Separation & Choice

Well, this morning I'm once again looking at the creation story.  I woke up this morning feeling unsettled.  I really didn't know what all I was feeling.  I knew I wasn't looking forward to a dental appointment, but this felt like more than that and I didn't know what it was.  I found myself thinking, I need to be able to somehow gather these feelings together so they don't feel so overwhelming and so I can sort out what's really going on.  

Immediately the creation story came to mind - God gathering the waters together so that the dry land could appear.  After all, water can often represent emotion.  So, once again I'm looking at this story to see what guidance God has for me here.

"Then God said, “Let the water beneath the sky come together into one area, and let dry ground appear!” And that is what happened: God called the dry ground “land,” and he called the water that had come together “oceans.” And God saw how good it was.  Then God said, “Let vegetation sprout all over the earth, including seed-bearing plants and fruit trees, each kind containing its own seed!” And that is what happened: Vegetation sprouted all over the earth, including seed-bearing plants and fruit trees, each kind containing its own seed. And God saw that it was good. The twilight and the dawn were the third day." Genesis 1:9-13 ISV

As I re-read the story this morning, I am once again caught by the notion that the waters have to be gathered together for the dry ground to appear, and that vegetation could only grow once that had happened.  Vegetation is so important!  It provides both nourishment and shelter.  This suggests to me that in order to experience the figurative nourishment and shelter I seek in my life, the figurative waters in my life need to be gathered together.   

But how do I do that? This question takes me to the crux of the creation story.  It does not describe God laboring over the waters to get them all to come together in one space!  "God said. . . . And that is what happend"!  A choice was made, a decision finalized, and the results appeared.  

Is this what causes me so much problem in life?  I don't make a clear choice.  I want this, but don't want to let go of that to get it?  I have mixed feelings about what I want so can never clearly say, "Let this be done."?  I think of the passage in James, "But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord." James 1:6-7 KJV  It sure makes sense, doesn't it?  How can you create something if you're spending all your time arguing with yourself about what you want to make? "let him ask in faith, nothing wavering."  These words remind me that I need to ASK!  I think of another passage in James, "ye have not because ye ask not". (James 4:2)

As I re-read this verse, I am drawn to the verses around it, starting with the first verse of the chapter before it:

"And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.  From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God."  James 3:18-4:4 KJV

Once again, I see something I haven't seen before.  Though I know the chapters and verses in the bible were, for the most part, something added to the text much later, so often when I read I start at the beginning of a chapter - and miss out on some things that way.  This passage really makes me stop and think when I start with the idea of being a peace maker (last verse of previous chapter).  I can certainly relate to "lusts that war in my members".  Way too often I find myself fighting a battle about food.  I want to eat in a healthy way to best support my body and mind - but things that aren't good for me SOUND so good and I crave them!  And I sometimes I just don't want to take the time to cook a healthy meal, I'd rather grab something fast. It never before occurred to me that this is the foundation of war - these battles within our own bodies; these lustings after things which are not God's will for us because they hurt us. 

Father, forgive me for not fully turning away from those lustful food thoughts, for "committing adultery with them in my heart"! And yet, I know I am not strong enough to be free of them on my own.  Father, I seek a miracle in my life again this morning - that I may be of one mind about my health and choices related to it and that any lusting after things that are not good for me be removed.  May this creation story be exemplified in my life, Father. May the upper and lower waters be separated, and the lower waters gathered into one place so the dry ground can appear and grow vegetation in my life!  I want to bear fruit, Father, and I want the fear gathered together and separated out so that the Fruits of the Spirit can grow healthy and strong in my life.  I want the light separated from the darkness in my life, Father! I know that you can speak and it will be done.  Father, please keep me focused on your will and help me totally discard thoughts that might turn me from your path for me.  As I move through this day, please give me the guidance and power I need.  I look for you to work in my life both to WILL and to DO of your good pleasure (Phil 2:13), Father.  

You remind me that I need to do all things without murmuring or complaining (Phil 2:14), Father.  This too is a tough habit to break, but I see it is often a cause of my troubles.  Instead of just getting in and cooking a healthy meal, I find myself whining, for example, about how much work it is to cook a healthy meal and the time it takes - and then choosing a less healthy alternative.  Father, forgive me.  Grant me the courage and willingness to move forward with your plans for me.  Please let my "eye be single"!  Thank you, Father!