsy.  Look! The one who is guarding Israel never sleeps and does not take naps.  The Lord is your guardian; the Lord is your shade at your right side.  The sun will not ravage you by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord will guard you from all evil, preserving your life.  The Lord will guard your goings and comings, from this time on and forever." (Psalm 121   ISV)

I realize how easy it is for me to fall back into fear as I move forward into the challenges of each day.  It helps to remind myself that I've given God charge of my life and he is leading me.  This short chapter is full of wonderful promises.  Several stand out particularly to me today:

• "He will never let your foot slip" Thank you, Father! You know my concerns about making a wrong move.  What a wonderful promise this is.  Father, I believe, help thou mine unbelief!  May I relax and trust you fully!  How wonderful to know that you will not let my foot slip!
• "Nor will your guardian become drowsy. . . (he) never sleeps and does not take naps." I get a kick out of this one.  I remember when I was growing up, there was a night watchman who was hired to keep an eye on a nearby building - but it seemed he was always SLEEPING!  Though it seems silly to think of God falling asleep on the job, I am so grateful to know that nothing will catch Him unawares.  He has my back no matter what. Thank you, Father!
• "The Lord will guard your goings and comings from this time on and forever."  Unfortunately, I have a tendency to worry about a lot of things.  One of those is that I'll forget to stop and consciously ask my Father for guidance about something and get myself in trouble.  This verse speaks to this for me.  God knows I want His leading in my life and that I am working on learning to "pray without ceasing" (I Thessalonians 5:17), but He also understands my human forgetfulness.  I take this verse as a promise that he continues to guard my activities - even on those occasions where I forget to formally seek His will.  I've given my will and my life to Him and He takes that decision seriously.  Thank you, Father! I am so glad that NOTHING can separate me from your love (Romans 8:35,38,39) - not even myself!  Thank you, Father!

I look again at the verse from I Thessalonians that had come to mind - and read the surrounding verses.  Paul had written instructions for daily living to the church members there and this verse is in the middle of his instructions, sandwiched on both sides by instructions to be joyfilled and thankful:

"Always be joyful. Continually be prayerful. In everything be thankful, because this is God’s will for you in the Messiah Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-19 ISV)

It sounds good, doesn't it?  But how challenging it is for me to stay in that mindset!  ALWAYS be joyful?  CONTINUALLY be prayerful? In EVERYTHING be thankful?  What a tall order.  I am so glad that God is not just the author, but also the finisher of my faith (Heb 2:2).  He will continue the work He has begun in me will continue it and see it to completion (Phil 1:6), always bringing me closer to living that ideal.

Father, thank you so much for your love and power in my life!  May I learn from you so that I can follow these instructions to ALWAYS be joyful, CONTINUALLY be prayerful, and in EVERYTHING be thankful!  One would think it would be relatively easy to follow these instructions when things seem to be going well; that the challenge would come when thing seem to be going badly.  Unfortunately, Father, I see in me a tendency toward worry even when things are going well!  I think of that song from childhood, "Why worry, when you can pray?"  What a great question.  Father, I want to give you my burdens as I've been instructed to do; to turn my worries over to you and move forward in joyful thanksgiving.  Even this I can only do through your strength and love and I ask for that once again this day.  Thank you for all you are doing in my life!  And thank you for the following words that you brought to my mind:

"For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands."  (Isaiah 55:12  KJV)

Thank you, Father!  It is indeed "a good thing to give thanks" to you. (Ps 92:1) You do indeed do all things well (Mark 7:37), and I am grateful.  Once again this day I choose to enter into your gates with singing and into your courts with praise (Ps 100:4) as I remember that "This is the day that the Lord hath made. We will rejoice and be glad in it."(Ps 118:24)  Thank you, Father!  Thank you for what you are doing in my life and the miracles you are performing for me now.  Father, you know the desires of my heart even better than I do, and I rejoice as I remember your words through the Psalmist: 

"Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.  Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass."  (Psalms 37:4-5 KJV)

Wow, not only is my life to be easier because of handing over my worry to you so that I can always be joyful, but you've promised that as I do so, as I delight in You, You will give me the desires of my heart!  As if being able to be joy-filled isn't reward enough, you add even more incentive!  Father, thank you.  I know you know me better than I know myself, and I can trust you to know what my truest desires are.  Thank you for this wonderful promise that as I delight in you, you will give me my desires!  No wonder Jesus talked about how you give: "good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over" (Luke 6:38).  

As I read this verse in Luke, I am reminded that I am expected to give - that indeed this is a prerequisite for receiving.  I find myself asking, "What am I to give"?  I don't want to keep the blessings at bay by being selfish and tightfisted!  Then I am gently reminded of the many things I've been giving: time spent cueing, hand crafted cards for folks, fabric, etc. And yet I know my heart and how easy it is to become selfish.  Father, please guard my heart and my mind as promised (Phil 4:7). May I be so filled with your love that giving is second nature to me and that I give to others as freely as you give to me.  Thank you, Father.
 

This brings me full circle to where I started this morning - with the idea of God as my guardian.  Father you have given me so many wonderful promises this morning!  Thank you for being such a good guardian to me - today and everyday.  Thank you for guarding my path and keeping me from falling, and for giving me my hearts desires and for giving me joy and peace instead of worry and depression.  As Isaiah said, you give: "a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, a mantle of praise instead of a spirit of despair." (Isaiah 61:3 ISV) Thank you, thank you, thank you!

No Matter What

Today I am once again dealing with a change in what I thought were my plans.  It's so easy to get frustrated at a time like this and ask "Why?  Why did I put so much time into preparing for something only to have things change?  I have plenty of other things I could have done instead!"  And yet I am reminded this morning that I am to give thanks in ALL things. To do otherwise is to cease to trust in God's plan for me!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says: "Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live." (from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)  

And I once again am drawn to the words of Romans 8:26-28: "Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans.  He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God.  That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. (from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)  

I've never before read these words from this version of the Bible and this morning they really strike a cord.  I AM tired of the wating.  I AM "pregnant" - preparing to birth a new career as it were.  This is the second time that it looked like I'd be given the opportunity to step more fully into it, only to have the door closed after I had done most of the preparation.  God indeed knows my "pregnant condition" far better than I do.  While this "false labor" is frustrating, I DON'T want this baby birthed before its time! I am SO grateful for the promise that God's Spirit is right alongside helping me and that even if I don't know how or what to pray He does it in and for me. And I am SO grateful that I can know and trust that as I continue to focus on my love for my Heavenly Father and His guidance in my life, EVERY detail of my life is worked into something good. Thank you Father, for these promises this morning! Father, forgive me for my frustration and for forgetting that this is YOUR baby - not mine.  May YOUR will be done and may I be an open channel for your will.  Thank you that you understand my frustration at this "false labor" and yet are willing hold things back until the time is right!!!!  Thank you, Father, for your love for me.  Thank you so much for your guidance in my life!

I am caught by the visual of "false labor".  It seems VERY appropriate here!  I went searching on the web to see what I could learn about the reason for Braxon-Hicks contractions and found these musings by a mother who had been through it - possible reasons for what she refuses to call "false" labor.  They might:

• Make you learn to focus through them.
• Encourage you to practice breathing deeply and purposefully.
• Inspire you to get walking in order to trigger real labor.
• Help you practice ignoring minor pain.
• Tone your uterus and other wise help prepare for birth.
• Help rotate your baby into a more optimal position for birth.

I think of the promise that God's word does not return to him void, but accomplishes what he pleases (Isaiah 55:11).  And I am convinced that there IS a reason for everything.  I may not know what it is, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.  I choose to trust God - and am grateful that He exists and cares so much for me.

As I continue with my reading this morning, I return to the next section of Psalms 119:

"What you say goes, God, and stays, as permanent as the heavens. Your truth never goes out of fashion; it's as up-to-date as the earth when the sun comes up. Your Word and truth are dependable as ever; that's what you ordered — you set the earth going. If your revelation hadn't delighted me so, I would have given up when the hard times came. But I'll never forget the advice you gave me; you saved my life with those wise words. Save me! I'm all yours. I look high and low for your words of wisdom. The wicked lie in ambush to destroy me, but I'm only concerned with your plans for me. I see the limits to everything human, but the horizons can't contain your commands!" (Psalms 119:89-96 - from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)

These feel in some ways like my own words.  I am SO grateful that God is in charge, and that He reminds me of those things I need to remember. Father, as I read about the "wicked" who "lie in ambush to destroy me", I see beyond those humans "out there" that would like to see me stumble.  I see my own human self in those words.  It is easy for that humanness to ambush me and cause me to lash out when I don't feel others are treating me right - and I know doing so would seriously undermine me.  Thank you for keeping me from doing so last night! You did indeed save me with your wise words! May my words be understood in the spirit in which they were/are meant.  And, in truth, may ALL of me mean them in that spirit - a spirit of love and understanding - loving my neighbor as myself.  Father, please keep me from impatience.  It's so easy to try to peer ahead, trying to see what's around the corner.  I realize a big part of that is that I want to be prepared for it.  May I remember that I can trust you to prepare me for what lies ahead - that you see the way far more clearly than I ever could and that you love me.  Father, I think again of the words of Paul in his 2nd letter to Timothy: 

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." (2 Timothy 1:7 - Holy Bible, New Living Translation ®, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.)

I think of Timothy and what he faced.  He too was younger than many of those he worked with and had to be reminded by Paul to not let anyone despise him for his youth (1 Tim 4:12).  I realize this is part of what I, too, am dealing with - only it's not just other people that may try to despise me for my "youth" in this field, but my own self as well!  Father, I once again ask that you bring your perfect love to bear so that my fear is fully cast out!  May I hold myself in your power, your love, and the self-discipline that YOU give, this day - and every day!  Thank you, Father, so much for your love and protection!  I love you, Father.  Please keep me in your will and on your path!  Amen.

Thank you, God!

This morning I was once again reminded of the importance of gratitude as I read this passage:

Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. (I Thessalonians 5:17-18 KJV)

Sometimes my prayers tend to focus on requests - even if that request is simply to know and do God's will in my life.  It's too easy for me to forget gratitude.  I think of the story of the healing of 10 lepers told in Luke 17:12-19 - particularly the question that came when one of them came back to say thank you.  Jesus asked, "Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the nine?"  How often does my behavior raise a similar question in God's mind?  How often do I remember to say thank you for the many blessings of each day?

Father, again this morning I enter into your gates with thanksgiving and into your courts with praise (Psalms 100:4).  I am so grateful for your leading.  Thank you for opening doors for me and for sending such caring and supportive people into my life.  Thank you for life and health and strength.  Thank you for eyes to see, ears to hear, and a mind to reason.  Thank you for friends and family.  Thank you for material blessings - and for the even more important spiritual ones.  Most of all, Father, I am so grateful, for your love for me!  May I be an open channel of that love to those around me, today.

A Little Sleep

This post will be rather long, but I figure I haven't posted for several days, so I'll make up for it today. :)  For the last several days, I've been living a rather unusual experience with regard to sleep.  I usually try to get 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night, believing that to be the best thing to do for my health.  Lots of studies seem to confirm that amount of sleep as being important for health.  But starting Sunday night, my sleep experience has been quite different.  

Sunday afternoon I came across an opportunity that I wanted to take advantage of - but it required completion of a large project by Monday night. Could I do it? Past experience told me I'd be able to do it, but would need to work hard and probably wouldn't finish until some time Monday evening.  I somewhat half-heartedly checked in with God about it and didn't get a strong negative indication, so decided to go forward.  Frankly I'm not sure if I was really open to hearing God's voice on this matter or not, but the fact I was unusually energized for this project suggests it was indeed in His will.  While I usually try to be in bed by 9 or 10 pm, I found myself wide awake and working on this project until past 2 am.  When I realized what time it was I tried to go to bed, but sleep did not come easily.  I thought of something else related to the project that I figured I would forget if I didn't do something about it right away, so I got up and took care of that. I felt like I could keep going all night, but had reached a point where I needed input from others before I could finish.  I headed back to bed and finally drifted off to sleep sometime between 3 and 4 am - more like the time I ordinarily might be thinking of getting up.  

Fortunately, my work allows me to set my own schedule, so I figured to sleep in the next morning, but was awakened between 6 and 6:30 feeling wide awake.   I got up and went back to work on my project after getting the input I needed, and was able to complete it by 11 am - at least 10 hours before I expected to do so!  Now what?  I knew that under ordinary circumstances, if I miss sleep, it doesn't really hit me until the 2nd day - thus I could expect to feel quite tired on Tuesday. But I had activities planned for Tuesday that I didn't want to miss, so, I decided to try to nap a bit so I would be more likely to be able to participate on Tuesday. But, when I lay down, I just wasn't sleepy, so I got up and went back to work.  That night I went to bed knowing I REALLY needed to sleep!

But I only slept a few hours Monday night before being awakened again feeling wide awake and ready to take on the day.  By 9 am I was starting to feel drowsy, though, so I decided to skip my morning planned activity so I could take a nap and hopefully be awake for the more important evening activity - but again I couldn't sleep!  This is not like me.  I have often found that if I miss sleep at night, a nap during the day will refresh me!  Since I couldn't sleep, I busied myself with things, hoping I'd be okay through the rest of the day.  But sure enough - just like I expected, I began to feel very tired as the afternoon wore on.  As I had been prepared to do, I went to lie down - hoping to sleep so I'd be fresh for the evening's planned activity. But once again, sleep would not come and I got up again and went to work.  By evening, I was feeling tired enough that I decided not to attend the evening activity so I could get my sleep. I made arrangements to miss the activity, but once again, as soon as that decision had been made and regrets had been sent, I was wide awake and just went back to work.

Yesterday was more of the same.  I scheduled my day so I would be working at home and could nap if/when needed. But I didn't need to nap and worked until late last night.  This morning I am again wide awake and feeling foolish.  This week I cancelled several planned activities outside of the house so I could catch up on my sleep - and, though I felt occasional tiredness, I never was tired enough to nap, despite the lack of sleep Sunday night!  

This whole thing has just felt weird.  I had tried to be responsible about making up for my lost sleep, but it just didn't work as it had in the past.  Periodically I'd been seeking guidance about it all, but wasn't getting much of a response.  This morning as I was praying about it, the thought came that I could do a search through the bible for what it had to say about sleep - so I did.  I didn't find what I expected.

Certainly there were some verses that promised sleep - like this one from Proverbs 13:24 - "When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet."  But they mostly seemed focused on not being afraid.

More verses actually warned against sleep - like this one in Provers 20:13 - "Love not sleep, lest you come to poverty; open your eyes, and you will shalt be satisfied with bread."  And then there were the verses in Song of Solomon (chapter 5 verses 2-6) that talked about lying down to sleep, being awakened by the beloved's knock, taking too long to get dressed and open the door so the beloved was gone and she couldn't find him. And there were the stories in the gospels that talked about how Jesus warned the disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane that they should spend their time praying, but how they slept instead. (Matt 26:37-45; Mark 14:33-41; Luke 22:39-46).  I Thessalonians even seems to argue against sleep - "Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness. Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober." (I Thess 5:5-6).

Reading these passages through, I start to get a picture.  I've been worrying about getting caught up on my sleep instead of being open to God's still small voice when I can't sleep.  I think of the story of Samuel - how he was awakened from sleep because God had things to say to him. (I Sam chapter 3)  Instead of waiting too long to open the door like happened in the story in Song of Solomon, I want to be more like Samuel.  Today, I choose to say, "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening."

Father, I worry about so many things!  Thank you for reminding me that I can trust you. Whether it's sleep or things that seem more important - no matter what it is, I can trust you!  Just as I trust you for my daily bread, I can trust you for my daily sleep!  Father, may your will be done in my life!  If your will is for me to sleep, I will sleep.  If your will is for me to be awake, you will waken me.  May I be open to your guidance in this matter - and in all things.  When I am awakened, may I remember to say, "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening" instead of worrying about my need for sleep!  Thank you, Father.