Do You Also Want to Leave?

This morning the words in the title of this post really struck me.  They come from the book of John.  Here is a bit of the story:

But Jesus didn't give an inch. "Only insofar as you eat and drink flesh and blood, the flesh and blood of the Son of Man, do you have life within you. The one who brings a hearty appetite to this eating and drinking has eternal life and will be fit and ready for the Final Day. . . . .  Many among his disciples heard this and said, "This is tough teaching, too tough to swallow." Jesus sensed that his disciples were having a hard time with this and said, "Does this throw you completely? What would happen if you saw the Son of Man ascending to where he came from? The Spirit can make life. Sheer muscle and willpower don't make anything happen. Every word I've spoken to you is a Spirit-word, and so it is life-making. But some of you are resisting, refusing to have any part in this." . . . . After this a lot of his disciples left. They no longer wanted to be associated with him. Then Jesus gave the Twelve their chance: "Do you also want to leave?"  Peter replied, "Master, to whom would we go? You have the words of real life, eternal life. We've already committed ourselves, confident that you are the Holy One of God."   Jesus responded, "Haven't I handpicked you, the Twelve? Still, one of you is a devil!" (John 6:53-55, 60-64, 66-70 from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)

This is a passage that has puzzled me from time to time.  Jesus insistence on talking about eating his flesh and drinking his blood when he knew others, even the disciples, were finding the words and concept offensive seemed odd.  Clearly he didn't really mean to promote cannibalism.  Why didn't he put it another way?

And yet, this morning, I get a different picture.  Jesus was clearly drawing a distinction between those who followed him simply to get their share of material blessings (the physical "bread"), and those who really wanted to digest His teachings and what he was REALLY here to share - the spiritual bread.  He knew it was time for them to be VERY clear about their motives as they faced the trials to come.

It's so easy to read these stories and condemn the crowds for their choices of physical comfort over spiritual food - but how different am I?  Are there times I make the same choice?  Why am I seeking the Savior?  Do I really want to be freed from slavery to human desires and cravings and look instead for the spiritual sustenance Christ offers?  How much of my focus is on the spiritual, and how much on my own thoughts, feelings, and desires?  Am I TRULY willing to have my will fully aligned with God's, or are there corners of my life that I want to keep to myself?  When things get tough, what is my reaction?  Jesus patiently asks me, "Do you also want to leave?"  And I answer with Peter, "Lord, to whom would I go?"  The path may indeed be difficult, and I don't always make the best choices, but when I truly stop to think of it, what is the alternative?  Only He has the words of eternal life!  As the song says, only Jesus can satisfy my soul!

Another verse in this passage catches my eye: "Sheer muscle and willpower don't make anything happen. Every word I've spoken to you is a Spirit-word, and so it is life-making."  This weekend we attended a dance workshop.  Much attention was focused on the idea of allowing gravity to work with us as we dance, so that we dance with less effort, letting gravity do the work rather than forcing ourselves to power through the moves using only our muscles.  That teaching comes to mind as I read this verse.  I've seen for myself that sheer muscle and willpower don't make things happen very well - whether we're talking about dance, or about life in general.  I NEED to rely on Spirit to move me through life.

Father, despite my many mistakes and poor choices, I do NOT want to leave you!  I want you to be Lord of all in my life and for my will to be surrendered to yours, even when things are hard.  Father, you know the challenges I face, the times I want my own will instead of yours.  Forgive me, and please make me wholly yours.  May Your will and mine become so closely entwined that I see nothing else, Father!  Father, I want your Spirit to be the power in my life and to guide my thoughts, words and actions.  Father, you know the decisions I face this day.  Please keep me from making any that are not in alignment with your will!  Thank you for your continued guidance as I move through this day, Father.  Thank you for the peace that you bring!  Amen.