What Do You Hear?

Have you ever been driving and so busy talking or thinking that you suddenly realize you're about to drive past the exit you meant to take? Today I was thinking about how often I go through my day only semi-conscious.  I want to live in constant conscious contact with God, but too often, I am like that driver - too busy talking or thinking to hear that still small voice within. This is part of why spending focused daily time with God is so valuable. It trains me to listen. But I still have a long way to go to reach the goal of CONSTANT CONSCIOUS contact with God.

As I was thinking about this, I remembered the Bible talked about people who have "eyes and do not see and ears and do not hear". This clearly describes me when I'm walking around only partially aware because of being so focused on my own thoughts. There are several passages in the Bible that mention this (including Is 6:9,10; Jer 5:21), but I chose to look at the passage in Mark chapter 8.  In this passage, Jesus has just fed the 4000 and then after a short boat trip, ended up dealing with some Pharisees who wanted to argue with him and question him and get him to give them a sign to test him. After finally getting away from them, he got back into the boat and headed to to the other side of the lake.

As they were riding in the boat, the disciples were worrying about food because they realized they only had one loaf of bread with them.  Jesus kept telling them, "Look out; keep on your guard and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod and the Herodians."  The word translated leaven, specifically means "ferment (as if boiling up)", and often refers to yeast.  So the disciples, discussing His words among themselves, decided He was talking about the fact that they didn't have enough bread with them! 

It's pretty easy for me to condemn the disciples for this. After all, they had just witnessed the feeding of the 4000! How could they think he was worried about not having enough bread?  Jesus himself clearly thought they could have understood better.  He said to them, "Why are you reasoning and saying it is because you have no bread? Do you not yet discern or understand? Are your hearts in hardness? Having eyes, do you not see, and having ears do you not hear and perceive and understand the sense of what is said? and do you not remember?" (verses 17 & 18). He went on to ask them how many leftovers they collected after the feeding of the 5000, and how many after the feeding of the 4000, and verse 21 says, "And He kept repeating, Do you not yet understand?"

And yet, when I'm honest with myself, I have to admit how often I behave just like the disciples did.  I'm so worried about my own mundane concerns, that I forget that I know a God of miracles! Whether it's something physical like seeing a miracle unfold in my life, or something spiritual like a new idea unfolding in my understanding, I can so easily forget God's power and think I have to go it alone! Worse yet, I miss what God is trying to teach me in the present moment as I mull over my concerns of the day.  How foolish I am!  How often does God have to keep saying to me, "Do you not yet understand?"

Looking back over the story again, I see so many parallels.  With my eating challenge, often my thoughts are on food, just like the disciples were.  How often do these thoughts drown out that still small voice?  When I DO hear that voice, how long do I remember it?  Too often I am spiritually fed in my morning devotions and within a couple of hours, I could not tell you what I learned!  How can I condemn the disciples for those things that I do myself?  No wonder we are warned against judging others.  Like Jesus said, I have to first remove the beam from my own eye before I can help someone else with the speck in their own! (Matt 7:5)

Father, I am grateful for your patience with me! Thank you for inspiring me to write this blog so I can go back and re-read what I've learned from you while I learn to concentrate better and thus remember these things longer. Please tune up my hearing!  May I not just hear your voice for a moment in the morning, but may that conscious contact be with me throughout the day. And may I constantly remember that physical bread is not nearly as important as spiritual bread! Please guide my thoughts and actions and help me keep my priorities straight. Father, what do I need to do to keep my eyes focused on you instead of becoming absorbed in mundane tasks?

A passage from Deuteronomy chapter 6 comes to mind: "Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God is one Lord. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with your entire being and with all your might. And these words which I am commanding you this day shall be in your minds and hearts; You shall whet and sharpen them so as to make them penetrate, and teach and impress them diligently upon the hearts of your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets (forehead bands) between your eyes. And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates." (verses 4-9)

Love God with all your entire being and with all your might - Obviously, I do not yet love God with my entire being and all my might, or this would not be an issue. If I did, other things could not crowd out His voice.  Father, forgive me! Only you can relieve me of this bondage of selfishness and self-seeking that keeps me from loving fully.  Please remove these defects of character and fill me with your love. What would my life be like if ALL my "might" - ALL my energy - was spent in loving You? "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (I Cor 2:9)  I'm sure this is true, Father, I am excited to see what you have in store!

Whet and sharpen them to make them penetrate - How do I "whet and sharpen" these words so they penetrate?  I know part of that answer is personal application like I'm doing here.  It's not enough to just hear the words, but I have to think about what they mean for me personally.  And I have to admit to my errors, and allow myself to understand the seriousness of letting other things be my "gods" because I focus on them to the exclusion of God's voice. I cannot make excuses for myself - that is dulling the words, not sharpening them.

Teach and impress them diligently upon the hearts of your children - Since my daughter is grown and living her own life, I don't always have the opportunity to teach and impress them on her heart anymore - but I need to be open for whatever opportunities arise. I also need to be willing to recognize the other "children" God sends my way.  There are others who are younger in their faith and can thus be seen as spiritual children. Father, am I diligent in teaching them? Please continue to guide me in this.  Thank you for the opportunities you give, and for the blessings and miracles I've seen.

Talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up - It's not enough to just think about and talk about them once a day.  I'm developing a pretty good habit about doing it when I "rise up" - thank you, God, for our time together! But what about when I sit in my house and walk by the way and lie down?  That's not consistent - more hit and miss. That's what I'm seeking to learn to do here, Father - CONSTANT CONTACT with You. How do I develop these habits? I sometimes remember to check in throughout my day, but how do I make it a CONSTANT habit?  I'm being impressed that a good place to start is to expand my daily routine to include a specific "debriefing" time at the end of the day.  A time for God and me to review my day and see how things went - rejoicing in the victories and learning from the mistakes. This is something I've thought about for some time, but just haven't gotten around to actually doing.  Father, please increase my desire and willingness to create this habit.  Thank you!

And you shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets (forehead bands) between your eyes. And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates. - "Bind them as a sign upon your hand".  This could be a bracelet that has beads or charms that are reminders of specific things.  "Frontlets between your eyes"  - I realized as I was thinking about beads or charms that I have to get more clear about specifically WHAT it is that I want to remember from each morning devotional time.  I bet this is part of the "whet and sharpen" piece too. If I can think through what I've learned each day and distill it into one short phrase or sentence, it will be easier to remember. While I used to be able to remember anything without any conscious effort, I've seen in recent years that I need to concentrate on remembering something if it is to stick with me.  Why would this be any different? "And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Sounds a lot like the idea of sticky notes on my bathroom mirror and words on my walls! This reminds me of what I shared a few days ago - ideas I'd had to help me remember.  But it's not enough to have the ideas. I have to IMPLEMENT them! I can only remember doing one specific thing this week in this regard - the ATC I talked about here. Can I increase this frequency? Daily feels a bit overwhelming right now, but could I do one concrete action at least every other day? 

For today, I choose to love God with my whole being and all my might and to begin daily debriefing sessions. Father, grant me these miracles as you free me from the bondage of self. Please guide me as I seek to find a concrete way to remember this choice.  Thank you so much for feeding me daily!  I remember when I first realized my complacency about receiving daily spiritual bread, and how I chose to seek it daily.  There was a part of me that worried that the insights wouldn't come; that didn't trust that You knew how to speak in a way that I could hear you.  Forgive my lack of faith, and thank you so much for all you've given me.  I certainly haven't gone hungry since I started asking you for my daily (spiritual) bread and really meaning it! Father, please help me relinquish myself to your control so that my love for you can fill my WHOLE being and be ALL that I expend energy on! I'm excited to see what you have in store for me. Thank you, God!