I CAN do it!

but he has told me, “My grace is all you need, because my power is perfected in weakness.”  - 2 Corinthians 12:9 ISV

Yesterday I awoke with this verse in my head.  I intended to blog about it, but didn't manage to do so.  This morning as I awakened, I remembered there had been something I wanted to blog about but couldn't remember what it was.  I asked God what it was and immediately this verse was once again in my head.  The miracle of that sudden recall was enough to send me directly to my blog to write about it - so here I am.

First the background for this story.  Toward the end of January I was approached about the idea of teaching a beginners class this summer.  Now, the truth for me is that teaching a beginner's class scares me much more than the higher level class I've been teaching. With a higher level class, there are certain assumptions I can make when teaching and because of this the teaching methods are different.  However, I knew that it was important to be open to the possibilities presented to me, so I indicated my willingness to teach the class and was told they would get back to me.

Months went by.  By mid-April I decided I better e-mail them about it because if we were going to advertise a summer class, the advertising needed to be in by early May.  Time passed and I received no reply to my e-mail.  I figured that meant it was not going to happen and I proceeded to begin making other plans.  Then, out of the blue, about a week ago, I received a phone call saying they thought there were enough students and we would need to start right away!  However, we were not available on the night they wanted to hold class, so it STILL wasn't certain.  They said they would check with the students about holding class on a different day, and check with other possible teachers and get back to me.  I heard back a couple of days ago that they indeed wanted me to teach the class starting this coming weekend!

My "to do" list for this week is already so long, with lots of out-of-the-ordinary commitments along with the normal ones - and our weekend is FULL with other commitments!  Though it was clear to me that I needed to be willing to start teaching right away because there was less time available for teaching the class than would be ideal anyway, I was terrified because of the lack of time to prepare.  I want to do a good job!  It was in this frame of mind that I asked for guidance and received the verse at the top of this post.  

To me it was God's voice clearly telling me that despite my feelings that I couldn't do it all, He was in charge and would be there for me.  And, in fact, I started to see how important it was at times for the task before me to feel "too big".  After all, if I felt I could do it, I might be tempted to rest on my laurels rather than turning to God for His strength and guidance!  As it is, I once again find myself thinking words like those of the prophet Jeremiah - "Father, I can't do this.  I'm new at this and don't have time to prepare."  God's answer to Jeremiah is also His answer to me:

"But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord. Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth." - Jeremiah 1:7-9 NIV

What a promise! I NEED those words in my mouth! Father, I am SO grateful for your promises!  As I ponder these things, I realize how much God has already prepared me for the task ahead.  Although I didn't  know if the class was a go or not, I spent most of the last week thinking through what would need to be taught and working on lesson plans.  Several times I started second guessing myself.  Why was I spending most of my time focused on something that I wasn't sure was going to happen when I had so many KNOWN things that needed attention?  But God's guidance was clear.  Whether I taught the class this summer or not, I WOULD be teaching such a class at some point so the time would not be wasted and it was what I was to do for now.  

Because of that focus, though plans are far from complete, I have a fair picture of what I need to do at the first few classes (despite on-going fear because some of the necessary teaching methods are so new to me).  Also, the weekend intensive I'll be attending this weekend will have a LOT of components designed specifically to help new teachers know how to teach beginners!  As always, God knew what needed to happen long before I did and ensured that I signed up for this weekend months ago!

I am grateful for God's promises and His work in my life.  It's true - I CAN do it, because:

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. - Philippians 4:13-14 ISV

Thank you, Father, for your guidance and direction in my life!  Thank you for your promises! Thank you for preparing me and giving me what I need to meet the tasks you have set before me!  Thank you for giving me peace and continued guidance as I take the steps you show me to take.  I ask that your will be done in my life, and that I be open to receiving your guidance clearly.  Thank you for working in me both to WILL and to DO of your good pleasure.  Amen.  

Circumcision

This morning, my reading brought me to one of those passages that can be so hard to understand:

At that time the Lord told Joshua, “Make for yourselves some flint knives and circumcise the Israelis who haven’t been circumcised yet.” So Joshua made some flint knives and circumcised the Israelis at Gibeath-haaraloth.  Joshua circumcised them because all of the males among the people who came out of Egypt—that is, all the warriors—had died during their journey through the wilderness following their departure from Egypt.  Although everyone who had left Egypt had been circumcised, nevertheless all the people born during the journey after their departure from Egypt had not been circumcised.  The Israelis traveled 40 years in the wilderness until the entire nation—that is, the warriors who had departed from Egypt—had perished because they hadn’t listened to the voice of the Lord. The Lord had promised them that he would not let them see the land that he had sworn to give us, a land that flows with milk and honey.  As a result, it was their descendants, whom he raised up to take their place, that Joshua circumcised. They had remained uncircumcised, because they had not been circumcised during their journey.  When the circumcision of the entire nation was complete, they remained in their places within the camp until they were healed. Then the Lord told Joshua, “Today I have rolled the disgrace of Egypt away from you.” That’s why that place is called “Gilgal” to this day.   Joshua 5:2-9 ISV

The practice of circumcision frankly seems rather barbaric.  Why did God require this of them? And what possible meaning does it have for me today?  One thing is certain. With all of their men disabled while they healed, this act would have been a major demonstration of faith as they were surrounded by enemies at the time!  

But if circumcision was so important, why not require it of the Gentiles in Paul's time? (Acts chapter 15 through 21). And why wasn't it done during the 40 years in the wilderness? One thing that strikes me is that IF some of these men decided to make inappropriate sexual advances towards someone, this would be a fairly visible sign of who they were and MIGHT help them make a different choice - though I'm not sure it really would or did.  Certainly, though at times a very visible sign of their covenant with God, it would not be visible under most circumstances.  

Why was the covenant just sealed between God and the men?  And just what was this covenant anyway?  I go back to the story of when circumcision was first prescribed by God.  Genesis chapter 17 tells the story of the covenant between God and Abraham and his descendants. 

The people were to:

• "live in constant awareness" that God was with them
• to be "blameless"
• and the males were to be circumcised

In turn, God promised to:

• make Abraham the father of many nations with many descendants - some of them kings.  
• to be their God
• and to give them the land of Canaan as an eternal possession
• and to give Abraham's 100 year old wife a son.

Though I can't say that I really understand the purpose behind the required circumcision, it certainly seems to be tied to the promise of the land of Canaan - and as such, very fitting in Joshua's day as they are so close to seeing the promise fulfilled.

I note that after the circumcision, God told Joshua, "Today I have rolled the disgrace of Egypt away from you.” Joshua 5:9 ISV  As I look up the meanings of the words in the original language, the meaning of the word "Egypt" jumps out at me.  It comes from the idea of "limitation".  And then I remember the verse from Jeremiah "Circumcise yourselves to the Lord and remove the foreskin of your heart" Jeremiah 4:4 ISV  Is this somehow what this is about?  What could the foreskin of the heart represent? And how does that relate to limitation symbolized by Egypt?

It strikes me that the heart often represents one's deepest beliefs, and that physically circumcising the males in Joshua's time was a clear act of faith - of putting their very lives in God's hand - as ALL of their soldiers were disabled for several days even though they were surrounded by enemies.  Perhaps in a similar way, circumcision of the heart represents excising doubts and acting on a deep-seated belief that God can be trusted.  This indeed moves us beyond limitation as we trust God and open to the possibilities presented as we allow Him to direct our paths.

Father, once again I hear those words in my heart, "Lord, I believe.  Help Thou mine unbelief!" (Mark 9:24).  May I no longer think or behave as though I still live in "Egypt", but instead remember that nothing is impossible with you (Matthew 17:20, Luke 1:37).  May those deep-seated beliefs in limitation that have been a part of my experience in the past be "circumcised" - fully removed so that I trust you fully to the very depths of my soul.  Father, thank you for the many experiences in recent months that have been such concrete demonstrations to me that nothing is impossible with you!  Thank you for the miracles I have seen so far and that I know You continue to perform for me daily.  You are an amazing God, and I am SO grateful!

Plans

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11-12 Holy Bible, New Living Translation ®, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.)

I am a "planner".  I like to know what I am doing in advance.  This often serves me very well.  For example, often when we travel, we see a lot more and don't waste our vacation time trying to figure out what to do, but can just do it!  There are other times, however when my planning doesn't work out so well.  Today is a case in point.

Early in the week I worked out plans with the teacher I am filling in for - plans for what we'd be teaching today.  Then yesterday afternoon she contacted me and changed those plans!  I had thought we were ready to teach today - suddenly we're not at all!  I understand her reasons and agree with them, but it's hard for me to have plans changed at the last minute like that - especially when it has to do with something where advanced preparation is needed and there's little time to do so! 

I actually found myself in tears last evening, as I just felt so overwhelmed with it all (and actually concerned that things might be a disaster because of my lack of time to prepare). But this morning I have to chuckle as God reminds me, "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning"! (Psalm 30:5)  It is true, and I am so grateful.   I still don't know exactly what we're teaching yet, but I KNOW who is in charge, and I can relax and experience the exhilaration of letting go and enjoying the ride.  Thank you, Father!

Situations like this can be SO hard for me, but it takes me right back where I belong - to the arms of my Savior.  Only he can see me through things like this!  This morning I am grateful for the promise I quoted above.  I know this change in plans is for my good (and the good of those around me), and I am grateful.  I am also reminded that the "joy of the Lord is your strength" (Nehemiah 8:10).

Father, thank you for the joy that you put in me.  The words of a song come to mind, "He keeps me singing a happy song, he keeps me singing it all day long . . . " Thank you for this promise, too, Father!  I know that in you I live and move and have my being and that your way is the path of joy.  You remind me of another verse, Father, "You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." (Psalms 16:11 NKJV)  Thank you, Father!  And you remind me of yet another verse, "For you shall go out with joy, And be led out with peace; The mountains and the hills Shall break forth into singing before you, And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands."  Isaiah 55:12 NKJV  Thank you, Father!!!! Thank you!  You bring me promise after promise this morning, and I am SO grateful.  Father, I DO trust you!  "Lord I believe, help thou mine unbelief"!  I know that you are working in me both to WILL and to DO of your good pleasure.  I am SO grateful, Father!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  I know you are guiding my thoughts as I go out from here to sort out what we will be teaching today.  I know you will be guiding our words and actions as we teach today.  And I thank you for it!  You are an amazing God, and I can never praise you enough.  Thank you is so adequate to express the fullness of my feelings, but Father, you know my heart, and you know what you have put within it.  Thank you for your miracles on my behalf, Father!  I love you!

Creation Day 6 Continued

Here, again, is the Bible story about day six - this time from the New King James Version:

"Then God said, "Let the earth bring forth the living creature according to its kind: cattle and creeping thing and beast of the earth, each according to its kind"; and it was so. And God made the beast of the earth according to its kind, cattle according to its kind, and everything that creeps on the earth according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.

Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

And God said, "See, I have given you every herb that yields seed which is on the face of all the earth, and every tree whose fruit yields seed; to you it shall be for food.  Also, to every beast of the earth, to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, in which there is life, I have given every green herb for food"; and it was so.  Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good. So the evening and the morning were the sixth day."(Genesis 1:24-31 NKJV)

As I started looking at this passage again this morning, I started once again to look up meanings of words, but found myself looking at some words I THOUGHT I fully understood - the ones translated "and God saw that it was good".  I first looked up the word translated "saw" and discovered it meant "to see" in MANY applications, "direct and implied, transitive, intransitive and causative".  That word "causative" jumped out at me.  Then I looked up the word "that" and saw something similar: "indicating causal relations of all kinds". The word "good" comes from a root word meaning "to be do or make good" (emphasis mine).  This simple statement, "God saw that it was good", implies causation!  This strikes me two ways:

1. The way God looks at things CAUSES them to be good!  In other words, He approaches His observations from a positive standpoint, looking for the good in them.  How often do I do the opposite?  How often when I look at something I've created, do my eyes focus on the flaws?  It's easy to make excuses, telling myself that God's creation was perfect so of course He couldn't focus on the flaws.  But He knew what was coming!  He knew what was going to happen to His beautiful creation and the downward spiral things would take.  That IS NOT what He focused on.  Am I willing to make a similar choice and focus on the good?
2. God wasn't just looking at creation and saying it was good.  It appears He was also telling Himself, "I did a good job" - appreciating not only what had been created, but that He had been the one to create it!  I've often thought that to appreciate that I had a hand in creating something beautiful was to become prideful and was bad, but here I see God doing it. Obviously there must be a difference between appreciating something one has done well and becoming prideful.  As I think about this, I realize that as I've observed life, I've seen that often those who seek the attention of others to compliment their work - those who seem prideful - are in fact often the opposite.  They don't have faith in their own abilities, so seek praise from others.  Perhaps as I acknowledge the things I do well, knowing God has given me the abilities that I have, I can simply be grateful and not seek the approval of others.  It also reminds me that I can appreciate and acknowledge those things that I see are "good" that others have done and express my appreciation for that, too.

I haven't gotten nearly as far as I expected in looking at day six, but I feel I have my food for thought for this day.  It's time, and past time, for me to look at what I've created thus far and recognize that it is good.  There are aspects that have been discouraging.  Things haven't always gone as easily as I had hoped or come together the way I expected.  But I know that "all things work together for good" (Romans 8:28) and I can look for that good!  I can appreciate what's been accomplished - what I've accomplished.

Thank you, Father.  I know that "every good and perfect gift" comes from you (James 1:17), and that includes any abilities I am discovering that I have.  You created me and I am dissing YOUR work when I denigrate myself!  Forgive me!  Since I KNOW all things work together for good, I can also KNOW that there is a reason for the challenges I've faced and the seemingly blocked roads and wasted effort. I can KNOW that what you are creating in me is VERY GOOD, because that is the kind of creator you are!  I can even see some hints about what the reasons might be for some of these things, but I know your plans are far beyond anything I can imagine.  And I know your plans for me are for my good (Jeremiah 29:11), and that you give good gifts to your children (Matt 7:11).  Thank you that you are my Father! I am so grateful to have your guidance! I once again ask that your will be done in my life, and I thank you, Father!  Please work in me as I move forward in this day, that all may be according to YOUR plan, for then I know indeed it will be VERY GOOD! 

Creation Day 4

"Then God said, "Let there be lights in the sky to separate day from night. These lights will be used for signs, seasons, days, and years. They will be in the sky to give light to the earth." And it happened.

So God made the two large lights. He made the brighter light to rule the day and made the smaller light to rule the night. He also made the stars. God put all these in the sky to shine on the earth, to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. God saw that all these things were good. Evening passed, and morning came. This was the fourth day."  (Genesis 1:14-19 - NCV)

According to Strong's Concordance, the word translated "lights" figuratively means cheerfulness.  As I seek to understand how this story might apply to my life today, I LOVE the idea of God creating spots of cheerfulness to "rule" our days and nights!  These lights were put in the "sky" - that boundary that can symbolize a boundary between negative and positive emotions (see previous post about day 2) - to shine on the earth (that firm foundation discovered on day 2 as a result of dealing with our "negative" emotions). 

It always interests me when I come across a word whose meaning in the original language is quite different than what I expect.  This time, it's the word translated "seasons". The created lights are to be used for signs, seasons, days, and years (emphasis mine). When I think of season, I think of summer, fall, winter, & spring - the four seasons.  But this is not really the focus of the original word, though our four seasons could certainly fit within the definition.  The original word means an "appointment". It is applied to meetings (including the people there and the place they meet), and to festivals - especially those commemorating a specific event - like celebrating an anniversary of it.  It can even mean a preplanned signal.

These lights, these spots of cheerfulness, were to RULE over the day and over the night, to separate the light (word has a wide variety of figurative meanings, including happiness) from the darkness (word includes the ideas of misery, sorrow, and ignorance), and to serve as reminders of appointments, anniversaries of important events, and the recurring cycle of time (days & years). 

As I ponder all these things, thoughts begin to come:

• Do I allow spots of cheerfulness to rule my days and nights?  Or am I more likely to allow spots of doom and gloom to do so?  What is the focus of my attention?  Father, I DO want to focus my attention on those things of "good report" (Phil 4:8), on those spots of cheerfulness. I DO want to allow THEM to rule my day as you intended.  Thank you, Father!
• While the moon and stars are not as luminous as the sun, and the night can seem very dark at times, there are always these lights, these spots of cheerfulness, if I am willing to look for them.  If a cloud is covering them, I can be patient until it passes and allows me to see them once again.
• These lights were to "separate" (or distinguish) the light from the darkness.  Once again I see an emphasis on separating negative and positive emotions and am reminded of what I saw with regard to the 2nd day of creation.  I realize that in my own experience, at times it is far too easy to allow negative emotions to cloud everything and becoming all-consuming, but that is not meant to be.  There are always "spots of cheerfulness" designed to remind me that all is not doom and gloom. They are to separate out those dark nights of the soul, from the full light of day and the happiness it can bring.  They can serve to remind me that no matter how dark things seem, the morning is coming when I can experience happiness in the full light of day.  
• I think about some of the spots of cheerfulness I've experienced recently as the new creation in me is unfolding. One night in particular comes to mind. I needed to do something that I REALLY didn't want to do.  I was feeling out of sorts and the thought of putting myself out there and interacting with people the way I knew I needed to do was really challenging.  I didn't want to do it, but I prayed about it and felt pretty clearly that I needed to get out there regardless of how I was feeling.  I prayed for energy and a more positive outlook as I stepped forward to what I was being called to do.  Long story short, as I did so, God spoke through those I interacted with, lifting my spirits in an amazing way, and I am still feeling the effects several days later.  Those very interactions I was wanting to avoid turned out to be those spots of cheerfulness God was sending to keep the "night" of my emotions from overwhelming me!
• I think about how these lights were meant to be signs.  This reminds me to make better note of those spots of happy cheerfulness in my days, and to ask what God is indicating through them.  If they are meant to serve as guidance, I don't want to miss it!  This also remind me that God's will is designed to bring happiness. "For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for well-being, and not for calamity, in order to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11-12 ISV)
• I think of how these lights were for "seasons" or appointments, and this reminds me of the verse I've been holding to for some weeks now "Seven times each day I stop and shout praises for the way you keep everything running right." (Psalms 119:164 - The Message Bible)  These spots of cheeriness can remind me that God is indeed in control and can serve as a reminder of the need to stop and praise God  - to keep that appointment, if you will.
• And I think about how these lights were "for days and for years".  This is not just short-term, but long-term as well.  The light I receive today not only illuminates my current experience, but will continue to illuminate things for me as days become years.  As they light the "earth", that firm foundation God is creating in my experience, I better understand any seemingly negative experiences as they are illuminated by God's light of love (see day 2).  This not only helps lift my spirits in the moment, but gives me experience that better grounds me in God's love and serves as an important reminder for the future when things look dark.

Father, thank you for your light! Thank you for the happiness you bring! Thank you for increased understanding of the path ahead as you light my way.  Thank you that your plans ARE for my well being!  Thank you for the joy you put in me!  I DO praise you for the way you keep everything running right.  I am so encouraged by the way you've brought me to understand my next steps and keep unfolding your plan for me.  Father, it is so exciting to be a part of this new venture!  Thank you for those lights that have allowed me to begin to experience the excitement, rather than just fear.  Your light really HAS separated that light (enthusiasm and excitement) from the darkness (fear).  Where once all I saw was fear, I now see so much good!  Thank you, Father!  Thank you for your continued guidance this day as I step forward into my tasks for this day. I am SO grateful for it!  Truly you are "my light" and the "strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalms 27:1) Thank you, Father.  It is so amazing the way you cast out my fear! (I John 4:18) I am SO grateful! Amen.

Going Public

This morning I'm looking at the next set of verses of Psalms 119 from several different Bible versions.  They seem so different, I figure there's lots of food for thought in a comparison:

Let your love, God, shape my life with salvation, exactly as you promised;  Then I'll be able to stand up to mockery because I trusted your Word.  Don't ever deprive me of truth, not ever —  your commandments are what I depend on.  Oh, I'll guard with my life what you've revealed to me, guard it now, guard it ever;  And I'll stride freely through wide open spaces as I look for your truth and your wisdom;  Then I'll tell the world what I find, speak out boldly in public, unembarrassed.  I cherish your commandments — oh, how I love them! —  relishing every fragment of your counsel. (Psalms 119:41-48 - from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)

"Let your blessings reach me, O Lord. Save me as you promised. Then I will have an answer for the one who insults me since I trust your word. Do not take so much as a single word of truth from my mouth. My hope is based on your regulations. I will follow your teachings forever and ever. I will walk around freely because I sought out your guiding principles. I will speak about your written instructions in the presence of kings and not feel ashamed. Your commandments, which I love, make me happy. I lift my hands in prayer because of your commandments, which I love. I will reflect on your laws." (Psalms 119:41-48 - from GOD'S WORD Copyright © 1995 by God's Word to the Nations Bible Society. All rights reserved.)

"Let Your mercies come also to me, O Lord — Your salvation according to Your word.  So shall I have an answer for him who reproaches me, For I trust in Your word.  And take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth, For I have hoped in Your ordinances.  So shall I keep Your law continually, Forever and ever.  And I will walk at liberty, For I seek Your precepts. I will speak of Your testimonies also before kings, And will not be ashamed. And I will delight myself in Your commandments, Which I love. My hands also I will lift up to Your commandments, Which I love, And I will meditate on Your statutes."  (Psalms 119:41-48 NKJV)

 Here are some of the things I see:

• Blessings - It's okay to ask for God's blessings and claim His promises! It seems selfish, but He has asked me to do this.  He WANTS me to bring my needs and desires to Him!  Though it may seem selfish, it provides a demonstration for those who would mock me or reproach me because of my belief in God.  Thank you, God!
• Ability to stand up to mockery - Trusting His word enables me to stand firm in the face of challenge or outright mockery. Knowing He can be depended on and knowing the depth of His love makes everything so much easier! Thank you, God!
• Salvation - This is one of those words whose meaning has been muddied for me by old tapes and religious rhetoric. If I go back to what the word REALLY means - saving me - it is such a beautiful promise.  I am saddened as I realize how much the word salvation for me has been tainted with overtones of its opposite so that the very word brings up images of being lost because of somehow not seeking salvation correctly and thus fear of not receiving "salvation".  But when I think of God "saving" me, a whole different picture emerges.  I KNOW I can trust God.  The whole idea of needing saving is based in KNOWING I don't deserve it, but that God loves me and has promised to cover me with his wings and save me! Thank you, Father! I am SO grateful for your love and your salvation.  Thank you also for your patience with me.  Thank you for transforming me into a new creature in you so that these old tapes will no longer control my understanding!
• Commandments/God's Law - This is another concept that has been so muddied for me!  I've been told I must abide by God's law to be saved - and that this is impossible to fully do!  What a terrible place that leaves me in!  It's no wonder that the idea of loving God's commandments and God's law seems like a challenging concept to me.  It seems strange, but as I think of human laws, I begin to be able to appreciate God's laws better.  When I consider human laws, I understand they are SUPPOSED to be designed for my protection - essentially to protect those in society from others that might try to cause them harm.  With human laws, this principal is not always adhered to, but I can trust God's laws to be truthful and fair!  What a concept.  God's laws are not meant as some onerous statute I can never live up to, but are designed for my protection!!!!  Suddenly studying them ceases to fill me with dread, and instead fills me with HOPE!!!!  Thank you, Father!  Forgive me for my misunderstandings of your character and your love.  Forgive my lack of trust that has caused me to assume poor motivations on your part!  Thank you for your protection of me and your willingness to take the time to give me these guidelines for living!  May I understand these things more and more so that I can fully say with the Psalmist, "I will delight myself in your commandments which I love", and "my hope is based on your regulations"!  Thank you, Father.
• Going Public - The idea of going public about God's laws and speaking before kings about them feels a bit daunting, but understanding that they are really GOOD NEWS helps banish those fears.  One of the things I think about is that sometimes people can be intimidated by position.  As a child of the Heavenly King, I need not be intimidated by earthly kings or other powerful people to whom I might find myself speaking - their power pales in comparison to that of my Heavenly Father! I am reminded of the promise in Jeremiah, "Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the Lord." (Jeremiah 1:8 KJV), and the one in Mark: "When they take you away to hand you over to the authorities, don't worry ahead of time about what you will say. Instead, say whatever is given to you to say when the time comes. Indeed, you are not the one who will be speaking, but the Holy Spirit will." (Mark 13:11 - from GOD'S WORD Copyright © 1995 by God's Word to the Nations Bible Society. All rights reserved.)  Thank you, Father!

Father, as I continue to think about Your teachings, Your laws, and Your way of life, I continue to ask for You to guide my thoughts and my understanding.  Thank you for helping me to understand that this is all GOOD NEWS!  Thank you for helping me to remember that I can rely on Your love, and Your many promises.  Thank you for saving me - including from my own old tapes and foolish notions about you!  Thank you for your protective guidance.  I love you, Father!

A Baby?

This morning I awakened with a vivid dream that felt like it was in direct response to a prayer request for guidance. In my dream, I suddenly realized I was pregnant.  A few minutes later I had given birth to a baby girl.  I hadn't even realized I was pregnant until just before giving birth!  What was this dream all about?   I wasn't entirely sure.  Thinking about the baby, I looked for where the Bible talked about them.  I was reminded of a passage I had read earlier this week:

"A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world." (John 16:21 NIV)

The thought comes.  Where in my life am I in the process of giving birth to something?  Am I experiencing pain and fear as I seek to move into something new in my life?  This is a promise to me that the process will be worth it! 

As I think more on this, I realize that the challenge in the birth process that I'm experiencing right now is not pain, but fear.  And I remember that in my dream there was no pain either.  But I was afraid - not of the birth process itself, but of what people were going to say about me and my baby. Another verse comes to mind - this time from Jeremiah:

But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord.  (Jer 1:7,8 NIV)

It is SO hard to step forward into something new where I know whatever happens will be very visible to others.  But God counsels me to not be afraid of them and to do what He calls me to do without pleading inexperience.  Scary - but remember, I've been promised that it will be worth it!

Father, thank you for understanding my fears and gently reassuring me.  May I continue to step forward as you would have me do.  I am grateful for your gentle guidance as I yoke with you.