Journeys & Destinations

Today as I continued with my Bible art journaling, I realized something.  I've often heard folks talk about how it is the "journey, not the destination" that counts.  Of course, destinations DO count, but I'm beginning to understand that too often I let my concerns about the destination get in the way of enjoying the journey.  

I'm sure the page in the picture above looks somewhat familiar - but there are certainly differences between this and what I posted yesterday.  I'm finding that often, even when I THINK that a particular piece is complete, it isn't.  Already there have been several pages that I added to after posting them.  In this context, a text from Deuteronomy stood out to me today:

". . . the Lord your God, who went ahead of you on your journey, in fire by night and in a cloud by day, to search out places for you to camp and to show you the way you should go."  Deut 1:32, 33, NIV

Just like God guided the Israelites, He wants to guide me.  But even with God directing me, I won't always reach my destination immediately.  In those cases, He searches out places for me to camp along the way.  I think what happened yesterday was a good example of that.  I THOUGHT I was done with that particular journaling piece - but I wasn't!  It was just a camping spot before I continued my journey.

This is such an important life lesson for me!  I have a terrible time with time management sometimes.  Too often, I find myself stuck in one of three ways of doing things that don't serve me well:

1. I get so focused on completing a task, that everything else goes by the wayside.  I may get that specific task completed, but I haven't fixed proper meals for myself, haven't kept up with things around the house, haven't taken time to relax, etc. etc.    OR
2. I get so overwhelmed with trying to figure out how to do EVERYTHING that I quit before I start and don't get anything done!
3. I just give up and work on what is most appealing to me - regardless of whether or not it is most important in the moment.

Sometimes, I bounce back and forth between these approaches - starting with method 2 or 3 until something is time critical, and then moving to method one - burning the midnight oil as needed to finish what needs to be done.  Even when actively seeking God's guidance for my day, I too often get caught by the first thing He leads me to and focus so intently that I forget to listen to Him regarding when it is time to "camp" regarding that project.  

Father, thank you for your goodness to me and your willingness to guide me.  May I have ears that hear your direction and a willing heart to follow your lead.  May I listen to ALL the instructions - not just the first one! :)  Thank you for your patience with me.  Please lead me this day.  Father you know everything that I need to accomplish (and you know those things which really DON'T need doing too!).  I trust you to guide me to those things most important for me to accomplish this day - including not just the many "tasks" I see need to be done, but also things like spending time with you, taking care of personal things, taking time to relax.  Father, I know you know about the physical healing I need in my life, and I hear your words from Isaiah 58:8 "Your healing shall spring forth speedily".  Thank you, Father!  I am so grateful for your love.  I love you, Father!

Good Gifts

Looking at Romans 8:28 the last couple of days, took me to Matthew 7:11 today.  I guess it's really verses 9-11 where Jesus makes it clear that God gives GOOD gifts to his children.  Because this verse is just a very small portion of the very powerful "Sermon on the Mount" that Jesus gave, I knew there would be many more things I wanted to journal about on this page, so decided to just do a very simple piece for this verse, leaving room for others.  (In fact, I was so sure I'd want to illustrate a lot of chapters 5-7 of Matthew that I prepped all pages from Matthew 4:9 to Matthew 7:16 with Gesso so they'd be ready when I was!) You can't see it very well in the picture, but this entry is quite sparkly, with sparkles highlighting not only the gift, but also the words "GOD", "GOOD", and "LOVE", which I see as the focal points of this passage.

I'm so enjoying doing this sort of artistic illustration of the Bible texts!  Sometimes, I think that we as humans tend to think that if it's fun, it must be WRONG!  To me, this verse makes it clear that my Father God wants me to ENJOY life - especially my time with Him.  I'm reminded of several other verses that tell me something similar - "Oh taste and see that the Lord is GOOD" (Psalms 34:8), several verses that indicate that God wants me to rejoice before Him (Deut 26:11, Philippians 4:4 & several others) and several verses that talk about Jesus wanting our joy to be "full" (for example, John 15:11, John 16:24).

Father, I am SOOOO grateful that you are such a loving father!  I am SOOOO grateful that you give GOOD gifts!  Thank you for your love, for the creative spark you've put within me, and the fun we are having together as I explore this new type of experience with you.  I love you, Father!

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Materials used: 

• Gesso - Art Basics Clear Gesso - applied with Ranger mini-applicator
• Blue - Distress ink applied with a water brush
• Silver - Perfect Pearls applied with a water brush
• Black -Stazon Ink & stamps (JustRite "Holiday Cheer Ornaments", Stampabilities mounted stamp)
• Glitz - Wink of Stella (on package, the word "good" in the text, and the words "GOD", "GOOD", and "LOVE")
  

Grateful for Weakness???

This morning, I was reminded of a verse that was brought to me a few weeks back (see post "God's Strength"):

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Corinthians 12:9 - KJV)

As I watched myself this past week make some poor choices about what I was eating, I was reminded of some basic spiritual principles I've learned to apply in other areas of my life. I was thinking particularly of the financial/material realm where there are two principles that became quite important as I sought God's healing of my belief in lack instead of in His abundance. The first was the concept of being grateful in all things and the second was the principle of tithing to where I was being spiritually fed. I've come to believe that I'm being told to apply these lessons to my diet/health issues, and I've found it to be quite challenging.

Be Grateful in All Things: (Ephesians 5:20 - "Giving thanks always for all things unto God"; I Thessalonians 5:18 - "In every thing give thanks").  This advice sounds good at first glance, but it can be really difficult to apply in daily life.  You mean I'm to give thanks that I chose to eat that 2nd piece of pie or all those potato chips?  My habit has been to beat myself up about stuff like that.  How can I give thanks for something I wish I didn't do???? 2 Corinthians 12:9 has the answer - God's strength is made perfect in my weakness.  My clear weakness when it comes to certain food choices requires me to turn to God because I know that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 NKJV  Clearly I can gain the victory in no other way.  So, am I willing to "glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me"?  Am I willing to truly be grateful in all things, trusting Him to heal me?  And am I willing to turn my focus from myself and my failings to God and His strength?  I've seen the power of applying this principle in my financial life -- learning to focus my attention on the abundance coming my way instead of on the things I didn't have.  Now is the time to apply this principle to another part of my life - my diet and health.

Tithing: As I thought about applying spiritual principles I learned in the financial realm to the realm of diet and health, the other major principle I'd learned came to mind - that of tithing.  But how to apply it? My first thought was that giving a tenth of my food to the poor might be a way to do this - or perhaps a more conscious gifting of meals where I invite others into my home. But then I remembered what I learned in the financial realm -- the idea of tithing to where I've been spiritually fed to support those who serve as channels for God to feed me spiritually (these were the Levites in Biblical times).  Learning to do this has been such a HUGE blessing to me in the financial realm!  It required me to NOTICE where I was being spiritually fed and find a way to tithe there. God has SO MANY channels through which to feed me! Sometimes my spiritual food came in the traditional way, from a pastor at church, but often it came from other places - people I encountered in daily life that inspired me to grow spiritually, lessons from nature, a song that suddenly spoke to me.  I became quite creative in finding ways to tithe to some of these less obvious places where I had been spiritually fed.

So how does this tithing principle apply with regard to food choices?  How can I apply the concept of tithing specifically to food?  This is going to require prayerful consideration.  I really don't yet know the answer, but I'm looking forward to learning it! 

I am reminded of a passage found in Deuteronomy 14:22-29 that specifically speaks of the tithe of food (though it can also probably be considered regarding all tithe since at the time incomes would pretty much have come from farming):

"Be sure to tithe annually from everything you plant that yields a harvest in the field. Then in the presence of the Lord your God, in the place where he’ll choose to establish his name, you may consume the tithe of your grain, your new wine, your oil, and the firstborn of your livestock and flock, so that you’ll learn to revere the Lord your God all your life. Now the way may be distant from you, so that you are unable to transport your tithe because you have been blessed by the Lord your God and the place where the Lord your God chooses to establish his name may be distant from you.  In that case, convert it into cash, secure the money, and then bring it to the place where the Lord will choose. You may spend the money to your heart’s content to buy livestock, flocks, wine, strong drink, and whatever you desire. You and your household may eat there and rejoice in the presence of the Lord your God.  But you must not forget the descendant of Levi in your town, because there is no tribal allotment for him as there is for you. Every third year, bring all the tithes of your produce of that year and store them in your cities so the descendants of Levi—who have no tribal allotment as you do—foreigners, orphans, and widows who live in your cities may come, eat, and be satisfied. That way, the Lord your God will bless you in everything you do.”  ISV

Here it seems that two out of every three years, the annual tithe was to be set aside and used to provide for a spiritual retreat and feasting for the family. Can you imagine consuming a 10th of the annual crops all at once? Even if your retreat lasted for a couple of weeks and you DID share it with the Levites and anyone else around you, that would be a LOT of food!

Every third year it was to be stored to feed the local priests, foreigners, orphans and widows. This idea is repeated in Deuteronomy 26:12-13:

"Every third year you must offer a special tithe of your crops. In this year of the special tithe you must give your tithes to the Levites, foreigners, orphans, and widows, so that they will have enough to eat in your towns." Holy Bible, New Living Translation ®, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.

Can you imagine what life would be like if everyone did this? Hunger would be wiped out!  This has all given me much food for thought. One of the things I've come to understand is how much the disease of overeating is based in selfishness and self-seeking and it seems clear that practicing tithing can help us learn to be less selfish. Perhaps that's the real point here. Can I approach food and eating from a totally unselfish perspective?  Am I willing to give of my food to others?   Even those favorite foods that I might be tempted to keep for myself? How often do I want what I want instead of seeking to support what others want when it comes to food?  I know that when I allow myself to be selfish in one area of my life, it starts to creep into other areas as well.  In the same way, when I practice unselfishness in one area, it begins to change other areas as well.  It seems to me that I am being given an opportunity here to practice unselfishness.

Father, thank you for your guidance!  I know you will continue to guide me as I continue to think about these things and seek your will.  Father, it's clear I need your power in my life.  I can't make healthy food choices on my own, but my body is YOUR temple and I want to keep it clean and healthy for you.  I look for Your strength to be made perfect in my weakness - for your power to flow through me and your will to hold sway in my life.  May things of the material world - including food - hold no more sway over me. May these bonds be broken that I may be free to live in a healthy way as you would have me do. You know my weaknesses better than I do.  And I know Your strength!  Thank you for working your will in my life this day and for the miracles I've seen you work to help me make more healthy choices.  Thank you, Father! 

Courage

For the last couple of days I have been battling fear and discouragement.  I messed up recently in a public way and it's been really hard to remain enthusiastic about my new endeavors because of it.  It's not only embarrassing, but that negative voice in my mind starts telling me, "See, you can't do it.  Who do you think you are? Why are you putting yourself through this?"  It can be SO hard to ignore that voice sometimes!  This has been a real matter of prayer as I've struggled with my feelings.  

This morning I awoke with a quote in my mind.  It's one I found one day as I was working on my paper crafting and it says, "Courage doesn't always ROAR. . . . Sometimes it is the quite voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'". (Mary Anne Rodmacher)  I feel so grateful.  God knows how fragile my ego is right now and how difficult it is for me to keep putting myself out there, and has given me words of encouragement through this quote.  So often I think of courage as facing something big, but I think perhaps it is harder - and more important - to develop that courage that simply says in the midst of discouragment, "I will try again tomorrow." And that is what I am being called to do today.

God continues to encourage me this morning through a verse in Deuteronomy:

"Be strong and courageous. Don't tremble! Don't be afraid of them! The Lord your God is the one who is going with you. He won't abandon you or leave you." (Deuteronomy 31:6 - from GOD'S WORD Copyright © 1995 by God's Word to the Nations Bible Society. All rights reserved.)

I KNOW that for whatever reason, this is the work He has called me to do at this time.  This verse reminds me of that and that He won't abandon me.  Yet it is SO hard to let go of my fears!  I rely once again on the promise that God's perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18) and I seek to be filled with that love so there is no room left for fear. Please, Father, fill me with your love!

I am reminded once again that He that hath begun a good work in me will see it to completion (Phil 1:6), and of the importance of perseverance: 

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith . . ." (Hebrews 12:1-2 NIV)

Today, one of those sins that so easily entangles me is perfectionism.  When I give it space in my thoughts, I find myself too easily discouraged and wanting to give up - and it keeps me thinking about myself instead of keeping my eyes on Jesus where they belong!  I am once again directed to the words in James:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."  (James1:2-8) NIV

Or as the The Message Bible puts it:

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open. (from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)

So, Father, this morning I thank you for your many gifts - including the opportunity to learn perseverance as I face my embarassment that I couldn't be perfect the other night.  I didn't realize  how little it can take to make me want to give up sometimes!  I am embarrassed as I see that. This experience has indeed forced my faith-life into the open and it clearly is still closer to that mustard-seed size than the healthy tree that it is meant to grow into.  Thank you for this opportunity, Father, to grow my faith.  Father, too many times I really don't know what I'm doing.  I once again thank you for the guidance and support you have sent my way and that I know you will continue to send.  May I be freed from my worry and fully open to your leading in my life!  Thank you for the promise that as I let perseverence do it's work, I will become "mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way!" Thank you, Father!  And now, as I move forward into my day I ask for your courage and strength to vanquish these demons of fear and insecurity and to do with all my might the task that you have set before me this day.  Thank you, Father!  I thank you for your many gifts and especially right now for each bit of encouragement and strength you have sent my way.  I love you, Father.

With All My Might

Lately I've been working really long hours.  The current task on my plate is a big one and I feel an urgency to get it finished.  Each day I've worked from sun up (or earlier) to sun down (or later), often with few breaks.  Doing this has meant I've made rapid progress (though there is still a long way to go), but I've worried about being so focused on one basic task.  Yesterday as I awoke - and again this morning - a verse from Ecclesiastes was on my mind:

"Whatever presents itself for you to do, do it with all your might"  (Eccl 9:10 - from GOD'S WORD Copyright © 1995 by God's Word to the Nations Bible Society. All rights reserved.)

Though I continued to ask for guidance for my day, I hadn't even been fully aware that I had been worried about my nearly single focus, and whether it was God's will for me to be so concentrated on one main thing, until this verse kept coming to mind!  God is SO good!  I am so grateful for His gentle leading in my life and that before we call, He answers! (Isaiah 65:24) 

As I ponder this, another verse comes to mind that talks about using all my strength - "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength."  (Deut 6:5  NCV)  Jesus said this is the "first and greatest commandment". (Matt 22:38  NIV)  This is my most important task - loving God with all of me.  And this reminds me that as long as I am asking the question and seeking God's guidance, I can rest fully in Him, knowing He will re-direct me if or when needed.

Thank you, Father, for your reassurance and love! Thank you for that peace promised in Isaiah 26:3 - "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." Thank you for health and strength as I continue my work, and that as I see my tasks to completion, you are seeing your work in me to completion. (Phil 1:6)  I love you, Father!

What Do You Hear?

Have you ever been driving and so busy talking or thinking that you suddenly realize you're about to drive past the exit you meant to take? Today I was thinking about how often I go through my day only semi-conscious.  I want to live in constant conscious contact with God, but too often, I am like that driver - too busy talking or thinking to hear that still small voice within. This is part of why spending focused daily time with God is so valuable. It trains me to listen. But I still have a long way to go to reach the goal of CONSTANT CONSCIOUS contact with God.

As I was thinking about this, I remembered the Bible talked about people who have "eyes and do not see and ears and do not hear". This clearly describes me when I'm walking around only partially aware because of being so focused on my own thoughts. There are several passages in the Bible that mention this (including Is 6:9,10; Jer 5:21), but I chose to look at the passage in Mark chapter 8.  In this passage, Jesus has just fed the 4000 and then after a short boat trip, ended up dealing with some Pharisees who wanted to argue with him and question him and get him to give them a sign to test him. After finally getting away from them, he got back into the boat and headed to to the other side of the lake.

As they were riding in the boat, the disciples were worrying about food because they realized they only had one loaf of bread with them.  Jesus kept telling them, "Look out; keep on your guard and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod and the Herodians."  The word translated leaven, specifically means "ferment (as if boiling up)", and often refers to yeast.  So the disciples, discussing His words among themselves, decided He was talking about the fact that they didn't have enough bread with them! 

It's pretty easy for me to condemn the disciples for this. After all, they had just witnessed the feeding of the 4000! How could they think he was worried about not having enough bread?  Jesus himself clearly thought they could have understood better.  He said to them, "Why are you reasoning and saying it is because you have no bread? Do you not yet discern or understand? Are your hearts in hardness? Having eyes, do you not see, and having ears do you not hear and perceive and understand the sense of what is said? and do you not remember?" (verses 17 & 18). He went on to ask them how many leftovers they collected after the feeding of the 5000, and how many after the feeding of the 4000, and verse 21 says, "And He kept repeating, Do you not yet understand?"

And yet, when I'm honest with myself, I have to admit how often I behave just like the disciples did.  I'm so worried about my own mundane concerns, that I forget that I know a God of miracles! Whether it's something physical like seeing a miracle unfold in my life, or something spiritual like a new idea unfolding in my understanding, I can so easily forget God's power and think I have to go it alone! Worse yet, I miss what God is trying to teach me in the present moment as I mull over my concerns of the day.  How foolish I am!  How often does God have to keep saying to me, "Do you not yet understand?"

Looking back over the story again, I see so many parallels.  With my eating challenge, often my thoughts are on food, just like the disciples were.  How often do these thoughts drown out that still small voice?  When I DO hear that voice, how long do I remember it?  Too often I am spiritually fed in my morning devotions and within a couple of hours, I could not tell you what I learned!  How can I condemn the disciples for those things that I do myself?  No wonder we are warned against judging others.  Like Jesus said, I have to first remove the beam from my own eye before I can help someone else with the speck in their own! (Matt 7:5)

Father, I am grateful for your patience with me! Thank you for inspiring me to write this blog so I can go back and re-read what I've learned from you while I learn to concentrate better and thus remember these things longer. Please tune up my hearing!  May I not just hear your voice for a moment in the morning, but may that conscious contact be with me throughout the day. And may I constantly remember that physical bread is not nearly as important as spiritual bread! Please guide my thoughts and actions and help me keep my priorities straight. Father, what do I need to do to keep my eyes focused on you instead of becoming absorbed in mundane tasks?

A passage from Deuteronomy chapter 6 comes to mind: "Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God is one Lord. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with your entire being and with all your might. And these words which I am commanding you this day shall be in your minds and hearts; You shall whet and sharpen them so as to make them penetrate, and teach and impress them diligently upon the hearts of your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets (forehead bands) between your eyes. And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates." (verses 4-9)

Love God with all your entire being and with all your might - Obviously, I do not yet love God with my entire being and all my might, or this would not be an issue. If I did, other things could not crowd out His voice.  Father, forgive me! Only you can relieve me of this bondage of selfishness and self-seeking that keeps me from loving fully.  Please remove these defects of character and fill me with your love. What would my life be like if ALL my "might" - ALL my energy - was spent in loving You? "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (I Cor 2:9)  I'm sure this is true, Father, I am excited to see what you have in store!

Whet and sharpen them to make them penetrate - How do I "whet and sharpen" these words so they penetrate?  I know part of that answer is personal application like I'm doing here.  It's not enough to just hear the words, but I have to think about what they mean for me personally.  And I have to admit to my errors, and allow myself to understand the seriousness of letting other things be my "gods" because I focus on them to the exclusion of God's voice. I cannot make excuses for myself - that is dulling the words, not sharpening them.

Teach and impress them diligently upon the hearts of your children - Since my daughter is grown and living her own life, I don't always have the opportunity to teach and impress them on her heart anymore - but I need to be open for whatever opportunities arise. I also need to be willing to recognize the other "children" God sends my way.  There are others who are younger in their faith and can thus be seen as spiritual children. Father, am I diligent in teaching them? Please continue to guide me in this.  Thank you for the opportunities you give, and for the blessings and miracles I've seen.

Talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up - It's not enough to just think about and talk about them once a day.  I'm developing a pretty good habit about doing it when I "rise up" - thank you, God, for our time together! But what about when I sit in my house and walk by the way and lie down?  That's not consistent - more hit and miss. That's what I'm seeking to learn to do here, Father - CONSTANT CONTACT with You. How do I develop these habits? I sometimes remember to check in throughout my day, but how do I make it a CONSTANT habit?  I'm being impressed that a good place to start is to expand my daily routine to include a specific "debriefing" time at the end of the day.  A time for God and me to review my day and see how things went - rejoicing in the victories and learning from the mistakes. This is something I've thought about for some time, but just haven't gotten around to actually doing.  Father, please increase my desire and willingness to create this habit.  Thank you!

And you shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets (forehead bands) between your eyes. And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates. - "Bind them as a sign upon your hand".  This could be a bracelet that has beads or charms that are reminders of specific things.  "Frontlets between your eyes"  - I realized as I was thinking about beads or charms that I have to get more clear about specifically WHAT it is that I want to remember from each morning devotional time.  I bet this is part of the "whet and sharpen" piece too. If I can think through what I've learned each day and distill it into one short phrase or sentence, it will be easier to remember. While I used to be able to remember anything without any conscious effort, I've seen in recent years that I need to concentrate on remembering something if it is to stick with me.  Why would this be any different? "And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Sounds a lot like the idea of sticky notes on my bathroom mirror and words on my walls! This reminds me of what I shared a few days ago - ideas I'd had to help me remember.  But it's not enough to have the ideas. I have to IMPLEMENT them! I can only remember doing one specific thing this week in this regard - the ATC I talked about here. Can I increase this frequency? Daily feels a bit overwhelming right now, but could I do one concrete action at least every other day? 

For today, I choose to love God with my whole being and all my might and to begin daily debriefing sessions. Father, grant me these miracles as you free me from the bondage of self. Please guide me as I seek to find a concrete way to remember this choice.  Thank you so much for feeding me daily!  I remember when I first realized my complacency about receiving daily spiritual bread, and how I chose to seek it daily.  There was a part of me that worried that the insights wouldn't come; that didn't trust that You knew how to speak in a way that I could hear you.  Forgive my lack of faith, and thank you so much for all you've given me.  I certainly haven't gone hungry since I started asking you for my daily (spiritual) bread and really meaning it! Father, please help me relinquish myself to your control so that my love for you can fill my WHOLE being and be ALL that I expend energy on! I'm excited to see what you have in store for me. Thank you, God!