Today I've been reading once again in Psalms 51. As it says at the beginning of this chapter, it is a "Psalm of David: when Nathan the prophet came to him after he had sinned with Bathsheba."
This chapter has SO much meaning for me. When I am feeling discouraged because I have not made the choices I wish I had made, David's experience and his words in this Psalm bring hope.
In this day and age when so many of the people in power seem to believe that their positions allow them to behave in unseemly ways - and when they are caught, they deny everything - this story is shocking. King David has committed a horrible crime (having sex with a woman he knows is married and getting her pregnant, trying to get her husband to come home from the army so he can sleep with his wife and thus hide this situation, then when the husband feels it would be shirking his responsibilities to return home and spend time with his wife when others can't, he orders him placed in battle in such a way that he will be killed so that David can marry her). When confronted by Nathan the prophet about his sins, he admits them and writes this psalm. I can't imagine such a public confession from our public officials - nor one as clearly contrite. I am so grateful, though. It is such a blessing to me! Would I be willing to be this open in dealing with my own mistakes if it would be helpful to others? Father, I once again ask for the willingness to do your will - whatever that may be!
In the first several verses of this chapter, David cries out for cleansing from sin. Verse 4 really speaks to me. Nathan has told David that the child he had with Bathsheba would die because of David's sin. I'm afraid I would have, at the very least, started arguing with God about such a punishment. After all, the child did nothing to deserve such a fate! And truthfully, my human mind doesn't really understand God's judgment in this matter. However, David fully accepts God's judgment. Clearly burdened by guilt he seeks forgiveness and cleansing at the deepest levels of his heart. Then in verse 4 he says, "Against You, You only, have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and faultless in Your judgment." At first read, this is a shocking statement. Surely David realizes the great sin he committed against Bathsheba and against her husband - and the terrible example of abuse of power that he's set for his people! But David understands a core truth. Any time we make choices that take us out of alignment with God's will, we are worshiping the created (ourselves and our wills) rather than the Creator. This is serious indeed.
This morning I am dealing with the fact that I overate yesterday and woke up feeling yucky because of it. It is tempting to believe that this is just something that hurts me - that I am the only one my gluttony affects. Sometimes I can also see that I may have set a bad example for those around me. But, only when I realize the sin I have committed against God (placing my will above His) do I really understand the seriousness of my actions. It's in the list of the 7 deadly sins for a reason. It's very hard to overcome and as long as I'm overindulging, I'm not putting God first in my life.
So, like David, I find myself praying, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me. Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit." (verses 10-12) I love this passage in the Amplified Bible! What King James translates as "renew a right spirit within me" actually includes aspects of steadfastness and perseverance - clearly something I need and hadn't really thought about. This passage also helps me understand the seriousness of my gluttony. By continually indulging myself, I dull that still small voice of the Holy Spirit within me. Father, forgive me! Please cleanse me! "Wash me thoroughly . . . and make me wholly pure from my sin!" (verse 2) Clearly I need that willing spirit spoken of in verse 12, and I long for the joy that salvation from this will bring.
David goes on to say that God doesn't delight in sacrifice, or he (David) would bring it. Then he says, "My sacrifice to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, such, O God, You will not despise." (verse 17) I feel so upset about having made poor food choices once again. I KNOW this cannot change unless God changes me at depth - gives me that clean heart and right spirit. This verse gives me hope. My sorrow for my actions, my feelings of mortification and demoralization are exactly what is needed for the miracle to occur! This is my sacrifice to God, and God will not despise it! Thank you, Father.
As David did, I beg You, my Father, to create in me a clean heart and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me. May I ever more feel Your presence and the voice of your sweet Spirit guiding my life. May I be upheld with a willing spirit and continue to experience the joy that comes from letting you lead in my life. Thank you, Father! Thank you so much for your leading in my life. Thank you for the miracles I've experienced, and the ones you continue to work in my life for my healing!
4 comments:
This is something I struggle with also. Add to it the fact that it is extremely hard for me to see food--or anything--go to waste. Instead, it ends up on MY waist. Obviously, there is something wrong with this "hoarding" mentality. I experience it the most where food is concerned for some reason--maybe it's due to the years of want I've passed through where gleaning wormy fruit for paring and canning was a way of life.
When I think of my body as a temple for God, how can I invite God into a temple that is clogged in every corridor by the junk that accumulates, which is too much for my body to throw off without some real housecleaning? Thankfully, He has promised to DO that cleaning if we will only cooperate with Him and allow Him to work.
Cheryl, It's interesting as I look back on this comment. Physical food is just that--something to keep this earthly body going. When Jesus told the disciples to "gather up the fragments that nothing be wasted," the whole story--the multiplying of the bread, the distributing it, the gathering up the remnants, was to teach a spiritual lesson. It had very little to do with physical bread. Here I've spent my life worrying about physical waste and trying to prevent it just leads to clutter!!! What a revelation! What a load off my conscience! I no longer need to hoard anything. I simply don't need to concern myself with anything in this physical world around me except what I truly need!!! And in the spiritual realm, I NEED to gather the fragments. They will not lead to clutter; they will lead to LIFE. And there will always be more remaining than I was served at the beginning. Hallelujah!!!
Love it! I too, have a challenge at times with clutter. I've recognized that at some level hanging on to things expresses a lack of faith in God to supply my needs, but I also want to be a good steward. I can see that I, too, have made the mistake of focusing on the physical rather than spiritual application here! Thanks for your insights.
I read this again "by accident," when I was looking up your blog for today. I had already forgotten the lesson and needed to be reminded. I am STILL letting my concern over waste dictate too much of what goes into my mouth. Whatever makes me think it looks better on MY waist than helping to grow "the daisies"? I don't think it was an accident that I re-read this blog. I needed to run by this again!
Post a Comment
This blog is simply a sharing of my "daily bread" - my daily walk with God. If something I've said has touched your heart, or sparked a new thought, I'd love to hear from you.