Social Etiquette & Food Choices

For some time I've struggled with food issues.  One of my challenges is that I've found that it can be challenging for me to make healthy food choices on an ongoing basis if I, even occasionally, eat foods that I've found to be less than helpful for my body system.  And yet, what to do when I'm in a social setting?  Eating out with friends?  Or even being a guest in someone's home?  

In a social setting, I hate to say anything about special dietary issues because I hate to make extra trouble for my hosts or make them feel I don't appreciate what they've done in preparing a meal.  I also don't want to be excluded from social events because people don't want to deal with my food sensitivities - especially since many people would see my diet as quite restrictive and wouldn't have a clue how to handle it!  After all, relationships are more important than food!

It's been an on-going challenge - one I've faced mostly internally.  I kept remembering the story in Acts chapter 10 about Peter's vision about the unclean meat.  He was told, "Do not call anything impure that God has made clean."  While I knew that for Peter, this vision was actually talking about the "unclean" gentiles, I also felt this story indicated that with prayer, I should be able to eat anything and not have it adversely affect me - especially when coupled with Luke 10:10 - "I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you." (NIV)

Recently, however, I was brought to a different story.  One I've heard since I was a child, but didn't absorb the full significance.  That is the story told in Daniel 1:8-16.  I've always seen this story as a lesson that a plant-based diet can be superior to one that is based in rich "delicacies", but I completely ignored the fact that Daniel ASKED that he and his friends be given a different meal than the other people were being given!  Now, this was an on-going situation and not a one-time thing, but it really struck me.  Daniel asked to be fed differently.  This realization has helped me both to feel better about choosing to eat differently than the "norm", and to feel less uncomfortable about saying something about it.  I still want to pray about each situation, but am more open to a wider range of responses.  Thank you, Father!

I was faced with a related dilemma again this weekend.  My husband's aunt is in an assisted living situation.  The facility had a special "Valentine's" meal where the residents were encouraged to invite family to join them for lunch.  So, this aunt asked my husband and me to join her.  It turned out to be quite challenging food-wise. The main food that I could eat was the appetizer salad.  Our aunt noticed I wasn't eating much and questioned me about it. I knew that she knew my dietary choices and would understand that the food in front of me did not meet those criteria, so what should I say?  I knew she wasn't particularly happy with the meal either, but she really had little choice.  She lived there!  I didn't want to make her feel any worse about things.  But the fact remained.  I REALLY couldn't eat much of what was in front of me!  

It was a lesson I continue to ponder and pray about. I want to understand all that God had for me to learn in that situation.  One of the questions I'm sitting with after my experience yesterday is, "what I can do to help improve our aunt's experience."  My heart hurts for her.  She's faced many changes that she didn't WANT, and is in a situation that isn't ideal.

Father, what is your will concerning her?  What is my part to play?

Father, this day I once again seek your guidance in my life.  May each thought, word, and action be in accordance with your will!  May I not only gain increased clarity on HOW best to eat, but also WHEN and WHAT to say about it to others, and WHEN I need to just eat what is put before me, trusting you to protect me.  Father, I know this lesson goes beyond physical food. 

I think of a couple passages in 1 Corinthians: 

• "All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any."  1 Cor 6:12

• "All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not." 1 Cor 10:23

It's clear to me that I need to make sure my focus is on what is BEST, not what I can get away with!  While it may be true that I can get away with eating certain things - whether we're talking about physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual - that doesn't necessarily mean it's best.  God wants the BEST for me.  Shouldn't I support Him in that endeavor?  Likewise, I know God wants the very best for our aunt, and I want to support Him in that endeavor as well.

Father, may I be willing to learn from you about what is BEST for me.  May I be open to whatever changes may be necessary in the physical, emotion, mental, and spiritual parts of my being.  Thank you for wanting the very best for me.  May I cooperate with you on that.  And may I also recognize how I can facilitate that for others and be willing to follow through with the tasks you place before me.  Thank you, Father!