Misery?

Look on my misery, and rescue me, for I do not ignore your instruction.  Defend my case and redeem me; revive me according to your promise. Deliverance remains remote from the wicked, for they do not seek your statutes. Your mercies are magnificent, Lord; revive me according to your judgments.  Though my  persecutors and adversaries are numerous, I do not turn aside from your decrees.  I watch the treacherous, and despise them, because they do not do what you have said.  Look how I love your precepts, Lord; revive me according to your gracious love.  The sum of your word is truth, and each righteous ordinance of yours is everlasting. (Psalms 119:153-160 ISV)

As I started reading this next passage from Psalms 119, I didn't feel it related to me at all.  I hadn't been feeling miserable had I?  I've been living in a space of such gratitude for the miracle we saw over the weekend.  How can I relate to these words about misery?  I went so far as to stop and ask God if there was another passage I should focus on this morning instead.  Then I heard that still small voice speaking. . . .

There is indeed a part of my life where I've been feeling misery and need deliverance - my weight.  God has promised me that as I step forward to do the things He's called me to do, I'll lose the weight, but after an initial drop, my weight started inching up again.  Why?  Well, I tend to eat when I'm feeling stressed, and I've certainly been feeling a lot of stress in recent weeks. I've come to understand God's promise to me in this regard goes far beyond a simple physical healing.  It is also teaching me about how to live in a more healthy way.  For instance, He is teaching me to trust Him more so that I don't experience life as so stressful (thus am less likely to trigger food cravings). He is also teaching me better ways to handle stress than to eat over it.  So, these are His promises to me, and I want to claim these promises and see them completely fulfilled in my life!

From this perspective, this passage from Psalms 119 really resonates. "Look on my misery, and rescue me, for I do not ignore your instruction." Father, I am stepping forward in faith to do those things I feel called by you to do, despite my fear.  Please keep me from overeating when I feel that fear creeping in.  Please cast out that fear with your love, and give me the strength and wisdom to eat in a healthy way that I may indeed lose the weight as you've promised.  

"Defend my case and redeem me; revive me according to your promise." At first glance, I'm not sure what "defending" I need, but then it comes to me.  I need to be defended against the temptations I face on a daily basis regarding food.  Also, that word translated "defend" can also mean to argue or grapple with.  I recognize I've been grappling with issues around how best to meet my body's needs in the most healthy way and still interact comfortably with others when needing to eat out or eat in their homes, or whatever.  Father, you know my weaknesses, but you have promised that your strength is made perfect in weakness!  I continue to ask your guidance and the willingness to follow it.  Thank you, Father!  

"Deliverance remains remote from the wicked, for they do not seek your statutes." This passage reminds me that I cannot miss-use food and expect deliverance.  My only hope is to continually seek God's guidance in this and every part of my life.  Father, I'm so grateful that you are still a God of miracles.  I've seen your miracles on my behalf this weekend.  Now I'm asking for another miracle - for that is what reaching and maintaining a healthy weight will certainly be.  I'm seeking your counsel, Father.  Please make your guidance clear to me and give me the miracle of willingness to follow it.  You know how willful I can be when it comes to food.  Please relieve me of that bondage that I might better serve you.  Thank you, Father!

"Your mercies are magnificent, Lord; revive me according to your judgments."  Father, I am so grateful that you are a merciful God who understands our weaknesses.  As I seek your will and follow it - through your miracles in my behalf - I look forward to the physical recovery you have promised.

"Though my persecutors and adversaries are numerous, I do not turn aside from your decrees."  Once again, at first glance I don't feel I have a bunch of persecutors and adversaries - and then I realize.  When it comes to food, I have so many!  The food itself persecutes me - taunting me with thoughts of how good it would taste.  And many people surround me that serve a similar function, trying to convince me that it's not that big a deal to eat this or eat more of that.  And I myself fill that role at times, worrying about what others will think about my food choices, about hurting their feelings if I don't eat their food, and about what I will eat under conditions where the most healthy choices are not readily available.  Once again, Father, you give me guidance.  I need to follow your lead in this at all times.  I need to not turn away from your guidance to me - no matter how strong the temptation.  Father, I need a miracle!  Jesus, I think of how you fasted for 40 days in the wilderness and then still withstood tremendous temptations - demonstrating that even in a physically weakened state, we can hold fast.  Father, please strengthen me that I do not turn away from your decrees - from what you ask of me - whether food related, or other things that scare me!  Thank you, Father.

"I watch the treacherous, and despise them, because they do not do what you have said." As I read this, I realize the treacherous that I despise is ME when I don't do what God has guided me to do.  Father, I don't want to be numbered among the treacherous.  I want to fully and completely follow your guidance for me.  I want to follow your guidance so thoroughly that Jesus words could be true for me - that if folks have seen me, they've seen you.  Father, I am SO far from that ideal.  Once again, I ask for the miracle of your salvation - to save me from that sin within me that keeps me from living completely in alignment with your will.  Thank you, Father!

"Look how I love your precepts, Lord; revive me according to your gracious love." The study of this Psalm has been so valuable to me!  As I continue to seek understanding of the words in this Psalm, I find I am indeed coming to better understand and appreciate God's "law".  I am so grateful for his leading in my life! Father, thank you so much for increased understanding and willingness to follow your guidance.  I ask that I continue to grow in an understanding and appreciation of your will in my life - and in my adherence to that will.  I once again see the promise of recovery because of Your love for me. Thank you, Father!

"The sum of your word is truth, and each righteous ordinance of yours is everlasting."  There are so many "experts" out there trying to convince me that their diet or eating plan is the right one for weight loss.  They contradict each other and it can be so challenging to know what to do.  I am so grateful for God's guidance to bring the truth of the matter for me.  Father, thank you for your promises.  I am so grateful for this time that we get to share every day!  Thank you for your mighty miracles on my behalf as I seek to follow your will.  Thank you for not only willingness, but eagerness to follow your leadership in my life. Thank you, Father! Amen.