Correction

Recently I posted about this page, but it has been bothering me.  I didn't correctly paraphrase the passage listed.  Then I compounded the problem by trying to cover up my mistake. The verse actually reads "I have been young, and now I am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, or his descendants begging bread." (Ps 37:25)  When I started the lettering, I wrote, "God does not forsake His people or let them beg for bread!"  But that's NOT what it says.  I knew that, so tried to fix it by adding the words "not even their descendants".  But in doing so, I was doing something we've been warned against - adding to the words of the Bible "Add not to His words, lest He reprove you, and you be found a liar." Prov 30:6.  I had to fix it!

Sometimes a person can easily fix a mistake, but this was not one that I could fix easily.  Fixing it would make my mistake very visible.  But sometimes that's exactly what we need to do - let our mistakes be visible.  This is especially true in our relationship with God, as I experienced once again this morning.

I have been scared.  Thursday when my husband, who has diabetes, tested his blood sugars they were much higher than we've seen them before.  Then yesterday, he woke up with a severe headache and was clearly fighting something as he had little energy and needed to sleep during the day.  (Though napping is normal for me, it is NOT for him.)  I myself was quite tired in the morning, but after napping and resting for awhile was feeling much better in the afternoon.  But my husband's health worried me - especially in the light of this covid-19 crises. Has he been infected?  Has he infected me? 

I was concerned for him, and I was concerned for myself.  He's a very independent person and has been responsible for cooking our meals since he retired.  To all of a sudden find myself needing to cook and take care of him felt overwhelming - especially at this time of not being able to shop as easily or as often.  How do I protect my own health while caring for him if it comes to that?  What if we both get really sick?  And how do I make sure my parents have the groceries they need if I can't shop for them?  Like I said, I was scared.  More than that, I was worried - anxious.  

I am often reminded of the verses in Philippians (chapter 4:6,7) "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  I wanted that peace!  I wanted to obey and not be anxious.  But the fact of the matter was that I WAS anxious!!!  I was tempted to just voice thanksgiving and praise to God in the hopes that that would remove my anxiety.  But that wasn't working.  I realized I just had to talk to God about the truth of my heart.  I WAS anxious.  I didn't want to be.  I wanted to trust fully in Him so I wouldn't be.  But I WAS anxious none the less.  As I talked with him and asked for him to give me that gift of faith (Eph 2:8), my anxiety was lifted and I was indeed filled with that peace that passes all understanding - almost immediately!  AMAZING!  Thank you, God!

All of a sudden I had a deeper understanding of those verses in 1 John 1:8,9.  "If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

I needed to confess my sin of anxiety to Him so that he could forgive me and cleanse me from it.  To pretend that I wasn't feeling that way was deceiving myself and making myself a liar.  And He was indeed faithful.  He forgave me and immediately removed that anxiety and replaced it with peace!  How?  I have no idea.  It goes far beyond my ability to understand.  All I know is the miracle occurred and I am grateful.

Father, thank you so much!  You are amazing!  How you can cleanse a heart of an emotion like fear or anxiety and replace it with peace is astonishing.  I am so grateful that you in your perfect love cast out fear because you KNOW how tormenting it is to feel fear!!! (1 John 4:18)  Thank you!!!!

And so, somehow, that took me back to this page and my mistake.  It wasn't okay to leave it as it was.  I had to fix it.  Even if that fix would be glaringly obvious!!!!  I make mistakes.  Some of them are easily fixed, some not so much.  Some are not very visible to others, some are glaringly obvious.  It doesn't matter.  What matters is that I confess my mistake, allow God to cleanse me, and make amends as I can.

Thank you, Father, for not condemning me, but for cleansing me instead!  Thank you for filling me with your peace this morning when I so desperately needed it. Thank you for such a clear demonstration of your love.