This is the Day

The verse I woke up with this morning is from Psalms 118:24 - "This is the day which the Lord has brought about; we will rejoice and be glad in it."  What a good reminder to give thanks in all things!  When I think about it I realize that grumbling and complaining is like a slap in the face to God who is "making my paths straight" (Psalms 5:8).  How very rude of me to ask God to guide my life and then complain when He does!  Yet another reason to enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise (Psalms 100:4).

I think of the many times God talked about the murmuring and complaining of the Israelites.  I like to think I'm different, but if I am worrying and complaining about stuff, how different am I?  Verse 8 of Psalms 118 reminds me "It is better to trust and take refuge in the Lord than to put confidence in man."  I am SO grateful that I can do so! 

Father, thank you for being such a trustworthy God and for being my refuge!  Thank you so much for the blessings you give each day! Thank you for your guidance in my life. Forgive me for those times that I forget and start complaining and worrying!  I love you, Father and am SO grateful that you love me.  Thank you for your guidance this day - and every day.  Amen.

Gladness

I love the way God can bring new spiritual food out of the same texts I've read over and over!  Today, as I woke up and started thinking about my upcoming day, the new habits I've been developing started to kick in and I remembered that I wanted to start my day with praise to God.  I started singing Psalm 100 in my mind.  This time it was verse 2 that jumped out at me: "Serve the Lord with gladness. . . "

I had been glad when my friend asked me to put together the memory board for her husband's funeral.  I wanted do whatever I could to help, and this gave me something concrete to do.  This morning, as I recited that psalm, however, I suddenly realized two things. I recognized that by making this memory board for my friend, I was also serving God. And I realized that I hadn't been serving with gladness; I'd been serving with a bit of fear!  As I worked on this project, I had allowed myself to become concerned that I might inadvertently do something "wrong": use a picture she wouldn't like or that someone else would find non-flattering, mislabel something, upset someone by the use of too many pictures that included one person or another, leave someone or something out that someone thought should be there, etc.  Through all of that I was losing the gladness with which I had started my task.  

I remembered what my husband had said last night when I asked his opinion about something related to the memory board. He said, "I'm sure you've been praying about this as you worked on it, so I'm sure it will be fine."  He was right, I had been - I just let my concerns make me forget.  There's a song I learned in my childhood that says, "Why worry, when you can pray?"  That's such a good question!  For today I choose to let go of my concerns and serve with gladness in my heart.

Father, thank you for your loving guidance as I work to create this memory board for my friend.  May it be a blessing to her and her family. Thank you for the blessing it is for me to make it for her.  Thank you for showing me yet another reason why praise is so important as it takes away my fears and fills me with gladness.  Thank you, Father!

Amazing!

This morning I am once again in awe of God.  The food he gives me each morning is just perfect to meet my needs for the day.  Last night was the first opportunity to physically see my friend since her husband died so suddenly - and God gave me the perfect food in preparation for that experience. 

Since her husband's death, I have been asking God to show me how to be a good friend to her as she faces this huge change in her life. Yesterday, I was taken to the preface for a less common version of the Bible.  As I was reading it, there was a section that talked specifically about this very subject - being a good friend to one who is grieving.  Something that was said there really stood out to me.  It was something like this: Rather than pitying our friends who are grieving, we would be best to look up to them and see what we can learn from them.  As I read this message, I realized, YES! They are going through the "refiner's fire" (Mal 3:2) and learning important and valuable things through their experiences.  This made so much sense to me, though I had never thought of anything like it before.

So last night, I went to our meeting with an open heart, continuing to ask that God's love flow through me, and also that I be open and teachable. Wow! What a lesson! There were INDEED important things for me to learn from my friend.  She taught me so much last night about how to "love your neighbor as yourself." (Lev 19:18, Matt 22:39) She did not have all her focus on herself and her grief, neither did she have all her focus on trying to help her friends feel better.  She simply expressed love that encompassed both.  Here are a couple of specific things I learned.

1. Feel your feelings and express them.  When I hold them in, as I so often tend to do, I keep myself shut off from those around me.  They care, but may find it hard to express that caring when they don't know where I'm at.
2. Trust your friends to care and let them know what you need.  I have such a hard time letting others in sometimes!  When I'm hurting, though I long for the comfort of friends, too often my choice is to hole up by myself and hide from the world.  As my friend asked different ones of us for things she wanted and needed from us, she honored each of us as friends that wanted to be there for her. It meant so much to us, and I believe it helped her as well.  How much better would my life be if I opened up more to allow others to express their God-given love for me?  Can I learn to be that gracious.  To understand and know that others want to help but may not know how?  Can I open my arms to them to let them know I welcome their hugs and their love?

Father, this morning as I think through the lessons that you taught me through my friend last night, I am so grateful!  Thank you for such timely guidance, encouraging me to be open to learning and looking for what my friend had to teach me.  I've learned much about the value of humility this week as I've admitted my desire to be a good friend to the grieving, along with my fear that I didn't know how best to do that and that I might cause hurt instead. You've brought teachers through books and conversations. And you've shown me much more about what it means for us to all be one as I've wept both for the loss I feel, and for my friend and her pain. Thank you for the friends you have given, and the way I feel your love through them.  Thank you for your continued blessings on all of us!  I love you, Father!

Make A Joyful Noise

This morning I woke up with a dream that was more like a mild nightmare.  I don't remember too much about it except that it involved bodyguards and betrayal.  When I awoke, I wondered why I would have such a dream when I've been focusing so much of my time on spiritual things.  As I asked the question, I began to pray for guidance.  The answer came right away - "They put their faith in the 'god of fortresses'" (Dan 11:38).  Okay, but what does that have to do with me? "You put your faith in the god of fortresses, too." When do I do this, Father? "When you put your faith in anything but me - for example, when you trust your DIET to protect you from illness and restore you to health and proper weight instead of trusting Me."  Father, forgive me! May I turn to YOU for all things!

As I continued praying, the words of Psalms 100 again came into mind, and I started praying them as a prayer of thanksgiving to God. The King James puts it this way:

"Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing. Knew ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves: we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.  For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations." 

As I prayed And I realized something new. For some time I've been pondering the reason for all the admonitions to praise God.  It seemed immediately obvious to me that the reason had more to do with us that with God.  My experience of God tells me that He does the things He does for me out of love, not because he expects thanks in return.  It also tells me that He does not have a big ego that needs to be fed by having us all praise and worship Him.  So why the need for praise?  I have realized for some time that cultivating an attitude of gratitude just plain makes life go better, and I figured that was part of it.  Today, I understand another part.  As we develop a habit of praising God, we are changing at depth.  This habit of praise continually reminds us of God's power, His love, His goodness, His strength. So, when we are hit with trouble or challenge in our lives, we are much less likely to turn to the god of fortresses.  Why would we do that when we serve a God who is all-powerful and so loving?

Thank you, Father, for the reminder that there are many reasons that you lead us the way you do.  Some we may discern right away, others may take a long time to see - if we ever do on this earthly plane.  Knowing the "why" doesn't matter. Obedience matters - not because You are a God ready to pounce on us if we don't, but because Your leading guides us to the way of Life!  Thank you, Father! Thank you!  I am so grateful for Your leading in my life! I am so grateful for Your patience with my impertinent questions! I am so grateful for Your love! I am so grateful for Your power and strength in my life! 

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

A friend of mine has been on my mind a great deal.  She just lost her husband of many years - who died rather unexpectedly. It was very shocking to all of us who loved him - but especially to her.  As I've prayed for her and her family, I've been wondering how I can be the best friend I can be.  Nothing will bring him back, but are there things I can do that can ease the burden, even a little?  I CERTAINLY don't want to do anything that might make it worse!

As I thought about this, I thought about the story of Job.  In the space of a few minutes he lost nearly everything that mattered to him - not only his possessions, but ALL of his children!  What a shocking blow! Not long after this, he was hit with some disease that caused him to have painful boils all over his body!  How much can one person take?  His friends came to visit and support him in his grief, but the things most of them said to him just made things worse.  I decided to re-read the story to learn what I could about what NOT to do (as well as anything I might glean about what TO do) as I seek to bring some small measure of comfort to my friend.

I sat down and read the book of Job in one sitting so I could get an overview of the full story.  I read with these questions in my mind: "What did Job's friends do that Job experienced as helpful? What did they do that increased Job's pain?"

The first thing Job's friends did was sit with him for 7 days saying absolutely nothing because they recognized the depth of Job's suffering was beyond words.  This appears to be something that helped Job - or at least did not cause him any extra pain.  Sometimes this is what will best serve - just be there and keep my mouth shut!

When they opened their mouths was when they got into trouble!  It sounds like they spent most of their time trying to answer the question, "Why did this happen?"  This is a question many of us ask from time to time.  It's a natural human question. Sometimes I think we're a bit like two-year-old's in our relationship with God. Our tendency to ask "why?" about every little thing, is another example of this.  In thinking about it, I realize that when I ask this question, at core I'm indicating a lack of trust that God knows what He's doing - perhaps even a calling Him to task for His behavior! How arrogant of me! God's understanding is so much beyond mine that I suspect, even if He wanted to answer such an audacious question, I would too often not be able to understand it. How much better if I can just trust that God is in charge, and say with Job, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!" (Job 1:21)  Of course, even this, is more of an internal thing, rather than something to say to my friend.  I suspect that open arms and a closed mouth may serve her better.

Job's friends didn't have the answer to that question either, so they started doing something that seems pretty horrible in retrospect - they started making assumptions about Job!  They assumed he MUST have done something terrible to deserve all the pain he was going through - and told him so!  As I think about this, my reaction is, "Even I know better than that!"  But do I really? While I would never even think such a thing about my friend, let alone say it, how often have I beaten MYSELF up when things didn't go the way I had hoped or expected, figuring I MUST somehow be to blame?  Isn't that the same thing? 

Father, thank you that I can trust you to do all things well.  Thank you that when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you are with me and comfort me! (Ps 23:4) Thank you that I don't have to take so much responsibility on my shoulders, but can just follow your guidance and trust you with the results!  And thank you for the timely phone call that I just received that told me something concrete that I can do for my friend!  I love you, Lord! You supply all my needs - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual! I am so grateful!

Food Choices

There are many different types of meals. Some days in my walk with God, the "daily bread" I receive comes in the form of a normal breakfast - food for thought for a normal day.  It may be nothing particularly profound or earth shattering, but it gives me needed reminders and ideas for my day, and I am grateful!

Other days I am given a FEAST!  The food comes so generously and so fast it feels like I cannot take it all in.  As feasts are usually a shared experience, often these feasts have involved sharing the meal with others.  Metaphorically, I get to see what they're eating and they tell me how well they are enjoying it, while I get to eat my own choices and share about them.  Sometimes, we might even share some things off one another's plate, or say, "Where was that? I'll have to go get some too!"

Today I experienced a different sort of meal.  I liken it to a "tea".  The portions were more dainty than usual, but there have been several "courses" of delightful tidbits that all add up to a surprisingly filling meal.  Undoubtedly, not all teas are the same, but I'm remembering a formal tea that I attended with friends.  The servings were small.  At first we looked at each other as if to say, "Is this all?" But as each course was followed by the next, soon we were all saying, "I couldn't eat another bite!"

One of the tidbits today, was about "food".  I was reminded about the very FIRST food choices.  The story of the Garden of Eden speaks specifically to a very important choice.  One tree we are not to eat from is described in chapter 2 of Genesis. It is called the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  It seems a strange name for a tree - and as such, it calls for more contemplation.

It seems like it would be easier to understand this tree if it were called the tree of the knowledge of EVIL.  I could certainly understand the need to leave such a tree entirely alone.  But this tree has something to do with the knowledge of GOOD, too!  What does it mean to eat from this tree?

Is it possible that our whole focus on defining things as either good or evil is eating from this tree?  We're told "judge not" (Matt 7:1). Is this a part of that picture?  Though I want to follow Jesus advice to "judge not", it is such second nature for me to do so. Those clothes look good, those look bad. This food is good for me, that is bad.  These ideas are good, those are bad. Even when it comes to my own spiritual food, it is easy to begin worrying "Is this really from You, Father? Is it really good, or is it bad"?  I am so grateful Father, that you promise that if we ask you for a fish, You will NOT give us a serpent! (Luke 11:11)

There were two trees in that garden - the Tree of Life, and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  The first was nourishing, the second brought death.  We no longer have access to the Tree of Life, but that doesn't mean we need to FEAST from the other tree!  We have been given another option! We have been given the Bread of Life.

Father, thank you for these and so many other blessings!  You could have given up on us. You could have said, well, they made their choice!  But that is not the sort of God that you are.  Just as we know that a child may not fully understand the dangers when we warn them against doing something dangerous, you know how immature we are and you love us enough to find a way to save us despite our foolish choices.  Thank you so much for sending us the Bread of Life.  I can't begin to imagine the sacrifice that was, and the pain you've gone through as we so often behave like rebellious two year olds!  Father, cleanse me from my tendency to judge!  May I keep my eye on YOU.  May I simply keep my mind on the Bread of Life instead of seeking to know what is good and what is evil.  May I be open to YOUR leading in my life.

As I write these words, I realize something else.  Part of my tendency to judge things good and evil comes straight from my rebellious heart.  If I know exactly where that line between the two is, then I can walk as close to the edge as possible without stepping into dangerous territory.  But the edge IS dangerous territory! It's ALL eating from that tree!  It's making that tree my god instead of my Heavenly Father. And I see that too often I've done this when it comes to my physical food choices. 

Father, rather than seeking to discern what is good and what is bad in the way of physical food for my body so that I can walk close to that edge, I want to be fully cleansed of rebellion and to look to you for guidance and healing.  Rather than looking for that which is good/bad, better/worse, etc. I simply want what is most nourishing for me each day.  I don't need or want to walk along that edge!  Please guide my feet to the center of your will - both in terms of physical food, and in terms of all my thoughts and actions.  May I not be tempted to judge, but leave all judgment to you and instead be content to follow you without arguing!  Thank you, Father!

Our Father

As I continue my spiritual journey, I often pray "The Lord's Prayer" (Matt 6:9-13). I figure I have no better example of how to pray than that which Jesus Himself gave us!  Today, as I was reciting The Lord's Prayer, a couple of things stood out to me. 

First, what does "hallowed be thy name" really mean for ME?  I don't want to just be praying this prayer by rote.  I want to pray it with genuine meaning! 

First, this seems to me to be a form of praise, so is a reminder to start my prayer with praise and to remember to be thankful in all things! It's so easy to fall into a habit of always asking for things as I come to understand how MUCH I need my Father, but an attitude of gratitude is SO important in my life! Father, thank you so much for all you do for me! I am grateful for the physical things - for food and clothes and housing and more; for life and health and strength. Even more, I am grateful for the non-physical things - for serenity where I used to have confusion and anxiety, for love where I used to have fear, for acceptance and forgiveness where I used to have guilt. For all these things and so much more, I am grateful, Father! Truly you ARE a God of miracles! May I always remember to be grateful, Father! 

As I looked up this passage and studied further, I read that the word "hallowed" was the opposite of "common".  If something is common, it isn't seen as particularly valuable.  When we think of collecting coins or stamps, for example, it is the rare that is really sought after and seen as valuable. So, this phrase reminds me to not take God for granted - to remember how amazing it is that One so powerful and all-knowing and righteous is willing to adopt ME into His family and provide for my needs!  Father, may I always be in awe of your love and your grace and your generosity! May I never again take you for granted.

Another thought comes to me.  Perhaps another opposite of hallowed is "dishonored". It's not that uncommon for children to disgrace their earthly father's name by behaving in dishonorable ways. Father, may my words and actions honor your name! Please keep me from dishonoring you! 

The other phrase that stood out to me was "forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors". I realized that in my mind, I always thought of this as saying, "forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us".  While that is probably a part of the meaning, the words here are debts and debtors.  I felt I had something more to learn.

If someone feels indebted to me (or if I feel someone is indebted to me) it has to do either with having loaned them something, or having done something of value for them.  As humans, we expect others to re-pay their loans and to appreciate and try to reciprocate when we do something of value for them.  Forgiving our debtors sounds to me like not only letting go of grudges, but also letting go of such expectations. That's not always easy! Father, may I always remember that all I have and am comes from you, so others cannot be indebted to me - if they are indebted, it is to YOU! May I be so filled with your love and so in contact with you that in my interactions with others they see you through me and are filled with gratitude to YOU. Thank you, Father.

As I was praying for increased understanding of debts, debtors and forgiveness, I decided to read in a devotional called "For Today".  A quote from Aesop jumped out at me. "Men often bear little grievances with less courage than they do large misfortunes." I realized how often I whine and complain about "little grievances".  When someone does something particularly heinous, it's so big and in my face that I know right away I must seek God's help to forgive them.  But the little things?  Too often I don't even really recognize the need for forgiveness and choose to whine instead.  Father, forgive me!

Father, I am so grateful to you for my Daily Bread; for your willingness to be there for me and feed my soul.  Father, may these not just be words, but may they go deep into my heart and take root, growing to fill my heart so selfishness and self-seeking can no longer find a home there.  Thank you, Father!

Take Heed

Today, I awoke with Psalms 100:4 running through my head: "Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise."

This advice was not easy for me to follow this morning as I felt a great deal of sorrow - not just due to the death of our friend, but also because of the way I had behaved yesterday.  When lunch-time came, I didn't feel like fixing anything.  My husband was gone for most of the day, so it was just me and I was grieving the loss of my friend and the pain his wife was going through.  I remembered I had bought some crackers that I had intended to serve the night before with the soup I made, but when the time came, they didn't even cross my mind and never got put on the table.  They sounded awfully good - comfort food you know.  A little voice whispered to me, "You know they don't have that much nutrition in them. Why don't you have that leftover soup?"  But I said to that voice, "I don't care. They sound good. I'll eat them with an orange for added nutrition."  Not only did I do that, but when supper time came around, I still wasn't willing to warm up the soup, but instead just ate more crackers.

My intent in sharing this is not to debate the relative nutrition of various foods, but simply to acknowledge the fact that I made food my god yesterday.  God reminded me of my choice to honor my body as His temple and feed it more nourishing foods, and I told Him I didn't care! How could I do such a thing after enjoying such a spiritual feast at His table the day before, and again enjoying my daily bread that very morning?  I felt so demoralized and sorrowful this morning as I realized what I had done! 

God in His mercy, reminded me of a truth I have come to recognize in the past - and demonstrated so thoroughly yesterday.  It's summed up in I Cor 10:12: "Therefore let anyone who thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall."  When I am facing challenging circumstances, I tend to be more aware of the possibility of "falling" and thus, more conscious of my need to rely on God.  It is when things are going well, that I need to be most on my guard! 

I think I may have first become aware of this phenomenon when I took a hard look at my tendency to overeat several years ago.  I knew that I had a tendency to overeat when dealing with things that were difficult for me to handle emotionally, and that I needed to learn better ways of handling challenges if I were to overcome this character defect.  As I watched myself, however, I began to discover that  it wasn't just hard times that triggered my overeating.  I was just as likely to overeat when things were going really well and I was feeling extra good!  That was a bit of a shock, but true nonetheless.

There are plenty of examples in the Bible of this phenomenon as well.  This morning, several were brought to mind.  One example was that of Peter. Jesus told him that before the day was out he would deny Jesus 3 times.  Peter didn't believe that for a moment - but it turned out to be true.  This story was so comforting to me this morning.  I'm not the only one who has denied my Lord! Peter did it and was clearly forgiven and able to move past it.  I hear God's gentle voice in my mind asking me, "Lovest me more than these?" and I can only reply as Peter did, "Lord, you know that I love you!" (John 21:15-17)

Father, thank you for your love and your power in my life.  Forgive me for not being willing to accept it yesterday when it was offered! Please continue your work in my life, helping me both to will and to do of your good pleasure!

Returning to the verse I woke up with, it is part of a very short psalm that I have memorized - just 5 short verses. In the Amplified Bible it goes like this:

"Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all you lands!  Serve the Lord with gladness! Come before His presence with singing!  Know (perceive, recognize, and understand with approval) that the Lord is God! It is He Who has made us, not we ourselves! We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.  Enter into His gates with thanksgiving and a thank offering and into His courts with praise! Be thankful and say so to Him, bless and affectionately praise His name! For the Lord is good; His mercy and loving-kindness are everlasting.  His faithfulness and truth endure to all generations."

5 short verses, but they are SO powerful.  I am so grateful to remember that He recognizes me as one of His sheep.  Having never owned sheep, I decided to do a little research on sheep behavior. I came across this article. It made for some interesting reading, as I continually asked myself, how am I like a sheep? 

One of the things I note is that with sheep, much of their day is spent eating and "chewing their cud", and if a sheep isn't doing this, it's a sign of illness. I suspect I could spend more time doing this.  The more time I spend "chewing my cud" - continuing throughout my day to consciously "chew on" the daily bread I've eaten in the morning, ruminating on it, the better off I will be! 

Sheep also tend to be followers - this can get them into trouble, or it can be good for them depending on whom or what they are following. Clearly I will be better off as I become better at following my Shepherd. 

Sheep also are members of a flock, liking to make sure they are with several of their kind all the time.  Isolating behavior is a sign of illness. I've certainly seen in my life that isolating behavior is a sign of illness and tends to go along with a tendency to overeat.  There's a difference between being alone and isolating.  I spend a great deal of time alone, but usually it is not isolating behavior. For example, I may talk to friends and family on the phone or via the internet, or I may be working on projects designed to share with others. There HAVE been times when I've isolated, however.  At those times I've refused to answer the phone or the door, kept my drapes closed, and hid out in my house hoping to avoid people.  I am reminded that it is important to spend time with like-minded people, and I am so grateful for friends, family, and internet acquaintances who help fill this need.

For today, I'm thankful God recognizes and understands my sheep-like behavior and leads me lovingly as the good Shepherd that he is!  Father, thank you so much for your guidance in my life and your willingness to continue to lead me - even when I am willful!  Thank you for the reminder that I cannot let up my guard just because things are going well, but instead need to "take heed" at those times. Thank you for your forgiveness in my life and your power for change.  I ask that You change me at depth so that Your will becomes mine and my thoughts and actions are guided by Your will at all times. I ask for you to indeed be my Shepherd, running interference as needed between me and those things which are not for my best good.  Thank you, Father, for continuing the work in me that You have begun!  You indeed ARE good, and Your mercy is indeed everlasting. I am so grateful!

Gratitude

This morning I am so grateful to God for feeding me!  The food he gave me yesterday upheld me through a very challenging time. Just before guests were to arrive, I got word that someone we cared for a great deal was dead.  In the space of less than two weeks he went from being fairly active, to struggling for breath as he fought acute leukemia, to death!

With the stress of the news and no time to digest it before guests arrived, a common reaction on my part would have been to overeat. And yet, even though guests brought snacks that often would have been quite tempting, I ate a temperate meal and did not snack later. Thank you, Father, for this miracle in my life!

Our friend's death leaves such a big hole in our lives, and my heart bleeds for his wife and family. As I think of what it must take for a wife to carry on after such an event, I hurt for his wife and begin to pray for her.

And then I remember what I was told before in Phil 1: 3, 4. "I thank my God in all my remembrance of you. In every prayer of mine I always make my entreaty and petition for you with all joy (delight)." (emphasis mine).  At times like this, it can be a real challenge to follow the advice of scripture to "rejoice in the Lord always" (Phil 4:4).  And yet, we are told, ". . . the joy of the Lord is your strength."  (Neh 8:10)  Of course, I don't think this means we are not ever to express sorrow.  Ecc 3:4 assures us there IS a time to weep. But I DO know that at times like this I really need God's strength!  

Thank you, Father for more food for this day! Thank you for the knowledge that you do all things well and we can trust in you, no matter what the circumstances of our lives.

Bread

I didn't get my posting done yesterday because I was being fed so much that the morning was gone before I knew it.  I am so grateful for your comments.  They help take me deeper in my spiritual walk.

I DID want to share some of the ideas I gleaned from my own study yesterday, however, so will back-date this to Friday since that's when I was thinking about this topic.

The topic of bread has been coming up a lot for me lately, and I've been doing a lot of meditating on the idea of my daily bread and the "Bread of Life".  I've been reading in John chapter 6. The story begins as crowds are following Jesus because of His miracles of healing.  Jesus sees the large crowd and feeds them. Then, realizing that they're planning to take him by force and make him king, he heads up to a mountain to be alone. 

The thought comes to me - how would I react?  It's so easy to conform to what "the people" want.  And yet, I remember a situation I was in where people were putting me on a pedestal and I disliked it so much that I quit rather than have that behavior continue.  At first I feel pretty good about this, thinking to myself, "Okay, that shows that I wouldn't let other people's behavior go to my head and get me to do something that isn't good for me." But then I realize, that's not true.  In the example I just gave, I DID let their behavior get me to do something.  It was the opposite of what they wanted, but their behavior was still a large factor in my decision, and I didn't seek God's guidance as sincerely as I should have before making my choice.  Jesus made it quite clear that His words and actions were based solely in His Father's guidance. And, what did Jesus do when he went to be "alone"? Undoubtedly he was communing with his Father.  And He didn't remain hidden in the mountain. He came back down and continued to interact with the people.  Father, forgive me for not seeking your guidance and following it in all things.  Please continue to work in me to do of your good pleasure!

Next, we have Jesus walking on the water to meet his disciples in the boat, and taking them to shore.  The people, seeing that Jesus and his disciples have left, took to their own boats and followed! When they caught up, they asked Jesus how he got there (presumably knowing he hadn't gotten in the boat when the disciples did).  Jesus sidestepped the question, and instead questioned their motives. (Would I have done this, or would I have been tempted to share the miracle of water walking, saying to myself, "It's not bragging. They asked!" Father, forgive me for this pride in me.  Please cleanse me and make me completely yours! May I remember to check in with you constantly so the words I speak are yours.  Thank you!)  Jesus knew these were not people who were seeking healing - they simply recognized an opportunity - they wanted a free meal. He called them on it.  What about me? What are my priorities? I pray they may be focused on the lasting rather than simply my own comfort.

Continuing the story, I discover they ask him a question that has often been on my own mind (verse 28), "What are we to do, that we may be working the works of God?"  I eagerly read Jesus' reply.  "This is the work that God asks of you: that you believe in the One whom He has sent." (verse 29)  Sounds simple enough - but how often I forget to trust and let life's daily worries crowd out my faith!  I have to pray with the father in Mark 9:24 - "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" (NIV)  The people he was dealing with however immediately requested a sign.  In fact, they wanted it to be like that of Moses providing manna in the wilderness!  This makes it plain that Jesus was right.  They're only interested in the physical bread, not the "Bread of Life".  Father, thank you that I am learning the value of spiritual bread! May it continue to increase in value in me.

Well, I was being so wonderfully fed, between the things I've shared here and other things that came as folks shared through comments on my blog, that before I knew it it was lunch time and I hadn't eaten breakfast!  One of the things I believe I've been shown is that for me, it is very important to eat breakfast (as a way of helping to control my tendency to eat more than I should).  When I eat a good breakfast, I am much more likely to eat in a healthy way throughout the day.  When I don't, I'm much more likely to binge.  So, I was a bit concerned when I realized that I had inadvertently skipped breakfast. 

As I was thinking this, I started to realize that though the focus of this passage in John is spiritual, there may also be some valuable insights regarding physical meals. As I re-read verse 63, these words stood out to me, "It is the Spirit Who gives life; the flesh conveys no benefit whatever."  Immediately, a couple more verses popped into my head - both things that Jesus said.  The first, "Man shall not live by bread alone . . . ". The Amplified Bible puts it, "Man shall not live and be upheld and sustained by bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God." (Matt 4:4)  The second is John 4:31 and 32. "Meanwhile the disciples urged Him saying, Rabbi, eat something.  But He assured them, I have food (nourishment) to eat of which you know nothing and have no idea." (John 4: 31,32) 

One of the things I've been concerned about on the physical plane, is the idea of supplements. Science tells us that due to depleted soils, our food no longer has as many of the vitamins and minerals as it once did, and suggests that supplements are necessary because of this.  Reading these verses suggests to me that by far, the most important supplement, is spiritual bread.  Or perhaps it is designed to be our main course!  What if the physical nourishment my body needs and has clearly been missing (as evidenced by the fact that my body has no longer been able to maintain a healthy weight and has various aches and pains), was MEANT to come from my daily communion with God - from my daily spiritual bread? 

So, for today, I trust God for both my spiritual and physical bread.  I have missed my physical breakfast, but FEASTED on the spiritual this morning.  I trust God to see me safely through the rest of the day.  Thank you, God!

What Do You Hear?

Have you ever been driving and so busy talking or thinking that you suddenly realize you're about to drive past the exit you meant to take? Today I was thinking about how often I go through my day only semi-conscious.  I want to live in constant conscious contact with God, but too often, I am like that driver - too busy talking or thinking to hear that still small voice within. This is part of why spending focused daily time with God is so valuable. It trains me to listen. But I still have a long way to go to reach the goal of CONSTANT CONSCIOUS contact with God.

As I was thinking about this, I remembered the Bible talked about people who have "eyes and do not see and ears and do not hear". This clearly describes me when I'm walking around only partially aware because of being so focused on my own thoughts. There are several passages in the Bible that mention this (including Is 6:9,10; Jer 5:21), but I chose to look at the passage in Mark chapter 8.  In this passage, Jesus has just fed the 4000 and then after a short boat trip, ended up dealing with some Pharisees who wanted to argue with him and question him and get him to give them a sign to test him. After finally getting away from them, he got back into the boat and headed to to the other side of the lake.

As they were riding in the boat, the disciples were worrying about food because they realized they only had one loaf of bread with them.  Jesus kept telling them, "Look out; keep on your guard and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod and the Herodians."  The word translated leaven, specifically means "ferment (as if boiling up)", and often refers to yeast.  So the disciples, discussing His words among themselves, decided He was talking about the fact that they didn't have enough bread with them! 

It's pretty easy for me to condemn the disciples for this. After all, they had just witnessed the feeding of the 4000! How could they think he was worried about not having enough bread?  Jesus himself clearly thought they could have understood better.  He said to them, "Why are you reasoning and saying it is because you have no bread? Do you not yet discern or understand? Are your hearts in hardness? Having eyes, do you not see, and having ears do you not hear and perceive and understand the sense of what is said? and do you not remember?" (verses 17 & 18). He went on to ask them how many leftovers they collected after the feeding of the 5000, and how many after the feeding of the 4000, and verse 21 says, "And He kept repeating, Do you not yet understand?"

And yet, when I'm honest with myself, I have to admit how often I behave just like the disciples did.  I'm so worried about my own mundane concerns, that I forget that I know a God of miracles! Whether it's something physical like seeing a miracle unfold in my life, or something spiritual like a new idea unfolding in my understanding, I can so easily forget God's power and think I have to go it alone! Worse yet, I miss what God is trying to teach me in the present moment as I mull over my concerns of the day.  How foolish I am!  How often does God have to keep saying to me, "Do you not yet understand?"

Looking back over the story again, I see so many parallels.  With my eating challenge, often my thoughts are on food, just like the disciples were.  How often do these thoughts drown out that still small voice?  When I DO hear that voice, how long do I remember it?  Too often I am spiritually fed in my morning devotions and within a couple of hours, I could not tell you what I learned!  How can I condemn the disciples for those things that I do myself?  No wonder we are warned against judging others.  Like Jesus said, I have to first remove the beam from my own eye before I can help someone else with the speck in their own! (Matt 7:5)

Father, I am grateful for your patience with me! Thank you for inspiring me to write this blog so I can go back and re-read what I've learned from you while I learn to concentrate better and thus remember these things longer. Please tune up my hearing!  May I not just hear your voice for a moment in the morning, but may that conscious contact be with me throughout the day. And may I constantly remember that physical bread is not nearly as important as spiritual bread! Please guide my thoughts and actions and help me keep my priorities straight. Father, what do I need to do to keep my eyes focused on you instead of becoming absorbed in mundane tasks?

A passage from Deuteronomy chapter 6 comes to mind: "Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God is one Lord. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with your entire being and with all your might. And these words which I am commanding you this day shall be in your minds and hearts; You shall whet and sharpen them so as to make them penetrate, and teach and impress them diligently upon the hearts of your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets (forehead bands) between your eyes. And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates." (verses 4-9)

Love God with all your entire being and with all your might - Obviously, I do not yet love God with my entire being and all my might, or this would not be an issue. If I did, other things could not crowd out His voice.  Father, forgive me! Only you can relieve me of this bondage of selfishness and self-seeking that keeps me from loving fully.  Please remove these defects of character and fill me with your love. What would my life be like if ALL my "might" - ALL my energy - was spent in loving You? "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (I Cor 2:9)  I'm sure this is true, Father, I am excited to see what you have in store!

Whet and sharpen them to make them penetrate - How do I "whet and sharpen" these words so they penetrate?  I know part of that answer is personal application like I'm doing here.  It's not enough to just hear the words, but I have to think about what they mean for me personally.  And I have to admit to my errors, and allow myself to understand the seriousness of letting other things be my "gods" because I focus on them to the exclusion of God's voice. I cannot make excuses for myself - that is dulling the words, not sharpening them.

Teach and impress them diligently upon the hearts of your children - Since my daughter is grown and living her own life, I don't always have the opportunity to teach and impress them on her heart anymore - but I need to be open for whatever opportunities arise. I also need to be willing to recognize the other "children" God sends my way.  There are others who are younger in their faith and can thus be seen as spiritual children. Father, am I diligent in teaching them? Please continue to guide me in this.  Thank you for the opportunities you give, and for the blessings and miracles I've seen.

Talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up - It's not enough to just think about and talk about them once a day.  I'm developing a pretty good habit about doing it when I "rise up" - thank you, God, for our time together! But what about when I sit in my house and walk by the way and lie down?  That's not consistent - more hit and miss. That's what I'm seeking to learn to do here, Father - CONSTANT CONTACT with You. How do I develop these habits? I sometimes remember to check in throughout my day, but how do I make it a CONSTANT habit?  I'm being impressed that a good place to start is to expand my daily routine to include a specific "debriefing" time at the end of the day.  A time for God and me to review my day and see how things went - rejoicing in the victories and learning from the mistakes. This is something I've thought about for some time, but just haven't gotten around to actually doing.  Father, please increase my desire and willingness to create this habit.  Thank you!

And you shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets (forehead bands) between your eyes. And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates. - "Bind them as a sign upon your hand".  This could be a bracelet that has beads or charms that are reminders of specific things.  "Frontlets between your eyes"  - I realized as I was thinking about beads or charms that I have to get more clear about specifically WHAT it is that I want to remember from each morning devotional time.  I bet this is part of the "whet and sharpen" piece too. If I can think through what I've learned each day and distill it into one short phrase or sentence, it will be easier to remember. While I used to be able to remember anything without any conscious effort, I've seen in recent years that I need to concentrate on remembering something if it is to stick with me.  Why would this be any different? "And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Sounds a lot like the idea of sticky notes on my bathroom mirror and words on my walls! This reminds me of what I shared a few days ago - ideas I'd had to help me remember.  But it's not enough to have the ideas. I have to IMPLEMENT them! I can only remember doing one specific thing this week in this regard - the ATC I talked about here. Can I increase this frequency? Daily feels a bit overwhelming right now, but could I do one concrete action at least every other day? 

For today, I choose to love God with my whole being and all my might and to begin daily debriefing sessions. Father, grant me these miracles as you free me from the bondage of self. Please guide me as I seek to find a concrete way to remember this choice.  Thank you so much for feeding me daily!  I remember when I first realized my complacency about receiving daily spiritual bread, and how I chose to seek it daily.  There was a part of me that worried that the insights wouldn't come; that didn't trust that You knew how to speak in a way that I could hear you.  Forgive my lack of faith, and thank you so much for all you've given me.  I certainly haven't gone hungry since I started asking you for my daily (spiritual) bread and really meaning it! Father, please help me relinquish myself to your control so that my love for you can fill my WHOLE being and be ALL that I expend energy on! I'm excited to see what you have in store for me. Thank you, God!

As you think . . .

Today I was reading again in the book, "Voices of Recovery".  It talked about how we can't afford to talk or fantasize about specific foods that we might like - or crave.  That just hurts our chances of overcoming the tendency to overeat.  It reminded me of a verse from Proverbs that says "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." (Prov 23:7)

Reading more in that chapter I came across this in verse 17: "Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord all the day long."  It is so easy to envy those who seemingly can eat anything they want with no adverse effects. But we all have our challenges in this life.  This is mine, and I'll bet I'd rather not deal with theirs!  I can trust God that even the challenges I have in my life are mine for a reason and dealing with them will bring my best good.

Continuing on with my reading I come to this startling verse (21 -- reading from the New Century Version this time), "Those who drink and eat too much become poor.  They sleep too much and end up wearing rags."  Now, there's plain speaking!  I know if I overeat, I do indeed become sleepy and lethargic.  Here's one more reason to overcome my tendency to eat more than is good for me.

Father, "may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer." (Ps 19:14) I know you can give me the strength to overcome. May my words and thoughts be filled with you, rather than with food!  Thank you, Father. I am so grateful for your many miracles in my life and the many blessings you give.  Thank you for giving me my daily bread and for helping me to understand that spiritual bread is so much more important than physical bread. Amen.

Thinking . . .

Today I've been reading in Philippians chapter 4. I particularly note verses 4 - 8:

Verse 4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, Rejoice!"  Wow! To ALWAYS rejoice is something I have not yet mastered. And yet, I know that to truly remember and know that God is in charge and that He does all things well, regardless of what they look like to my human eyes, is such a blessing. And it is this that will enable me to ALWAYS rejoice in the Lord. 

Verse 5 - "Let all men know and perceive and recognize your unselfishness (your considerateness, your forbearing spirit). The Lord is near."  For everyone to be able to perceive and recognize my unselfishness, my considerateness, and my forbearing spirit, I have to first BE these things.  Father, thank you that you are near as I seek to incorporate these more fully into my life. Please change me at depth so that these attributes are descriptive of the whole of me, not merely part of the time.

Verses 6 & 7 - "Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God's peace which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  Here's another verse that helps me understand how to truly live verse 4 and always rejoice.  I let go of anxiety by making my wants known to God by concrete requests in prayer and THANKSGIVING.  That attitude of gratitude is so important! I know the difference it makes in my life when I actively cultivate it!  This is also a wonderful promise - that God's peace that transcends all understanding will guard our hearts.  No wonder we feel like rejoicing!  I've had times where I've seen this promise fulfilled so plainly in my life; where circumstances were such that my normal self would be very worried, but where instead I've had peace and joy.  This is such a miracle.  Thank you, God!  May I remember to always look for that for which I can be grateful, and to pray with faith and trust in you that I may live more fully in the state of peace and serenity you promise here.

Verse 8 - "For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things."  This verse is jam-packed full of good advice about what things are worthy of our attention and thought - and what will enable us to REJOICE IN ALL THINGS.  I'll take each item individually.

Whatever is true - What does it take for something to be true? Certainly, by definition, a lie is not true, so lies are to be avoided.  But as I read this part of the verse, I started wondering, "Does this mean I should never have anything to do with works of fiction?"  While true stories can often be VERY inspiring, I've also found myself really fed by works of fiction - surely this isn't saying to toss them all out?  As I asked these questions, a verse popped into my mind, from Matthew (13:34) ". . .without a parable spake he not unto them." We're told that Jesus did all of his teaching to the multitudes in parables - and Strong's Concordance defines a parable as a "fictitious narrative".  So clearly, this verse is not saying we should never think about works of fiction.  Looking up the word "true" in Strong's concordance clarifies that the word translated true in this verse includes the meaning of "not concealing".  So much for what's sometimes thought of as "lying by omission"!  I was reading something today that talked about this very thing, taking this thought even farther.  Too often when we are upset by something someone has said or done, we focus only on the negative with regard to that person.  If we think and talk only of their faults, aren't we "concealing" the good in them? By this definition, if we focus on their faults, it sounds to me like we are not focused on "whatever is true" - even if they truly have the faults that upset us!

Whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly - This is where I find the Amplified Bible so helpful.  The King James version simply says whatever is "honest" - which sounds like a simple repeat of whatever is "true", but looking it up in Strong's I find that the word does indeed mean "venerable" and "honorable". This reminds me of something I saw on a talk show yesterday. They were talking with a young lady who has made it her mission to send hand-written "love letters" to strangers, expressing God's love as best she can.  She started out by writing these letters and leaving them in various places in the big city where she lived (I think it was New York, but I don't remember for sure). Then she posted on her blog that anyone who wanted one could let her know and she'd see that they got one.  The stories she shared of what these letters meant to people she had heard from, combined with what was shared by the host and some audience members (all of whom had gotten a letter from her) was very inspiring indeed.  She now is doing this full time - earning her living through speaking engagements - and has a team of people that work with her to write love letters to those who request them.  As I listened to her story, it was clearly one that was honorable and seemly.  It was so inspiring that it greatly encouraged me to do what I can in my own little corner of the world to share God's love with those around me. And it just plain made me happy to think about what she was doing!

whatever is just - When I think of this word, I think of fairness.  Strong's says "equitable (in character or act); by implication, innocent".  This one can be a bit tricky I think.  It is easy for me to fall into the trap of thinking about what is NOT fair, instead of what IS fair! When I am not treated fairly, I can so easily move into a pity party for myself - but that is the opposite of what I'm being counseled to do.  Where am I being treated fairly? And how might I treat those around me more fairly? These are topics much more worthy of my consideration.

whatever is pure - According to Strong's, this word means "properly, clean, i.e. (figuratively) innocent, modest, perfect". What is proper, clean, modest? Once again, it is so easy to think instead of what I judge improper or unclean or immodest and to condemn those that I see doing these things - and to think my condemnation of these things is living as this verse would have me live. How foolish is that!  Not only am I judging, when I've been warned against that, but I am focused on the very opposite of those things that will bring me peace and joy. This is what eating from the tree of the "knowledge of good and evil" has brought to us. We want to compare and contrast "good" versus "evil" and judge everything by those standards.  How much better to eat from the tree of life and focus on "whatever IS pure" rather than worrying about what is not and judging everything!

Well, I have an appointment, so will have to think about the rest of these later:

whatever is lovely and lovable -

whatever is kind and winsome and gracious -

if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise - 

Father, thank you so much for such clear guidance!  May I live this day focused on these things you have advised us to think about.  Thank you for filling my heart with gladness and enabling me to rejoice this day.  Amen.

Just Do It

Today I was reading in the book "Voices of Recovery" - a daily devotional about gaining freedom from overeating.  The message for today reminded me of the value of doing what I know to be best for me - regardless of my feelings.  When it comes to feelings, I have a choice. I can let them dictate my life, or I can act on what I believe and let my actions change my feelings.

I find the word "feelings" is not very clear.  I often use the same word to describe my emotional state as I do to describe my intuition.  The two are NOT the same, and the more I pay attention, the better I understand the difference.  Emotional states come and go and are based on tons of things - our thoughts, the weather, the energy of a room, to name a few.  Intuition, is one of the tools God uses to speak to me if I am willing to pay attention.  Both can have sensations attached to them, but they are very different.

Today, I am speaking about feelings as they pertain to my emotional state.  As an example, this morning I don't "feel" like going to my Pilates class, but I know it will be good for me and I will go anyway.  I also know that I'll "feel" better for having gone.  So, in this instance I am not allowing my feelings to dictate my actions (if I did, I wouldn't go to class), but I know my actions will change my feelings.

The same is true of overeating.  Yes, I am praying for cravings to be removed, and I know that they will be.  BUT, I don't wait for them to be removed to do what I know is best for me.  Instead, I take the steps I know are in my best interest, knowing that as I do that, it will help my feelings change and my cravings to decrease.  This is part of how I become a "doer of the word" and not just a "hearer". (James 1:22)

Thank you, Father, for the willingness to do what I know is best, regardless of my feelings on the matter.  Please guide my thoughts and actions this day that I may indeed know what is best for me to do today. Thank you, Father!

New Life

In my papercrafting, I signed up for an ATC (artist trading card) swap on the theme "Spring or New Life".  The idea of new life really spoke to me and I knew I wanted to make a card with a butterfly on it - like this one. 

I expect you've read the message at the top of my blog about the symbolism of the butterfly.  I wanted to find some way to write about that on my ATC, but there just wasn't room.  I went to bed thinking about this and awoke with II Cor. 5:17 running through my mind - "if any person is ingrafted in Christ he is a new creation".

Reading earlier in the chapter speaks more fully to the symbolism I've been thinking about. Paul's been talking about the difference between our earthly body (sometimes calling it a tent) and our heavenly body and says in verse 4, "while we are still in this tent, we groan under the burden and sigh deeply (weighed down, depressed, oppressed) - not that we want to put off the body (the clothing of the spirit), but rather that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal (our dying body) may be swallowed up by life." 

This verse really spoke to me.  As I've mentioned elsewhere, over 20 years ago, I was so depressed that I came very close to committing suicide.  I THOUGHT that was the only thing that could make life bearable.  This verse reminded me about that and how glad I am that I didn't go through with it!  At the time, I never could have imagined a life with the joy I now have.  So this verse reminds me that when depressed, though we may think we want to put off the body (die on this mortal plane), what we really want is to be further clothed!  Paul goes on to talk about the promises God has given us and how we can be full of "good and hopeful and confident courage" (verse 6) as we "walk by faith . . . not by sight or appearance" (verse 7). 

I can say from personal experience that no matter how dark things may seem, things can and will get better if you open yourself to God's love and seek His plan for your life.  That dark place of the soul where everything is disintegrating within and around you is one of the most frightening things a person can experience, but if we just hold on to our faith in God, we'll discover that when the time is right, we'll emerge as a butterfly.  You can't rush the process.  If you break open a cocoon thinking to spare the creature some of that darkness, you stop the process and he can never become a butterfly.  If you wait until you see the butterfly struggling to get out of his cocoon and think to help him by breaking the cocoon open and freeing him, he will never be able to fly - the work of freeing himself from that cocoon is necessary to work the fluid from his wings and strengthen them for the flight ahead. How many people give up just before the miracle??? We must be willing to see the process through if we want to be able to soar above it all in the freedom and joy of flight.

A couple of other things really stood out to me in this passage.  The first was in verse 12 where Paul talked about ". . . those who pride themselves on surface appearances. . ." Wow. How many times have I gotten in trouble because what I was concerned about was surface appearances? Whether it's being a Martha and worrying about all sorts of little details that aren't that important, or whether it's being depressed because of how I think others see me, or whether it's being content to just go through the motions of the Christian life rather than diligently seeking to be fed daily and to have God change me at depth, too often surface appearances have been my prideful focus.  Father, forgive me.  Thank you for your promises for in-depth change and for the many changes you have made in my life.  Thank you for saving me from the depths of despair and teaching me to fly!

The last thing that stood out to me this morning was in verse 18.  I have spent a great deal of my life trying to figure out what my life's purpose is.  Over the years I have felt called to so many different things that at times there seems no rhyme or reason to it. And yet here it is written in a nutshell. ". . . God . . . gave to us the ministry of reconciliation."  This is my purpose - reconciliation of people to each other and to God.  Thank you, God! If I live my life with this goal in mind, it doesn't matter specifically what I am doing. Whether it is doing papercrafting or blogging or interacting with my fellow dancers or preaching a sermon - if I keep the idea of reconciliation in mind, I am living my life's purpose!  Looking back, I can see that the times where things fell apart in my life, were usually times where I got off track and didn't work toward reconciliation.

There are a couple of situations in my life right now, where I long to see reconciliation.  I want to rush in and try to fix things, and yet I've fixed all I know how to fix.  It is clear that there is a cocoon moment going on and I must be patient.  I can trust that when the butterfly emerges, reconciliation will occur.  So, I continue to pray and seek God's leading in my life, that my life be in alignment with His will and that I may be ready and waiting when the time for reconciliation in those relationships is here.  In the meantime, I continue working to "brighten the corner" where I am.  Thank you, Father, for helping me see that I am right where you want me!  May I continue to seek your will in my life and be guided by your plan for me. I continue to ask that you create that clean heart in me and renew that right and persevering spirit within me.  Thank you, God!

Remembering

I don't know if any of you have this problem, but periodically, I find myself forgetting things.  This has been really brought to my attention the last couple of mornings as I've awakened with a verse in my mind - but before I could get to my Bible and start reading it it evaporated.  I know the verse was different each morning, but that's about all I know.  I couldn't remember anything about it! Both mornings I prayed that it be brought back to mind if it were God's will - but I still didn't remember. It was bad enough the first time it happened, but I found it very frustrating for it to happen again. Yesterday I just let it go and read something else, but it really bothered me that it had happened again this morning. As I was praying about it, the thought came that I could do a search about memory and see if the Bible had something to say about how to improve my memory.

I first looked up the word "memory" itself, but nothing jumped out at me there.  Then I tried the word, "remember" and a passage jumped out at me.  It's found in Numbers 15:38-40.  In the Amplified Bible it says, "Speak to the Israelites and bid them make fringes or tassels on the corners in the borders of their garments throughout their generations, and put upon the fringe of the borders or upon the tassel or each corner a cord of blue.  And it shall be to you a fringe or tassel that you may look upon and remember all the commandments of the Lord and do them, that you may not spy out and follow after [the desires of] your own heart and your own eyes, after which you used to follow and play the harlot [spiritually, if not physically], That you may remember and do all My commandments and be holy to your God."

Wow, I have noticed that it is so easy to forget the things God is teaching me and just follow my natural inclinations, and been so frustrated with my "short memory" in terms of putting into practice what I'm being taught.  Here's an idea from God Himself about how to improve my memory!  The specific idea seems impractical - a blue ribbon and fringe or tassels on all my clothes, but there must be a way to adapt it to work for me.

How can I put this idea to use?  Perhaps I can put notes around my environment - my bedroom or my office or my bathroom perhaps - to help me remember to put these things into practice in my life. Perhaps I could make a necklace or bracelet with things to help me remember.  I think of those charm bracelets that have been so popular where women get different charms to remember specific events in their lives. How about something like that where each charm represents an idea that God and I are working to incorporate in my life? I could even see making a necklace of home-made paper beads that are strung on a blue ribbon. Perhaps I can also start that faithbooking scrapbook that I've been wanting to make. Perhaps I could make it smaller than I had at first thought, so I could carry it with me.

Hmmm, lots of ideas. God, thank you for addressing this issue! Please help me choose those ideas that will work best for me and to actually follow through with them - that I be a "doer" of your word, and not just a "hearer" (James 1:22).  Thank you, Father!