Fear Not

While I've taken to writing most of my devotional musings in hard cover journals and don't post here as often as I used to, sometimes I just feel compelled to post about something.  Today, it's about several verses in Isaiah chapter 41.

Yesterday when I read this chapter, I was really taken by God's many and amazing promises to us.  There are some great ones, and I encourage you to look them up for yourself.  

It seldom happens that I'm taken back to the same passage the next day, but when I am, I try to pay attention!  It happened again today.

This morning, as I re-read the chapter, what really grabbed my attention was a repeating theme that I had somehow missed yesterday.  I've learned that when something is repeated, it's usually important, so I particularly noted it this morning.  I believe this message is an important one for my life, but also for all of us as we deal with this pandemic and the other challenges we face in our daily lives.

Here's what I read (from the New American Standard Bible):

"Do not fear for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. . . . For I am the Lord your God who upholds your right hand, who says to you 'Do not fear, I will help you'. Do not fear, you worm Jacob, you men of Israel; I will help you' declares the Lord, 'and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel.'" Isaiah 41:10-14

Note how often, in those few verses, we are told not to fear and that God will help us!  It's a lovely repeated promise - and also a repeated instruction.  "Do not fear."  I immediately think of the words in 1John 4:18 "perfect love casts out fear".

Father, thank you for your promises and your instructions.  Please so fill me with your perfect love that there is NO room for fear in my life!  Thank you for your continued reassurances, and for letting me feel your presence in my life today!  I am so grateful for your love!  I love you, Father.

If My People

Today's journaling page is taken from 2 Chronicles 7:13,14.  I've been pondering this passage quite a bit in the past few months, because it seems to me that there is a lot to be healed in our land - from divisiveness,  to our leadership in the world, to economics and health in the wake of this pandemic.  For myself, I also see an allegorical application equating "land" with the physical plane - including my body which is in need of healing - so I have continued to think about these verses.  

As I've been praying for healing for all of these things, I've been meditating on what God is asking from us.  And I keep coming back to that word "humble".  It seems to me this is a huge piece of what is needed in our world today - the humility to simply say, "You may be right" rather than fighting for one opinion or the other in our divided land.  

Certainly, as I read Isaiah chapter 58 I feel compelled to stand up against injustice where I see it and work to "break every yoke", but it seems to me that the divisiveness in our country today extends far beyond such specific issues.  I see people from both sides of the aisle focusing on sowing division and discord rather than being peacemakers. And unfortunately, I've seen this tendency in myself at times.  I'm coming to see that anytime I am convinced that I am "right" and those who don't agree with me are "wrong" (or "misguided", or "stupid", or even "deliberately pushing falsehoods"), that I am in serious danger.  I'm quite possibly not living in from the humble spirit to which God calls me.  

Not long ago someone was telling me a story about something related to the pandemic.  The opinions shared seemed ludicrous to me - so far fetched as to be laughable.  But instead of reacting to it in a divisive way, I thought those words "they may be right", and let it go.  Later as I was praying about it, I asked God how it could possibly be that "they might be right"?  It didn't seem possible, though I had felt led to think those words at the time!  I was immediately shown the "facts" from a completely different perspective.  Suddenly I realized that likely the person was indeed right about some things - and wrong about others, while at the same time I had probably been right about some things - and wrong about others!  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways' declares the Lord.  'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts'". (Isaiah 55:8,9)  And again in 1 Corinthians: "Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual. The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned." (1Cor 2:12-14)

What a different world we would be living in if everyone lived humbly before God, recognizing that we DON'T know as much as we often think we do!  What a different world if we make a choice to focus on those things that are spiritually discerned rather than thinking as the world thinks!  This is not possible unless we are willing to humbly set aside our own points of view and seek unity through the Spirit rather than holding on to divisiveness.

Father, please forgive me for those times when I've arrogantly thought I knew better than others - for those times when I haven't chosen to be a peacemaker!  Father, thank you for teaching me about humility and how I can be wrong even when I'm SURE I'm right!  Thank you for showing me that your thoughts are so much higher than my own, and that when seen from your perspective, many things that appear to be contradictory to my puny human brain - really are not!  Please help me to remember these lessons and learn to live them consistently in my daily life!  Thank you, Father!

Hand Holding

Yesterday as I was re-reading in Psalms 37, verses 23 & 24 jumped out at me.  I was reading in the NASB which says

"The steps of a man are established by the Lord, And He delights in his way.  When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, Because the Lord is the One who holds his hand."

What a promise!  And what a mental picture!  I can remember walking with a young child's hand in mine and holding her up when she started to stumble.  This is what God wants to do for us!  And yet, I also remember trying to hold a child's hand when they did not want their hand held.  Father, may this never be me!  I choose, Father, to put my hand in yours and let you lead me and keep me from falling.  

"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, . . . " Jude 1:24 NASB

Father, I praise you for your loving care and your strength!  Please keep me from stumbling and bring me to stand in your presence as promised - blameless and with great joy thanks to Jesus' sacrifice on my behalf.  I am SO grateful, Father!

Thank you, Father, for Flowers!

Yesterday was Mother's Day, and my loving husband gave me flowers that he had cut from our yard (that I didn't even know existed) - getting out early with a ladder to cut some of them from trees in our yard.  Later I was surprised by flowers of one form or another from both of my brother's families.  I am so grateful for loving family.

This morning as I was paging through my Bible, I came to this illustration (created 4 years ago), and was taken back to the passage in Matthew 6:24-34 - particularly the passage "Consider the lilies of the field. . ."  The NIV puts it this way:

"See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you;" 

I am so grateful for the way my heavenly Father cares for me!  This morning I got to thinking that every time I see flowers - and especially when I receive them as I did yesterday - they can serve as a reminder of His love.  Just like the rainbow in the sky is to serve as a reminder of God's promise (Gen 9:12-17) to never again send a flood that covers the entire earth, flowers can be a reminder for me of his promise to take care of me - even with regard to clothes.

Thank you, Father, for your love for me!  I am so grateful that you care - even about the mundane details of our lives.  May I trust you fully and completely and every speck of fear be removed from me! Truly as I contemplate your love, it DOES cast out fear.  (1 John 4:18) Thank you for the many things you do to bless our lives - the big things like our salvation through Jesus, and the little things like fragrant and beautiful flowers to enjoy.  The words of that chorus ring so true "God is so good, God is so good, God is so good, He's so good to me!"  Thank you, Father!

Actions and Motivations

The ideas I was brought to today are not new ones - but we're told (Matthew 13:52) "He said to them, "Therefore every teacher of the law who has become a disciple in the kingdom of heaven is like the owner of a house who brings out of his storeroom new treasures as well as old.""  I guess this is both.  Old treasures showing up in a new way.

Today I was pondering a recent conversation where a friend mentioned the need to seek God's guidance to avoid a tendency to run ahead of Him.  I was reminded of Peter,  who seemed to have the tendency to act rashly and run ahead, so looked at some of those examples.  Here they are in the order in which they were brought to mind:

1) The first example was at Jesus' transfiguration where Peter suggested they could build 3 tabernacles - one for Jesus, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.  It's always struck me as a bit of an odd thing for him to have said, and yet each of the three records of this story (Matthew 17:1-9, Mark 9:2-9, Luke 9:28-36) contains a record of his suggestion.  As I read Matthew's account, I find just the bare facts - no hint of reasons for them.  Luke says that the disciples had fallen asleep and hints that perhaps Peter was half asleep and didn't know what he was saying.  Mark says that Peter says this because he didn't know what to say because they were all terrified.  This suggests to me that perhaps Peter's natural response to fear was to "do something - anything!".  A couple more stories come to mind in support of this idea.

2) The second one is when Jesus walked on the water (Matthew 14:22-34, Mark 6:45-53, John 6:16-21).  Mark & John's accounts don't mention Peter at all.  But Matthew describes not only how the frightened disciples are comforted by Jesus saying "It is I. Be not afraid", but goes on to tell us of Peter.  Peter says "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water."  We know the rest of the story - Jesus says "Come" and Peter starts to walk towards Him on the water - until he sees the wind and becomes afraid and starts to sink and has to call out for Jesus to save him.  Once again we see Peter experiencing fear and wanting to DO something. 

3) The third story is the one in the garden of Gethsemane when the mob has come to get Jesus and Peter draws his sword & cuts off someone's ear.  (Matthew 26:51-52,  Mark 14:47, Luke 22:49-51, John 18:10-11 - note that only John's account actually identifies it as Peter who cut off the ear). On this occasion we once again see Peter and the rest of the disciples being afraid - and once again Peter wants to "DO" something.

As I considered these stories, a couple of things stood out to me.  First was the fact that fear seemed often to be a motivating factor for impulsive actions.  I've noticed in my own life that when an action is motivated by fear, it is often not a good choice.  I also find that fear keeps me stuck and unable to make wise choices.  In 1 John 4:18 we are told that "perfect love casts out fear".  2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that God "did not give us a spirit of fear" (so where do you suppose that spirit came from?), and a repeated theme in the Bible is "Fear Not" (one example of this is Isaiah 41:10).   I love Psalms 34:4 - "I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears."  What a promise for these days with the covid-19 pandemic surrounding us!  Over the years I have learned to ask God to remove the fear in me whenever I notice it.  And particularly, when I seek to do His will, one of the first things I want to do is to ask God to remove any fear. 

The second thing that caught my attention in these stories about Peter, was about specifically asking for guidance.  I'm not sure if Peter really did this when he suggested building the tabernacles, but Matthew's account says he told Jesus "If you wish" so there's at least a little hint of a desire to do so.  There's no indication that Jesus answered him - and certainly they didn't stay to build tabernacles!  In the story of Jesus walking on the water, Peter DID ask.  It's also clear that he asked in part because he wasn't sure if it really was Jesus speaking to them about not being afraid.  In this case Jesus told him to go ahead and come to him (note that this didn't prevent his falling flat on his face as he noticed the wind!).  In the garden, Peter didn't ask at all - and ended up being reprimanded for his actions.  So for me, the take away here is that I want to make sure I ASK before taking an action I am considering - especially if I'm not clear on the source of the idea!  Based on these stories, I certainly don't want to move forward unless I sure that God is telling me to do so (though that may not keep me from falling flat on my face if I don't keep my eyes on Him!).

Father, as I continue to seek your guidance in my life, I once again ask that you remove all vestiges of fear from me, and that you make clear to me what your will is in each situation I face today.  I want to do Your will, Father!  I don't want to run ahead of you or step off the path you have for me.  Father, may I hear your voice clearly as we walk together today!  Please be my strength and my shield as you show me the way in which I should walk. 

Correction

Recently I posted about this page, but it has been bothering me.  I didn't correctly paraphrase the passage listed.  Then I compounded the problem by trying to cover up my mistake. The verse actually reads "I have been young, and now I am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, or his descendants begging bread." (Ps 37:25)  When I started the lettering, I wrote, "God does not forsake His people or let them beg for bread!"  But that's NOT what it says.  I knew that, so tried to fix it by adding the words "not even their descendants".  But in doing so, I was doing something we've been warned against - adding to the words of the Bible "Add not to His words, lest He reprove you, and you be found a liar." Prov 30:6.  I had to fix it!

Sometimes a person can easily fix a mistake, but this was not one that I could fix easily.  Fixing it would make my mistake very visible.  But sometimes that's exactly what we need to do - let our mistakes be visible.  This is especially true in our relationship with God, as I experienced once again this morning.

I have been scared.  Thursday when my husband, who has diabetes, tested his blood sugars they were much higher than we've seen them before.  Then yesterday, he woke up with a severe headache and was clearly fighting something as he had little energy and needed to sleep during the day.  (Though napping is normal for me, it is NOT for him.)  I myself was quite tired in the morning, but after napping and resting for awhile was feeling much better in the afternoon.  But my husband's health worried me - especially in the light of this covid-19 crises. Has he been infected?  Has he infected me? 

I was concerned for him, and I was concerned for myself.  He's a very independent person and has been responsible for cooking our meals since he retired.  To all of a sudden find myself needing to cook and take care of him felt overwhelming - especially at this time of not being able to shop as easily or as often.  How do I protect my own health while caring for him if it comes to that?  What if we both get really sick?  And how do I make sure my parents have the groceries they need if I can't shop for them?  Like I said, I was scared.  More than that, I was worried - anxious.  

I am often reminded of the verses in Philippians (chapter 4:6,7) "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  I wanted that peace!  I wanted to obey and not be anxious.  But the fact of the matter was that I WAS anxious!!!  I was tempted to just voice thanksgiving and praise to God in the hopes that that would remove my anxiety.  But that wasn't working.  I realized I just had to talk to God about the truth of my heart.  I WAS anxious.  I didn't want to be.  I wanted to trust fully in Him so I wouldn't be.  But I WAS anxious none the less.  As I talked with him and asked for him to give me that gift of faith (Eph 2:8), my anxiety was lifted and I was indeed filled with that peace that passes all understanding - almost immediately!  AMAZING!  Thank you, God!

All of a sudden I had a deeper understanding of those verses in 1 John 1:8,9.  "If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

I needed to confess my sin of anxiety to Him so that he could forgive me and cleanse me from it.  To pretend that I wasn't feeling that way was deceiving myself and making myself a liar.  And He was indeed faithful.  He forgave me and immediately removed that anxiety and replaced it with peace!  How?  I have no idea.  It goes far beyond my ability to understand.  All I know is the miracle occurred and I am grateful.

Father, thank you so much!  You are amazing!  How you can cleanse a heart of an emotion like fear or anxiety and replace it with peace is astonishing.  I am so grateful that you in your perfect love cast out fear because you KNOW how tormenting it is to feel fear!!! (1 John 4:18)  Thank you!!!!

And so, somehow, that took me back to this page and my mistake.  It wasn't okay to leave it as it was.  I had to fix it.  Even if that fix would be glaringly obvious!!!!  I make mistakes.  Some of them are easily fixed, some not so much.  Some are not very visible to others, some are glaringly obvious.  It doesn't matter.  What matters is that I confess my mistake, allow God to cleanse me, and make amends as I can.

Thank you, Father, for not condemning me, but for cleansing me instead!  Thank you for filling me with your peace this morning when I so desperately needed it. Thank you for such a clear demonstration of your love. 

Fasting & Prayer

Yesterday I chose to participate in a call for prayer & fasting with regard to the covid-19 pandemic. This is the first time I have done something like that, and the experience did NOT go as I anticipated.

During my usual morning devotions, I was directed to two topics I've been brought to before.  The first was about what strengthens our spiritual immune system (see blog post here). The other was the words in Isaiah chapter 58. The whole chapter is important, but here are a few excerpts: "Cry loudly, do not hold back; raise your voice like a trumpet, and declare to My people their transgression, and to the house of Jacob their sins. Yet they seek Me day by day, and delight to know My ways, as a nation that has done righteousness, and has not forsaken the ordinance of their God. They ask Me for just decisions, they delight in the nearness of God. Why have we fasted and Thou dost not see? Why have we humbled yourselves and Thou dost not notice? . . . Behold, you fast for contention and strife . . .  You do not fast like you do today to make your voice heard on high. Is it a fast like this which I choose, a day for man to humble himself? Is it for bowing one's head like a reed, and for spreading out sackcloth and ashes as a bed? Will you call this a fast, even an acceptable day to the Lord? Is this not the fast which I choose, to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into the house; when you see the naked, to cover him; and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? . . . Then you will call and the Lord will answer . . . If you remove the yoke from your midst, the pointing of the finger and speaking wickedness, and if you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted. . . " (NASB - emphasis mine)

There is so much food for thought here, and I've journaled about this passage many times before (here, here, here, here, and here).  In fact, the entire existence of this blog is based in this chapter of Isaiah (see this post).  I've looked for ways to help others, and continued to do so yesterday, feeling I was doing pretty well with the type of fast God wanted.  I DID notice early in the day that I did some "finger pointing" at my husband, so asked forgiveness for that from him & God, and continued with my prayer and fasting.

I had no idea that was just the tip of the iceberg!  Partway through the day I found myself in an argument with someone over the politics that are affecting the nation's response to covid-19.   Even after I recognized how uncomfortable I was with the way that conversation went (it was NOT an example of me being a peacemaker as I want to be!), and asked forgiveness from God & the people involved for getting into an argument, I was still very upset.  Here I had dedicated that day to seeking God & I ended up in an argument! Father, how could this happen?

I still didn't realize the depth of my mistake.  It wasn't until this morning that it finally hit me.  ALL of this divisiveness over politics is "pointing the finger" at someone!!!!  No wonder we're in trouble as a nation!  It is what we are known for right now.  And I was as guilty as the next person - though feeling justified because I thought my viewpoint was "right"!  After all, I could clearly see the error of their ways!

The moment the truth hit me, I felt such sorrow.  God had warned me!  He had put that passage in front of me and early on pointed out my tendency to point the finger as I interacted with my husband.  But I hadn't really understood.  I had no idea how much I did this! 

I think I have a better idea now of how Peter felt when he heard that cock crow and realized how he had denied Jesus. Father, I'm sorry!  Please forgive me! I felt TERRIBLE. I don't want to be one of those who is an "accuser of the brethren"!  This is NOT the way I want to behave!  This is NOT the way I want to think - especially on a day dedicated to seeking you, Father!!! PLEASE change me!!!  I knew that through His amazing love and mercy He forgave me, but I still felt such pain and sorrow.

And yet, in the midst of all this, I kept hearing that still small voice saying "What about your immunity?  Can you rejoice even in this?"  How, Father?  I've been so wrong.  I think of how much I've been doing this over the YEARS and I am appalled and ashamed!  I've allowed the accuser inroads into my life - even on the day I dedicated to prayer and fasting!  As I continued to talk with my Father, I realized there was at least one thing I could be grateful for in all of this.  He finally managed to get through this thick skull of mine!  As I thought about the accuser, I looked up that passage, "Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down." Revelation 12:10 (NIV)   

Yes, Father, you're right!  The accuser has indeed been hurled down today!  I know I can trust you to change me.  To create in me that clean heart.  I am so grateful.  I praise you for your love and mercy.  You have loved me through the years despite all my blind spots - and even times when I've been rebellious!  You continue to GENTLY lead me in paths of righteousness, tenderly pointing out my errors, holding me as I cry in shame and disgust, and compassionately leading me back to joy and praise. You are such a loving Father, and I am SO grateful!  NOW have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Messiah.  Wow, Father!  Thank you! 

The words to another verse comes to mind: "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." II Chronicles 7:14 (NIV)  

Father, thank you for your promise!  Please open the eyes of the others in this nation as you've opened mine.  May we turn from pointing the finger.  We need your forgiveness and your healing so much.  Father, forgive them for they know not what they do - just like I didn't know what I was doing!  Thank you for your amazing forgiveness & love.  Thank you for Jesus' willingness to come here & die to free us from such chains.  May we not let that sacrifice be in vain, Father!  May Jesus blood cleanse us as Paul wrote to the Hebrews: "How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!" Hebrews 9:14 NIV  Thank you, for your your love for each one of us, Father!  Thank you for your leading!  Thank you for not only forgiving us, but CHANGING us!  I am SO grateful, Father. 

Instructions and Promises

Instructions and Promises!  

Please note my correction of this page in a later post - here!

As I was leafing through my journaling Bible, I came across the page on the right above.  I had already done the bread illustration and written some of the words on that page.  As I re-read Psalm 37 though, I found it was FULL of instructions and promises that seemed targeted for this very time we find ourselves in, as we face the uncertainties engendered by the covid-19 virus that is spreading across the planet.  Then as I searched my blog to see what materials I had used so I could repeat them on the facing page, I realized that this was a page I had never posted, even though the illustration was done in 2017!  It seemed clear to me that it was being saved "for such a time as this," and that it had been incomplete.  So, I completed it.

There are powerful promises here: 

• being given the desires of your heart
• having abundance in the face of famine
• when you fall you will not be hurled headlong - God holds your hand
• descendants not begging bread
• strength in time of trouble
• deliverance
• salvation

But they come with clear direction too: 

• trust in the Lord
• do good
• cultivate faithfulness
• delight yourself in the Lord 
• commit your way to the Lord
• rest in the Lord
• wait patiently for Him
• do not fret it leads only to evildoing
• be gracious and give
• be a person of peace
• take refuge in Him 

How well am I doing in following these directives in this time of uncertainty?

Father, thank you for such clear guidance!!! Thank you for your promises!!!  Please fill me with faith and trust in you, with your peace that passes all understanding.  Please remove any vestiges of selfishness from my life.  May I give freely as directed.  May I wait patiently for you and take refuge in you - no matter what comes my way.  Thank you, Father.

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

I love the song "Great Is Thy Faithfulness".  I find it so encouraging.  But that encouragement was intensified to amazement when I realized where in the Bible that song's ideas were based!  

The sentiment expressed in this song comes from the book of Lamentations - which is mostly exactly what it's called.  The things Jeremiah describes having seen and faced were horrific, and his lament is not surprising.  What IS, perhaps, surprising are these words found right in the middle of his laments.  

"Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!^' The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him." Lamentations 3:21-25

Father, no matter what I must face in my life, may I face it with the hope described in these verses!  May I remember the truth - "Great is Thy Faithfulness!".  Your compassions are new EVERY morning. Thank you, Father!  You are SO amazing, and I am grateful.

I Will Sing Praises . . . I Will Awaken the Dawn

For several months now, I've had a standing appointment with God . . . at 4 in the morning!  I remember the words of the song "My God and I" coming to my mind as I realized I couldn't really relate to the picture painted by this song - God and I walking hand in hand through the fields as we talked and laughed together.  But that was the relationship I wanted!!!  So I began praying for it.  And I felt impressed that if I chose to, He would meet me at 4 am every morning.  It was an appointment I wanted to keep, but I wasn't sure I could, so I prayed that He awaken me.  Since then I've been awakened about that time every morning - twice by an audible voice calling my name out of a deep sleep! It's been a life-changing experience.  

And yet, I'm human, and occasionally I feel really tired.  I thought He would remove my fatigue as I spent time with him.  Isn't that what He's promised in Isaiah?  "They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength."  (Is. 40:31)  Often that happened, but other times I found myself so tired I wanted to take a nap later in the day.  At first I questioned whether it was okay for me to nap or whether it was showing a lack of faith.  But then He pointed out to me that even Jesus napped. That's what He was doing in that little boat when the storm came that frightened his disciples so badly! 

At any rate, a few days ago I found myself really struggling to get out of bed to meet my appointment, and questioning whether it really WAS God that had told me to start getting up at that hour or whether I had just imagined it.  I'm not proud of the way I was doubting Him, but it's the unfortunate truth.  As I talked with Him about it that morning, I asked that He show me clearly the next morning.  If He truly wanted me getting up at that hour, please awaken me as usual.  If not, please make sure I stayed asleep.

Well, the next morning, I was awakened at 4 am as usual - brimming with energy and eager to meet with God.  I felt I had a clear answer to my prayers from the day before.  But God is so gracious!  Instead of being chastised for my doubt the previous day, He gave me added confirmation!  I was re-reading Psalms 107 because the words "Oh that men would praise the Lord for His goodness and for His wonderful works to the children of men." were in my head.  (They are repeated verbatim 4 times in this chapter.)  As I read, I was praising God for His goodness to me in making His will for me clear.  I found myself continuing on into the next chapter when these words jumped out at me "I will praise, I will sing praises even with my soul.  Awake harp and lyre.  I will awaken the dawn." (Ps 108:1,2 NASB)  I will awaken the dawn!  Here was ADDED confirmation that I was doing the right thing by getting up before dawn!  He didn't need to give this additional confirmation to me.  I had already gotten His message clearly.  But He is so kind and loving that He chose to make His will VERY clear!!!

What an amazing God we serve!  How gracious and patient with us!  

Father, thank you so much for the love you bestow on us each and every day.  Thank you for the way you so gently lead!  I am so grateful!  You are such an amazing God!  I love you, Father.

God? or Fortresses?

For some time, I've been thinking about a particular passage in Daniel.  "And he will show no regard for the gods of his fathers . . . but instead he will honor a god of fortresses, a god whom his fathers did not know. . . "  

In fact, 7 years ago I wrote the following in my blog as I recounted the discussion I'd had with God about it: 

"They put their faith in the 'god of fortresses'" (Dan 11:38).  Okay, but what does that have to do with me? "You put your faith in the god of fortresses, too." When do I do this, Father? "When you put your faith in anything but me - for example, when you trust your DIET to protect you from illness and restore you to health and proper weight instead of trusting Me."

I feel like a slow learner when I realize that I am STILL being shown areas where my faith isn't 100% in God.  God's spoken to me about these things over and over in different ways, but I'm still not living fully as He would have me live!  When I'm seeking healing, is my trust in diet rather than in God?  When I need food and shelter, is my faith for my daily needs in God or in the money & resources that He provides?  When I seek to know God better is my faith in God, or in some person who has written a devotional, preached a sermon, or in other ways ministered to me?

Most recently when I was supporting my mom as she underwent two total knee replacements and resultant healing process, I realized how much faith I was putting in the skill and advice of "professionals" (doctors, nurses, physical therapists) and even pain medicine - instead of in God for her healing!  It's a subtle thing.  It's not that these doctors or medicines are necessarily bad - as I discussed it with my Heavenly Father, he explained to me that these things are - or at least CAN be - His servants.  But servants do what their master tells them to do - with His authority and His resources.  It is not the servant that is responsible, it is the Master!

Recently I was reading in Hosea, and certain verses seemed to directly line up with this passage in Daniel:

"Sow with a view to righteousness, Reap in accordance with kindness; Break up your fallow ground, For it is time to seek the Lord Until He comes to rain righteousness on you.  You have plowed wickedness, you have reaped injustice, You have eaten the fruit of lies. Because you have trusted in your way, in your numerous warriors . . ." (Hosea 10:12,13 emphasis mine)

I realized, there's a cause & effect relationship.  When I have "plowed wickedness", "reaped injustice", "eaten fruit of lies", it is because I have trusted in my own way (NIV says "depended on your own strength"), in my numerous warriors.  In fact, as I think about it, ALL sin is based in having our focus elsewhere instead of on GOD.  This has to STOP!  It creeps in so insidiously.  I need knowledge of how to do something.  I pray for that knowledge and God graciously provides.  Then I feel that I now know whatever it is and tend to look to God less in that area of my life!  How foolish!  

Over and over through the Bible, we see that people run into trouble when they begin to think THEY have done something (instead of praising God for what He has done for and through them).  A glaring example of this is Nebuchadnezzar as described in Danial chapter 4 - but there are MANY, MANY examples.  

Father, please forgive these tendencies in me - but more importantly, please REMOVE them!  I want NO other Gods before you - certainly not myself!!!  (and that is certainly what selfishness is - putting me before others, including you)  I know that the god of fortresses is a false god and leads to destructive places.  I want to trust ONLY in you.  As I deal with the aspects of my day-to-day life - my finances, my daily routines, the tasks you have set before me - may I ALWAYS do so with an eye to YOU as my God and nothing/no one else!  Thank you, Father!

My Immunity

Last time I wrote, I wrote about praise, and it continues to be a focus for me.  A couple of weeks ago, I felt God was telling me that praise in the form of music was important for me to incorporate into my quiet time with Him.  The Psalms are full of injunctions to "Sing unto the Lord" and to praise him with various musical instruments.

I have once again discovered, as I put these directives into practice, that His directions to me are always for MY benefit.  It's not that He has such a big ego that He needs my praise.  It is for MY benefit to praise Him!!!

One day last week as I was praising Him - talking with Him about things I admire in Him - I started talking to Him about the marvelous way He made our bodies to protect themselves from so many diseases & attacks from various sources.  Our immune system is amazing!  And I want to do all I can to work with His plan for my body so that system is working at full power.

And then I had a thought.  If God put that much design into defenses for our physical body, He surely has done so for our emotional and spiritual bodies as well!  The answer was swift.  YES!!! This is why we are told to "Rejoice in the Lord always" (Phil 4:4 - and many similar).  This is why we're told to "count it all joy when you face various trials" (James 1:2).  This is why we're told to "make a joyful noise unto the Lord . . . enter into His gates with thanksgiving and into His courts with praise. Be thankful unto Him and bless His name."(Ps 100:1,4)   Praise, gratitude, faith and joy are the foundations of our TRUE immune system!  Medical science has shown how our attitudes affect our physical health.  And obviously, our mental outlook is much improved when we focus on joy and gratitude.  And now I'm realizing it is also how our spiritual selves defend against the enemy's fiery arrows!!! Thank you, God!

Father, today - and every day! - may I remember to always look to you.  May I face any challenges with joy and faith, presenting my requests with thanksgiving, and keeping your praise on my lips.  Father, you are an awesome God!  And there is no selfishness or self-seeking in you.  Your directives are ALL for OUR good, and that is what brings you joy.  Father, may I emulate you!  May you so fill my heart that all I want from others is THEIR good!  May there be no vestiges of selfishness or self-seeking left in me.  Cleanse me, Father & I will be clean! Thank you, God!!!