Actions and Motivations

The ideas I was brought to today are not new ones - but we're told (Matthew 13:52) "He said to them, "Therefore every teacher of the law who has become a disciple in the kingdom of heaven is like the owner of a house who brings out of his storeroom new treasures as well as old.""  I guess this is both.  Old treasures showing up in a new way.

Today I was pondering a recent conversation where a friend mentioned the need to seek God's guidance to avoid a tendency to run ahead of Him.  I was reminded of Peter,  who seemed to have the tendency to act rashly and run ahead, so looked at some of those examples.  Here they are in the order in which they were brought to mind:

1) The first example was at Jesus' transfiguration where Peter suggested they could build 3 tabernacles - one for Jesus, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.  It's always struck me as a bit of an odd thing for him to have said, and yet each of the three records of this story (Matthew 17:1-9, Mark 9:2-9, Luke 9:28-36) contains a record of his suggestion.  As I read Matthew's account, I find just the bare facts - no hint of reasons for them.  Luke says that the disciples had fallen asleep and hints that perhaps Peter was half asleep and didn't know what he was saying.  Mark says that Peter says this because he didn't know what to say because they were all terrified.  This suggests to me that perhaps Peter's natural response to fear was to "do something - anything!".  A couple more stories come to mind in support of this idea.

2) The second one is when Jesus walked on the water (Matthew 14:22-34, Mark 6:45-53, John 6:16-21).  Mark & John's accounts don't mention Peter at all.  But Matthew describes not only how the frightened disciples are comforted by Jesus saying "It is I. Be not afraid", but goes on to tell us of Peter.  Peter says "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water."  We know the rest of the story - Jesus says "Come" and Peter starts to walk towards Him on the water - until he sees the wind and becomes afraid and starts to sink and has to call out for Jesus to save him.  Once again we see Peter experiencing fear and wanting to DO something. 

3) The third story is the one in the garden of Gethsemane when the mob has come to get Jesus and Peter draws his sword & cuts off someone's ear.  (Matthew 26:51-52,  Mark 14:47, Luke 22:49-51, John 18:10-11 - note that only John's account actually identifies it as Peter who cut off the ear). On this occasion we once again see Peter and the rest of the disciples being afraid - and once again Peter wants to "DO" something.

As I considered these stories, a couple of things stood out to me.  First was the fact that fear seemed often to be a motivating factor for impulsive actions.  I've noticed in my own life that when an action is motivated by fear, it is often not a good choice.  I also find that fear keeps me stuck and unable to make wise choices.  In 1 John 4:18 we are told that "perfect love casts out fear".  2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that God "did not give us a spirit of fear" (so where do you suppose that spirit came from?), and a repeated theme in the Bible is "Fear Not" (one example of this is Isaiah 41:10).   I love Psalms 34:4 - "I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears."  What a promise for these days with the covid-19 pandemic surrounding us!  Over the years I have learned to ask God to remove the fear in me whenever I notice it.  And particularly, when I seek to do His will, one of the first things I want to do is to ask God to remove any fear. 

The second thing that caught my attention in these stories about Peter, was about specifically asking for guidance.  I'm not sure if Peter really did this when he suggested building the tabernacles, but Matthew's account says he told Jesus "If you wish" so there's at least a little hint of a desire to do so.  There's no indication that Jesus answered him - and certainly they didn't stay to build tabernacles!  In the story of Jesus walking on the water, Peter DID ask.  It's also clear that he asked in part because he wasn't sure if it really was Jesus speaking to them about not being afraid.  In this case Jesus told him to go ahead and come to him (note that this didn't prevent his falling flat on his face as he noticed the wind!).  In the garden, Peter didn't ask at all - and ended up being reprimanded for his actions.  So for me, the take away here is that I want to make sure I ASK before taking an action I am considering - especially if I'm not clear on the source of the idea!  Based on these stories, I certainly don't want to move forward unless I sure that God is telling me to do so (though that may not keep me from falling flat on my face if I don't keep my eyes on Him!).

Father, as I continue to seek your guidance in my life, I once again ask that you remove all vestiges of fear from me, and that you make clear to me what your will is in each situation I face today.  I want to do Your will, Father!  I don't want to run ahead of you or step off the path you have for me.  Father, may I hear your voice clearly as we walk together today!  Please be my strength and my shield as you show me the way in which I should walk. 

Correction

Recently I posted about this page, but it has been bothering me.  I didn't correctly paraphrase the passage listed.  Then I compounded the problem by trying to cover up my mistake. The verse actually reads "I have been young, and now I am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, or his descendants begging bread." (Ps 37:25)  When I started the lettering, I wrote, "God does not forsake His people or let them beg for bread!"  But that's NOT what it says.  I knew that, so tried to fix it by adding the words "not even their descendants".  But in doing so, I was doing something we've been warned against - adding to the words of the Bible "Add not to His words, lest He reprove you, and you be found a liar." Prov 30:6.  I had to fix it!

Sometimes a person can easily fix a mistake, but this was not one that I could fix easily.  Fixing it would make my mistake very visible.  But sometimes that's exactly what we need to do - let our mistakes be visible.  This is especially true in our relationship with God, as I experienced once again this morning.

I have been scared.  Thursday when my husband, who has diabetes, tested his blood sugars they were much higher than we've seen them before.  Then yesterday, he woke up with a severe headache and was clearly fighting something as he had little energy and needed to sleep during the day.  (Though napping is normal for me, it is NOT for him.)  I myself was quite tired in the morning, but after napping and resting for awhile was feeling much better in the afternoon.  But my husband's health worried me - especially in the light of this covid-19 crises. Has he been infected?  Has he infected me? 

I was concerned for him, and I was concerned for myself.  He's a very independent person and has been responsible for cooking our meals since he retired.  To all of a sudden find myself needing to cook and take care of him felt overwhelming - especially at this time of not being able to shop as easily or as often.  How do I protect my own health while caring for him if it comes to that?  What if we both get really sick?  And how do I make sure my parents have the groceries they need if I can't shop for them?  Like I said, I was scared.  More than that, I was worried - anxious.  

I am often reminded of the verses in Philippians (chapter 4:6,7) "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  I wanted that peace!  I wanted to obey and not be anxious.  But the fact of the matter was that I WAS anxious!!!  I was tempted to just voice thanksgiving and praise to God in the hopes that that would remove my anxiety.  But that wasn't working.  I realized I just had to talk to God about the truth of my heart.  I WAS anxious.  I didn't want to be.  I wanted to trust fully in Him so I wouldn't be.  But I WAS anxious none the less.  As I talked with him and asked for him to give me that gift of faith (Eph 2:8), my anxiety was lifted and I was indeed filled with that peace that passes all understanding - almost immediately!  AMAZING!  Thank you, God!

All of a sudden I had a deeper understanding of those verses in 1 John 1:8,9.  "If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

I needed to confess my sin of anxiety to Him so that he could forgive me and cleanse me from it.  To pretend that I wasn't feeling that way was deceiving myself and making myself a liar.  And He was indeed faithful.  He forgave me and immediately removed that anxiety and replaced it with peace!  How?  I have no idea.  It goes far beyond my ability to understand.  All I know is the miracle occurred and I am grateful.

Father, thank you so much!  You are amazing!  How you can cleanse a heart of an emotion like fear or anxiety and replace it with peace is astonishing.  I am so grateful that you in your perfect love cast out fear because you KNOW how tormenting it is to feel fear!!! (1 John 4:18)  Thank you!!!!

And so, somehow, that took me back to this page and my mistake.  It wasn't okay to leave it as it was.  I had to fix it.  Even if that fix would be glaringly obvious!!!!  I make mistakes.  Some of them are easily fixed, some not so much.  Some are not very visible to others, some are glaringly obvious.  It doesn't matter.  What matters is that I confess my mistake, allow God to cleanse me, and make amends as I can.

Thank you, Father, for not condemning me, but for cleansing me instead!  Thank you for filling me with your peace this morning when I so desperately needed it. Thank you for such a clear demonstration of your love.