About This Blog

The butterfly picture in the upper left corner is a symbol and reminder for me of the spiritual process. Sometimes I am the caterpillar - barely able to see far enough in front of me to put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes I find myself in that dark place of the soul, and I remind myself that it is simply my cocoon. While all may seem dark, and I may feel like everything is totally disintegrating around me (and in me!) a miracle is at work in my life and I will soon be able to fly! I love those days where I experience the butterfly in my life! The ability to fly above all the mundane earthy matters and remember the truth and experience God's power in tangible ways in my life are wonderful times indeed that occur more and more often as I continue this journey! Thank you, God!

If you are so inclined, I invite you to journey with me as we seek the promised land together. While I hope to share some "faithbooking" (scrapbook pages or artistic journaling about my faith journey), much of the time the journey may well be seen in words, rather than pictures. I invite you to create your own pictures. How do these things play out in your life? I'd love to hear from you about your own spiritual journey!

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Thinking about Faith

As I was thinking some more about faith this morning, I glanced through this year's February Guidepost.  A title jumped out at me - "By Faith Alone".  It's the story of a young wife who prayed for healing for her quadriplegic husband and got something else instead. If you wish, you can read the text of the article here. This story reminded me once again about an important aspect of faith.  

When I was a child, I thought faith in God was believing he would give me what I wanted.  So I would pray and pray for specific things.  Sometimes I got them, sometimes I didn't.  What made the difference?  Was my faith weaker some times than others?

As I've grown up and become a parent myself, I've begun to better understand what faith in God means.  It doesn't me getting what I want - though often I do get those things. Nor is not getting what I want evidence of an absence of faith!  Faith in God means just that - faith in GOD - not faith in results of some specific nature! Sometimes my faith is demonstrated when I trust God DESPITE not getting what I want.  I'm told that my Heavenly Father knows better than any human how to give good gifts to his children. (Matt. 7:11)  Do I trust Him?  Or do I throw a tantrum like a young child if I don't get my way - telling myself (or Him) that He doesn't love me if I don't get what I want?

Father, may I put my faith in YOU and only you!  Thank you for caring so much for me and for giving me what is best even when I ask for something different!  I am so grateful that you know more than I can know and use that knowledge for my best good and the good of those around me.  May I live in true faith rather than behaving like a spoiled child! 

Friday, March 29, 2013

Faith

Today I came across something else that was written about Jesus prayers: "During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered . . . "  Heb 5:7-9 NIV

I guess I've never really thought about it.  I know Jesus struggled in the garden of Gethsemane, but I still thought somehow that faith and obedience came easily to him.  Yet the picture presented here - praying and petitioning God with loud cries and tears - does not fit that picture at all.  In Jesus we truly have a picture of a man who has suffered and struggled just as we do - or more so. 

This is so encouraging to me!  Sometimes I indeed feel my faith is small as a mustard seed and I feel discouraged and alone and all I can do is cry out to God.  This reminds me that when I'm having a hard time and feeling overwhelming feelings, I'm in good company.  If Jesus prayed and petitioned the Father with loud cries and tears, surely I needn't beat myself up for doing the same!

I'm thinking about that phrase - faith as a grain of mustard seed.  It comes from Matt 17:20 - "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you."  When my faith is small, I certainly don't always experience these sorts of miracles.  Why?  The answer comes to me.  I don't always PLANT my seed of faith!  

I'm reminded of the parable Jesus told about a mustard seed: "Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field: Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof." Matt 13:31-32  It does me no good to just save my little mustard seed of faith.  I must actually PLANT IT in order for it to grow into a demonstration of the kingdom of God!

So, how do I plant it and see that it grows?  What I read here in Matt 13:31-32 and again in Luke 13:19 suggests that all I have to do is toss the seed on the ground in the garden of my heart, reminding myself that I can trust God and that faith in Him can move mountains. I don't even need to worry about watering - God has promised to be a spring of living water in me!  I am reminded once again of a verse in Isaiah 58 - "And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not." (verse 11)  Truly His yoke is easy and His burden is light! 

There's a song that Sandi Patty sings called "Meeting Disaster Face to Faith". (You can read the lyrics here.)  It reminds me that when things get rough my best choice is to meet my challenges with faith. 

Thank you, Father, that you are indeed a God of mighty miracles and that you can turn the most difficult circumstances into reasons for rejoicing!  I ask this morning that you take my little mustard seed of faith that I've planted in my heart and water it as you've promised, nourishing it as you nourish the rest of me - that the work you have begun in me will indeed be seen to completion.  As the AA 3rd step prayer says, "God I offer myself to thee to build with me and to do with me what thou wilt.  Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.  Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.  May I do Thy will always!"

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Secret Prayer

I've been thinking a lot about verses I recently read from Matthew 6 - particularly verses 5-7 ("And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.  But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking." KJV)

At first glance at least, this seems to be speaking against public prayer and against praying memorized prayers.  I think about where these two things occur the most for me and come up with two occasions - saying grace before a meal, and prayer to open or close meetings with a spiritual emphasis.  Should I stop participating in these activities?  Are these prayers not heard?

With regard to public prayer, I think of Daniel and the fact that his prayer habits were so public that he was thrown to the lions because of them.  And I think of Jesus - he prayed some public prayers.  I particularly think of the prayers before feeding the 4000 and the 5000 - it clearly says he blessed the food before passing it out.  And when he raised Lazarus from the dead, he prayed publicly and made it clear he was doing so to be overheard by the people nearby.  So, as with most things, I suspect it comes down to motivation.  (I suspect this is one of the reasons we are warned against judging - we can only see actions, we can't truly know motivations.)  A closer reading of verse 5 makes it clear that He is talking about those that are praying publicly to be seen by people - to get others to think well of them.  This is different from Jesus motivation which was to make it clear that the deeds he did were not His alone, but God's. (John 11:41-45)  So, the question I have to ask myself is, are there times when I am praying to be seen by people? perhaps to "set a good example for them"?  This is where I need to "take heed lest I fall"!  (I Corinthians 10:12)  Personally, saying grace before a meal, blessing the food, is something I feel pretty strongly about.  In this day and age of overly farmed land, over processed foods and even contaminated foods, I think asking for God's blessing on the food is vital to my health!  It is definitely not just something I do simply to be seen by people!

In continuing to think about this, I realize I also have sometimes worried that my public prayers were too short. I guess sometimes I've tried to emulate those I've heard whose prayers sounded "good".  They are often longer as well.  Obviously one issue here is that worrying about such a thing suggests praying "to be seen of men".  Also, when I look at the few examples we have of Jesus prayers, his public prayers appear to be quite short.  It is his private prayers that were long - those times when he went off by himself and prayed all night.  I suspect I would indeed see much more "reward" from following that example!

What about memorized prayers or saying virtually the same thing each time. Are these like the "vain repetitions" being spoken of here?  I have been greatly blessed by some memorized prayers.  For example, the serenity prayer - "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference" - has been an important reminder for me when I start to worry about something.  It helps provide clarity and reminds me to seek God's guidance - what is mine to do? Where do I need to increase my faith?  Or the Lord's Prayer (Math 5:9-13) - this has also been a blessing in my life.  As I pray this prayer, I am reminded of truths about God that are important for me to keep in mind.  Clearly then, in my life these are not vain repetitions.  My repeating them is not in vain, it accomplishes something!  

I see two issues as I re-read verse 7.  First, is the issue of vain repetition.  It seems to me that to avoid this, I must make sure I am praying sincerely and meaning each word rather than just saying it by rote.  

The second issue is if I think I will be heard be God because of a lot of words. Do I do this? Sometimes I find myself praying for the same thing over and over.  Do I do this because I don't believe God heard me the first time?  Do I do this because I think I can somehow change God's mind towards me if I beg him enough like a child might his parent?  I think of the story of Hezekiah (II Kings 20).  Did Hezekiah's begging change God's mind?  And if so, was that a good thing?  I want to live in God's will.  As such, I want to present my petitions to Him, but I want to remember to ask that His will be done in all things and to trust. Sometimes by repeatedly praying for something I'm concerned about reminds me that I've already asked God about it and I can trust Him to work things out according to His will and timetable.  

Father, I once again thank you for guiding my thoughts and understanding as I continue to ponder these things.  May I understand you and your will in my life more clearly.  May my understanding of prayer and my relationship with you continue to increase.  Thank you, Father.


Wednesday, March 27, 2013

How to Pray

As I've been learning to "enter into His gates with thanksgiving and into His courts with praise" (Ps 100:4) I've been thinking once again about the "proper" way to pray.  Figuring I can do no better than to go to what Jesus himself taught on this subject, I returned to Matthew chapter 6 to re-read His instructions.  I had figured to once again go through The Lord's Prayer, to see what I could uncover, but I got caught up in several verses before that - starting with verse 6. 

When looking at a passage which I've read over and over again and know by heart, I often find it helpful to go to the original language to see if there are things I can better understand that way.  Not knowing the original languages myself, I rely on reference materials - most commonly Strong's concordance. I used that again today.

The first word I looked up was the word translated "pray".  I've been taught so many different things about what prayer is, but I wondered what it actually meant in the Greek.  I found that essentially it means "wishing to God".  How much more valuable a technique than wishing on a star or birthday candles!  I've sometimes thought that wishing for something is bad.  After all, I know I've been told that it is best to be content with what I have (Heb 3:5). So how do I reconcile that with the fact that prayer literally means to wish to God?  I am reminded of something I recently heard about the word "enthusiasm".  It literally means to be possessed by God or to have God within. Is it possible that I can be so possessed by God, so filled with Him and directed by His will, that my desires are His and a form of guidance?  

Father, I am so grateful that you are my daddy and that I can trust you to have my best good at heart.  I am so grateful that YOU know how to give good gifts to your children better than human parents ever could.  I am so grateful for all of these gifts - that in you I live and move and have my being!  Father, I ask that you live within me and that your will be done in my life - that you so fill me that my desires are indeed Yours.  Thank you, Father, once again for the promise that you will see the work you've started in me to completion. I love you, Father!      

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

A New Song

Yesterday I noticed something new.  For some time I have been working to remind myself to "enter into His gates with thanksgiving and into His courts with praise" (Psalms 100: 4)   I would find myself awakening and starting to pray, only to realize I was once again beginning with requests and having to remind myself to start with gratitude instead.  Yesterday, I woke up with a scripture of praise in my heart and mind.  The gratitude came FIRST. YAY!  It's finally starting to sink in!!!

This morning something similar happened as I awoke.  This time it was the words of a song that I haven't thought of in years.  "There's a new song in my heart."  The full chorus goes something like "There's a new song in my heart since the Savior set me free. There's a new song in my heart 'tis a heav'nly harmony. All my sins are washed away in the blood of Calvary. Oh what peace and joy nothing can destroy, there's a new song in my heart." 

I DO feel I've been set free. Yesterday I also woke up KNOWING that I had been procrastinating about something because of fear and that I needed to move forward with what I had been guided to do before I would experience the healing I've been seeking.  The guidance was SO clear (and I'd been praying that it would be!).  So, yesterday I put a LOT of time and energy into moving forward to face my fears and walk through them.

Yes, I'm facing a fair amount of fear in this new endeavor, but I've been reminded that the flip side of fear is excitement.  A friend once suggested to me that if I don't feel SOME fear about a new endeavor, it probably isn't God's will because God's plans are generally big enough to require His strength and power in me.  While this might be an oversimplification, and while I believe if I am fully living in faith I will feel no fear because I will trust God's love for me completely, I HAVE had a couple of other times in my life where I felt this sort of fear - and walking through it was the most amazing and freeing thing I've ever done.  I'm experiencing this again today as I continue to seek His will in my life.  Thank you, God!

There are quite a few verses in the Bible that talk about a "new song". Here is one that really speaks to me this morning. "He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord." Ps 40:3, New Living Translation.  Certainly the first part of this verse is my experience today. And I don't know about others, but I see what He has done in me and am amazed. Thank you, Father!

Father, this morning I once again praise you for your love, your power, and your guidance in my life.  I am SO grateful! Thank you for giving me the courage and ability to walk forward into this new endeavor despite my fear.  Thank you for the multiple instances of reassurance that this is indeed the path to which you have called me at this time.  Thank you for giving me the sense that it won't be as hard as I've been afraid it would be. Thank you for all I've been able to get done so far, and for your strength and energy as I move forward into this day.  May I do your will, Father.  Amen.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Service

I've been thinking more about what God desires of us. So often I've thought of service to God showing up only in the most blatant forms - like being a minister or at least a spiritual counselor.  Today I was reading a book that really spoke to me.  It was a short e-book by one of my favorite authors - Karen Kingsbury.  The synopsis of the story is that when a young couple lose their daughter in childbirth - along with the chance of having anymore children - they do something unexpected.  They realize that in order to get through their grief they have to find a way to help others. They don't do this by becoming pastors or even by getting involved with children who need good homes.  They do this by opening a bookstore and being there for their patrons who are hurting.

I believe that God speaks to us in a variety of ways.  Certainly He speaks through sacred writings like the Bible, but he also uses other books, songs, nature, other people . . . He has lots of ways to speak to me, and I am so grateful for His leading.  Today He spoke to me through this short e-book. I have been questioning the plans I had made to step forward into a new venture.  Is this really what God wants me to do?  Today I have the vision. No matter what I do, I can do it with a prayer in my heart for God's will to be done in my life.  I can keep my eyes open for those opportunities to share God's love with those around me - not in a preachy way, but by allowing my life to be a channel through which God can express His love. 

I think of a couple of verses that have been in my mind lately. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength" ( Mark 12: 30 - New Century Version)  As I discussed a few days ago, I realized that loving God with all my strength requires that all my activities stem from a desire to do His will.  The other one is "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might. . ." (Ecclesiastes 9:10). This morning these verses feel like guidance - like God is saying to me, "Yes, move forward - and put your whole self into it. Quit your wavering about whether I want you to do it or not and move forward in full confidence."

Father, I am so grateful for your guidance in my life and for your love and acceptance of me - even when I am struggling with things that would be easy if I would just relax and trust you! Once again I ask that your will be done in my life this day and I am grateful that you who have begun a good work in me will see it to completion.  While I might sometimes be tempted to set something aside when the going gets tough and not finish it, you won't do that when it comes to your work in me.  Thank you, Father!

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Motivations

I recently attended a retreat and have been working to absorb some of the concepts that were presented.  One of the things I've been realizing is how much selfishness still motivates my life. This time, it was a look at why I am seeking God's will in my life.  Am I simply wanting to live His will more fully in my life so that I may better serve Him and my fellow human beings? Or am I motivated by selfish desires.  I realize that too much of the time, I am seeking selfish desires. I know that when I follow God's plan my life goes more smoothly.  I am grateful for this, but don't wish it to be the main motivating factor.  When it is, I too often get off track.  I was reminded this morning of the story of Jonah. Too often I've been like Jonah.  When God's asked me to do something that looks hard or scares me, I try to run away.  Then when the storms of life come, I again seek God's will and becoming willing, only to get frustrated with God when things don't turn out the way I had envisioned. This is not the way I want to continue to live.  I want my motivations to be pure.

So today, Father, I once again "offer myself to Thee -- to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.  Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy will.  Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life.  May I do Thy will always!" (from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous - the 3rd step prayer)

Friday, March 15, 2013

Love or selfishness?

Yesterday I shared a verse from Micah about what God requires of us and what that means to me.  This morning I decided to re-read this short book, and got through the first 3 chapters or so.  I was SO struck by what this prophet told Israel, and how just and merciful God is.  As I read of God's displeasure at how the Israelites took advantage of people and put their own desires above all else, I was struck by two things.  

First, somehow in thinking about all these prophecies and the way the Israelites went into captivity, I've known it was said that it happened because they "rebelled" against God, but for some reason I've only had some rather hazy notion of what that meant - despite reading about it.  I've thought of their "sins" as some nebulous concept related to their large body of laws about sacrifices and feasts and how all of these were to be observed.  Without realizing it, I've felt sorry for them figuring it would be pretty hard to follow ALL those laws all the time.  But from my reading in Isaiah and Jeremiah, and now Micah, I'm seeing much more clearly that this was not about some nebulous broken rule.  This was about people who had strayed so far from God's way of life that they felt it was okay to cheat others and steal from them and take advantage of the poor and unfortunate.  No wonder God was frustrated - His people were mistreating His people!  He kept pleading with them to change - but they wouldn't.  This shows me how merciful and just God is.  He's not out to get us on some technicality!  But, if we are his, he expects us to act like it and live from love.

And then the second part of this hits.  How well am I doing at this?  So many times I can see that despite my strong desire to let God's love flow through me, I have once again behaved in a selfish way.  It may not be as blatant or as often as it once was, but it STILL happens.  As I discussed yesterday, living from love is a much bigger concept than I've thought about before.  

Father, I am so grateful for your love for me and for your mercy.  I am so grateful for the changes you are making in my life. Once again I ask that you continue the work that you have started in me - knowing that you've said you will see it to completion.  Father, you've got a big job ahead of you!  May I be responsive and open to your teaching.  Thank you, Father!


Thursday, March 14, 2013

What is Good?

Sometimes we can make things so complicated!  Today I am reminded of how simple things really are meant to be (I said simple - not necessarily easy!) as I re-read Micah chapter 6 verse 8.  "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, and love kindness and mercy, and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God?"  It's not a big long list of rules and regulations. (Can you imagine what life would be like if our governing councils could write laws this succinctly!) But there is a lot here.  What does this mean for me today?
  • Do justly - treat myself and others fairly
  • Love kindness and mercy - revenge has no part here - not only am I to extend kindness and mercy, but I'm to LOVE doing it!  No grudging gifts or conversations - only love-filled.
  • Humble yourself - I'm coming to understand more and more how important it is to be teachable, rather than thinking I already know everything!  As time goes on, I realize more and more how little I really KNOW as I see things I thought I knew look different from a different perspective.
  • Walk humbly with your God - Most importantly for me is to look to God as my teacher and my guide. Thank you, God, for being willing to be my teacher!
Or, as Jesus put it, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength" and "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." ( Mark 12: 30, 31 New Century Version)

I find myself wondering, "Why all those words used to clarify our love for God?"  I suspect the answer is that we don't always understand what full love entails, and these words are added to expand our understanding.  So, what does it look like when I love God with all my:
  • Heart? - This sounds to me like exclusivity - no other "gods".  That means I don't allow anything to be more important to me.  If I allow another person to interfere with my relationship with God, I am not loving God with my whole heart.  Same goes if I allow some THING to interfere (for example, eating food that is not good for my body - which is God's temple - or anything that keeps me from spending time with God).
  • Soul? - the Greek word here means "sentient being" - one who feels and is conscious of sensations - So, if I love God with all my soul, all of my feelings are tied up in God, leaving no room for negative emotions???  Or maybe it simply reminds me to take ALL my feelings to God, no matter how negative and let Him heal them!
  • Mind? - Hmm - maybe if love for God fills my whole mind, there is no room in my mind left for doubt.
  • Strength? - All my energy. This suggests that EVERYTHING I do should be coming out of my love for God.
Next, I am to love my neighbor as myself. I notice this doesn't say love my neighbor MORE than myself, it says AS myself.  For far too long, I allowed others to walk all over me, thinking that was God's will for me.  But who of us wants to see our loved ones taken advantage of? God doesn't want that for me either! By the same token, however, my desires should not take presidence over that of my neighbor. My neighbor should be just as important to me as myself.  Oh man, I don't even KNOW many of my neighbors!  Of course, as Jesus demonstrated in the story of the Good Samaratan, my "neighbor" extends far beyond those physically living near me, to include anyone who might cross my path.  Clearly to live this way I need to spend more time actually interacting with my neighbors - and anyone who crosses my path.  It's pretty hard to love them as myself if I know them as I know myself!

Lots of food for thought here!

Thank you, God.  Thank you for your guidance in my life!  Thank you, Father, for your incredible love for me.  I ask that you continue to grow my love and mature it, that I may more completely embody the guidelines you've given here. May my love look more and more like yours each day!  I SO love you, Father!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Self-esteem

I was reading in Psalms 4 this morning and was struck by parts of the first 3 verses.  Verse one says, "Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness" and verse 3 says "But know that the Lord has set apart for Himself him who is godly.  The Lord listens and heeds when I call to Him."

I grew up thinking that it was a bad thing to think good things about myself. And in fact, there's still a part of me that cringes inside at the idea of calling myself godly or righteous.  A verse from Isaiah was quoted often ". . . all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags . . . " And Matthew 19:17 says, ". . . there is none good but one, that is God . . ."  And yet here in Psalms 4 (and elsewhere) David speaks of himself as righteous and godly.  I note the phrase "God of my righteousness" and understand David to be clear about where his right doing comes from, but he is still not afraid to call himself godly!  I don't know that I would ever feel comfortable calling myself righteous or godly, yet if I believe God, that is how He sees me, through Christ.

I've often thought about the concept of self-esteem.  Psychologists define it as our sense of self-worth or value and tell us that it is essential for emotional health. And yet I've seen so many people - even Christians - that have poor self esteem (at one time, I was there myself.)  It seems to me that far from having low self-esteem, Christians should have the most healthy sense of self-esteem.  After all, we have so much value to God that He was willing to come to earth and show us the way.

It seems to me that when we denigrate ourselves as having no value, we are thumbing our nose at God's assessment of us. Do we really believe that God doesn't know what He's doing when He decides we're valuable to Him?  Whether speaking of ourselves or another of God's children, too often we say terrible things about what God sacrificed to save.  Who do we think is correct?  Do we think we can assess the value of a human being better than God can?

Father, thank you for what you are doing in my life - for saving me and making me whole, for cleansing me and loosing the chains that bind!  Thank you for seeing value in me when I couldn't see it in myself - and for working in me to increase the value of your investment! Thank you for being love in me this day as I interact with those that cross my path.  May I remember their value to you and act accordingly.  Thank you, Father!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

How Long?

This morning I'm reminded once again of how like children we are when it comes to our relationship with our Heavenly Father.  Like children on a long trip, we keep asking, "Are we there yet?"  "How much farther?"  "How long is it going to take us?"

This morning when I asked God if there was a passage He wanted me to look at, the verse that came to me was the first verse of Psalm 13: "How long will You forget me, O Lord? Forever? How long will you hide your face from me?" It continues in verse 2 - "How long must I lay up cares within me and have sorrow in my heart day after day?  How long shall my enemy exalt himself over me?"  I guess I've been feeling this way a bit about my struggle with weight loss.  How long is it going to take?! I want it to be immediate - but of course these things take time.  I have to be willing to make the changes even though I don't see immediate results.  Sometimes I'm so much like a 2-year old.  If I eat right one day, I expect to have lost weight by morning, and if I haven't I feel like eating right isn't working!  How foolish and short-sighted of me.

In this short 6-verse Psalm that was written by David, I see him also struggling with impatience.  It also looks like he may be struggling with depression as I read in in the next two verses. "Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; lighten the eyes [of my faith to behold Your face in the pitchlike darkness], lest I sleep the sleep of death. Lest my enemy say, I have prevailed over him, and those that trouble me rejoice when I am shaken."

The last two verses take a decided turn in tone.  "But I have trusted, leaned on, and been confident in Your mercy and loving-kindness; my heart shall rejoice and be in high spirits in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me."  

Is it possible there's a prescription hidden in this Psalm - one that can help me not only deal with impatience, but even with depression if it comes up? I decide to look more closely to see if I can spot a hidden "happiness prescription". 

I find a step by step guideline:
  1. Share my feelings with God - Clearly the first thing is to start is to cry out to God as David did here.  I'm realizing as I write this that allowing myself to wallow in impatience can be a first step to depression.  As I think back on my life I realize that I've seen that progression several times.  Instant gratification is not always possible and often would not be best for me.  I have to be willing to trust God no matter how long things seem to be taking!  Crying out to God about what I'm feeling - no matter how petty it may seem - is a first step to remembering to trust. This is what I see David doing here in the first couple of verses.
  2. Remember God's power and willingness - Verses 3 and 4 take on a slightly different tone.  Though David is still in distress, he's remembering that not only can God lift his spirits (lighten his eyes) and increase his faith. He also reminds himself that God has reasons to do so beyond his love for David.  David serves as an example to his enemies.
  3. Remember how I've trusted in the past and how well it's turned out - Clearly as David remembered how he had trusted in the past, he realized God would indeed save him from his current troubles.  
  4. Make a CHOICE for joy - David says,  "my heart shall rejoice" BEFORE things had changed for him in the outer world. He isn't saying, "My heart is rejoicing, at the way you've saved me" - but rather, my heart WILL rejoice."  This is a choice he makes as memories of God's leading in the past and knowledge of God's love help him shift his thinking and help him KNOW that God has things under control - in His timing.
  5. Start singing! - David ends by saying, "I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me." I have found songs of praise - sung aloud - to be a marvelous way to shift my mood from impatience or discouragement to joy.  There is something PHYSICAL that happens as I sing praises that is very powerful. And songs of praise can be a powerful way to remind myself of God's love and the way he's blessed my life.
Father, thank you for reminding me this morning of how dangerous impatience can be.  I am so grateful to you for your love and guidance! I am so grateful I can trust you with my life.  I am so glad nothing takes YOU by surprise - that you have always prepared for it and that I can trust that ALL things work together for good.  Thank you for healing according to YOUR time table.  May I be willing to be obedient and patient.  Thank you for such unconditional love, that continues loving me no matter how whiny I get when the trip seems longer than I had wanted!  May I choose joy and singing instead of impatience, enjoying the journey as special time spent with you.  Thank you, Father!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Am I afraid of people?

Throughout my life I have had a tendency to be afraid of what others think of me and have wasted far too much of my time worrying about it.  Among other things, such fear has too often held me back from trying new things and from interacting freely in social situations. It has sometimes made me hold my tongue instead of sharing with other people about what is truly going on for me. And it has sometimes kept me silent about what God has done in my life and kept me from sharing the "good news" with others.

This morning as I was reading in Psalms chapter 3, verse 6 stood out to me: "I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people who have set themselves against me . . . "  Wow! Can I say that?  I know that God's love in me can cast out fear (1 John 4: 18).  Am I letting it do its job?  Certainly I'm not if I insist on being afraid of folks who haven't even set themselves against me!  I sometimes worry about dealing with even just one or two people - what about ten thousand?  It's long past time for me to completely let go of such fears!

Father, thank you for your love - for me, in me, through me.  Thank you for your peace - that passes all understanding. Thank you for your power - to make all things work together for good.  May I FULLY trust in you, and may I FULLY allow your love in me to COMPLETELY cast out fear.  May I be able to truly say with the psalmist, "I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people who have set themselves against me"!  Thank you, Father!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

How do You wash your hands?

I was reading in February's guideposts magazine this morning and came across this gem of an idea.  Christeena McHale says she timed herself saying the Lord's Prayer and found it took her exactly 15 seconds - which is how long guidelines say we should wash our hands to help avoid colds and flu.  So, she now prays this prayer every time she washes her hands.  She says it helps her to stay healthy both physically and spiritually.

I love this idea.  It's a great way of remembering to keep in contact with my Father throughout the day.  Since one of the things I'm wanting to increase in my life is an attitude of praise, I've thought I might also use the time to recite a psalm of thanksgiving.

Father, I'm so grateful that you are my Father and that you are in heaven!  I'm grateful that you live above all the pettiness and strife of this world and can help me to do the same. May I not take you for granted, and may your will be lived out here on earth - just as it is in heaven!  Thank you for my daily bread - both physical and spiritual. Thank you for your forgiveness and your power in me to forgive others.  I am so grateful for your power to deliver me from all that might harm me, and ask your help so that I allow that power to work in me this day - and every day. Thank you, Father, for making it so!

Friday, March 8, 2013

Another Happiness Prescription

God is so good!  In the last few days I have seen MIRACLES as he stepped in and kept me from eating things that weren't best for me!  I am so grateful for his guidance in my life! 

Today I came across another happiness prescription.  This one is found in the last part of Psalms 2, verse 12. "O blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied) are all those who seek refuge and put their trust in Him!"  I guess that's what I've been doing and those miracles I mentioned are the result.  And I AM happy!  I've seen miracles beyond the food, too.  For example, yesterday I actually found myself CHOOSING to do some weeding in the front yard!  It's probably been a couple of years since I helped my husband in the yard without his having to push me to do it!  It felt really good to be out there.  The sun was shining but it wasn't too hot.  And the soil was moist - making it easy to pull the weeds.  It was just perfect weather for being out in the yard. 

Thank you, Father for the many blessings you want to give us each day.  For the lovely weather yesterday, for the victories over food, for the inspiration to complete the cards that needed to be made, for the willingness to listen, for the joy of being out in the yard again.  May I be ever more open to receiving your blessings!  And may I continually seek refuge and put my trust in you!  I know this is indeed what brings me happiness.  I am so grateful, Father.  You are AMAZING!

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Another Happiness Recipe

A couple of months ago I shared about the happiness recipes I found in Matthew chapter 5 (in this post). Today I came across another one.  It is Psalms 1:1-3 "Blessed (happy, fortunate, prosperous, and enviable) is the man who walks and lives not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path where sinners walk, nor sits down where the scornful gather.  But his delight and desire are in the law of the Lord and on His law he habitually meditates by day and by night. And he shall be like a tree firmly planted [and tended] by streams of water, ready to bring forth its fruit in its season; its leaf also shall not fade or wither; and everything he does shall prosper." Isn't that a wonderful promise?  How wonderful to live a life where everything I do prospers! So, I take a closer look at these verses:
  • "who walks and lives not in the counsel of the ungodly" - I've come to realize that in some situations, I have to be very careful indeed about whose counsel I seek.  While God can and often does speak to me through others, not every voice I hear speaks for Him!  I run into a challenge especially when I seek advice from others when someone has hurt me. If the person is not one who is steeped in Godly principles, I will very often get poor advice that doesn't follow the principles laid out in Matt 5 (and other places).  These people, who in many ways are caring, helpful people, whether they are trained counselors or just friends, will tell me certain actions are justified and I should return an "eye for an eye".  The unconditional and amazing love that Jesus calls us to live from is not something that is readily understood or appreciated by those who haven't opened their hearts to God's guidance and made a study of Godly principles.  I am learning that I am indeed happier when I do my best to treat others as I believe God would have me treat them and as I would like God to treat me - with loving forgiveness and compassion.  If I do this, regardless of their behavior, and quit worrying about how fair they are or aren't being to me, my life is indeed much happier.  This does not mean I have to allow others to continually mistreat me - except when mistreatment was part of the plan (near the crucifixion), Jesus did not allow others to mistreat Him.  There are times when He knew the people planned to hurt him, so He just disappeared.  As I continually seek God's guidance, I'll be shown what to do in any given situation.  But I've seen that it's important in relationships to keep my side of the street as clean as I can, regardless of how well others are cleaning their side of the street.
  • "nor stands in the path where sinners walk" - What does it mean to stand in the path where sinners walk?  For me, at least one of the things it means, is to hang out in situations where I am easily tempted to do that which is not good for me, or to longingly think about things that don't serve me.  This has more to do with HOW I am behaving, than with WHERE I am or WHO I am with.  Jesus hung out with sinners a lot, but did not stand in the path in which they walked.  He wasn't longingly  thinking about doing the things they were doing.  Instead he was working to help them find a better way.  One of the ways I stand in the path where sinners walk is to misuse my imagination.  If I use it to imagine how good I think something would be when I know it is not best for me (for example, imaging how good something would taste and wishing I could have some when I know it is not in my best interests), I am standing in the path where sinners walk.  I am just asking for trouble, and this is DEFINITELY not the path to happiness.  It always leads to unhappiness instead. My imagination is better used in visualizing God's love for me and how I can best live the life he would have me live.
  • "nor sits down where the scornful gather" - This is another place I can get into trouble.  Even if I don't actively participate in gossip myself, if I sit around listening to it, it has a negative impact on me.  It not only can cause me to think of others in less than loving ways, but it can also cause me to start worrying about what others are thinking about me.  But this is none of my business.  All that really matters is what God thinks, and following His guidance to the best of my ability.  Anything else just brings me pain.
  • "his delight and desire are in the law of the Lord and on His law he habitually meditates by day and by night" - Is my delight and desire in the law of the Lord?  Or do I see it as an uncomfortable obligation?  I've come to realize that God IS love and wants the very best for me.  Thus, as I seek His will, I know His will will be in my best interests.  But I don't always delight in and desire His guidance. Too often I get rebellious and want to do things that are not good for me.  This NEVER brings me happiness in the long run, and usually just makes me feel bad about myself even in the short term. Those words - delight and desire - are ones that I want to meditate on and try to more completely incorporate into my life with regard to God's will in my life. 
Father, thank you once again for giving me my daily bread!  I am so grateful for your guidance and the difference it makes in my life!  I've clearly seen that your ways are best, and I ask that you help me more completely incorporate the guidelines you've given me here into my life as a whole.  Your yoke is indeed easy and your burden light.  I can let go of my worries about how things will turn out and just trust your guidance for my actions each day.  Of course, everything I do will prosper if I do this, because you cannot fail!  It doesn't matter what things look like in the moment, I can trust that "all things work together for good" (Rom 8:28) as I follow your lead. This brings such lightness of spirit and such happiness!  Thank you, Father!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Just Do It

I had a situation arise recently where I had made a mistake and needed to apologize.  I prayed about it and thought through what I wanted to say, and then thought to address it.  But I wasn't sure if I should call at this time or that time or whether it would be better to e-mail it or what (the person was far enough away that a face to face was not possible in the near future).  I sat there praying for guidance and this verse came to me. "So if when you are offering your gift at the altar you there remember that your brother has any grievance against you, Leave your gift at the altar and go.  First make peace with your brother, and then come back and present your gift."  (Matt 5:23,24) What a direct answer!  I heard God saying to me, "Enough procrastinating - get to it!"  I did, and was glad I did so.

I've been thinking about this more and realize how often I allow uncertainty to keep me from acting.  While I believe it is very important to seek God's guidance in my life, I can too easily use confusion or uncertainty as an excuse to procrastinate or avoid doing something altogether.  This verse reminds me that even time spent with God is not more important than seeking out someone I've harmed and asking forgiveness - and taking action in other ways as well.  I'm learning to seek guidance, and move forward unless I truly sense God guiding me not to do so. Life is much easier as I do what I need to do rather than spending so much time thinking about it first!  I've also seen that when God impresses me to do something, I usually get no further guidance until I've done as I've been instructed.  So, for today, I choose to "just DO it".

That advice goes for these posts, too.  They've been taking me so much time that sometimes I just don't get them done.  I realize some of that is the way I've been going back over and over to try to ensure I'm saying everything just right.  I need to just DO it.  If I make mistakes in what I post - whether in content or spelling or whatever - God is big enough to handle it.  I'm not perfect, but I know He can use even my imperfections to His glory.  Thank you, God! 

Thank you, Father, for such direct guidance when I need it!  I am so grateful that I can leave my life in your hands and that you care enough to direct me through my day.  You are amazing, Father! Your love, your forgiveness, your compassion - I am so grateful!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Relief

Funeral stuff and travel has kept me from updating this blog for a few days.  Hopefully things will be setting back to a more normal pace soon and I'll be better able to post more frequently again.  Today's post will be short, but I wanted to share about my experience this morning.

I was reading in Matthew chapter 5, and verse 19 really stood out to me.  "Whoever then breaks or does away with or relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches men to do so shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but he who practices them and teaches others to do so shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven."  What really stood out to me was the first part of this verse.  It doesn't say, ". . . shall be sent to hell" or something similar, it says ". . . shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven".

This is such a relief for me!  I don't care if I'm called "least", I just want to live in that kingdom!  I've often had a tendency to feel responsibility a little too keenly, and there have been times I've been afraid to share my spiritual walk for fear a misunderstanding on my part might lead others astray. God used this verse to speak to me today and say, "Just do your best to understand my will. I'll take the responsibility for the outcome."  Thank you, Father!  Your yoke is indeed easy and your burden light! I am grateful.

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