My To Do List - or The Good Portion

I've been having difficulty sleeping the last few nights, waking up often throughout.  Sometimes in the past this has occurred because of snacking late at night, but I haven't been doing that. This morning, as I lay awake in bed in the wee hours this morning, I started asking both God and myself why it was that I was having difficulty sleeping.  The answer came almost immediately.  I was fretting about not getting more done on my to do list.  This was immediately followed by another thought. I was behaving like Martha - too worried about all the things that I wanted to get done and not having the right priorities (see story in Luke 10:38-42).

Frankly, this story of Mary and Martha is one that I somewhat resented when I was younger.  I've had this experience too many times - busy working to fix a meal for folks who would much rather visit than help with the work, but were happy to eat the results.  I wanted to visit, too, but someone had to cook dinner!  As I've matured, I've begun to understand how often I went overboard. I could have done things more simply and thus had more time for visiting, but I wanted a fancier meal and presentation.  I told myself I was doing it because I wanted to gift my friends and loved ones with a special meal, but clearly there was selfish pride at work or I wouldn't have been resentful.  While I don't think there is anything wrong with preparing nice meals and having a lovely table to enhance the meal, my priorities were wrong.

This morning as I lay awake thinking, several things came clear to me.  One of the reasons my husband and I agreed I should retire was so that I would have more time to focus on building the relationships we both wanted - but I have sometimes felt resentful when I've gotten tied up on the phone for extended periods of time.  I want to live a long and healthy life, but I've resented the time it takes to cook healthy meals and exercise.  I want to grow closer to God and more like Jesus, and have loved the daily food for thought I've been receiving during my devotional time - but I'm sorry to say I've even found myself wishing THAT didn't take so much time out of my day!

As I re-read the story of Martha this morning, I contemplated Jesus' reply in verses 41 and 42. "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; There is need of only one or but a few things. Mary has chosen the good portion [that which is to her advantage], which shall not be taken away from her."  I am reminded that there are few things in this life that are of real lasting importance, and I would do best to be spending the bulk of my time on these.  I have to ask myself the question, "How wise have I been in my thinking about my choices? In the grand scheme of things, what things in my day are of lasting value?"

Seen this way, my resentments suddenly disappear!  I HAVE been making the right choices, despite feeling I had little to show for my time.  Devotional time comes FIRST - as long as it takes for me to be fed (and if I can, to share that food on my blog).  Running second are those other things I do to increase my health and the health of those around me (spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically).  This includes cooking, cleaning, exercising, and building relationships.  That which appears to be more tangible (like papercrafting) is something that can too easily be taken away.

In this world it is so easy to get our priorities wrong.  We put so much importance on the material and tangible and forget how fleeting they can be.  While a focus on the intangible can make our time seem to disappear with nothing (tangible) to show for it, it is actually THAT focus on the intangible that creates results that are truly lasting and valuable!

Father, thank you for these insights and the shift in my thinking.  May I keep my eyes on you instead of my to do list!  May I allow you to guide my choices that they may be in alignment with your will and focused on things of lasting value.  I am so grateful for your patience with me and your gentle instruction.  May it be written deep in my heart so that I don't forget what you are teaching me.  Thank you, Father!