Thank You

As is probably evident in my inconsistent blogging, I find it difficult at times to blog about my day-to-day walk.  My "daily bread" though nourishing, doesn't always seem like "something to write home about" so to speak.  But then there are times like today where I just HAVE to publicly say "Thank You, God"!

I am very busy working on an ongoing project and today I had some real trouble with it.  In the course of my work, I need to be able to record to my computer, and all of a sudden the system that had been working fine for months wasn't working!  I could see the signal digitally but it was NOT being recorded!  I spent hours seeking the cause, and now understand the system much better than before, but it STILL wasn't working.  

My first inclination at times like this is to get very frustrated.  I had so much work to get done and was just wasting time!  These days, however, VERY closely following that first thought is a prayer - "Father, what is the purpose in this? You've promised that all things work together for good (Rom 8:28). Is there something I'm missing that you want me to hear?  Should I be focusing my attention elsewhere at the moment?  Your will be done, Father!"

Often under such circumstances, I'm re-directed - and I guess I was for a short bit of time - but this project kept calling to me.  I spent more time trying to sort things out - to no avail.  Then I once again took to formal prayer: "Father, if I'm missing something you're trying to tell me, please help me hear your voice!  And if it is within your will, please help me quickly to be able to get back to work doing this recording."  

On my next attempt things were working again!!!  Thank you, God!  

There are times where under such circumstances I'm able to see profound reasons why things happened the way they did.  I can't say that I see that today, but I trust my Heavenly Father.  I don't know if at some future point I will be called upon to help someone else with these sorts of issues, or what other reasons might be.  But for now, I'm able to get back to work, and I am grateful!

Father, thank you for the reminder that you are in control.  Thank you for taking control in my life and keeping that fact in my mind and heart.  Thank you for miracles and progress.  Father, I know you can manipulate time and I ask that if it be your will, I will be able to accomplish the rest of my work much more quickly than usual to make up for the missed productivity earlier today.  Regardless, I trust you Father, and am so grateful for your guidance and direction in my life!

Love

Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.  1 John 3:2-3 NIV
 

Sometimes I find myself feeling discouraged when I see that I am not making the progress I would like to make.  I find myself falling so short of what I feel God would have me be and do.  These words give me courage at times like this. What we will be has not yet been made known but we know that when he appears, we will be like him.  What a promise!  Even when we don't see it, change is occurring.

And yet, as I continue reading, the ideas set out seem SO far from achievable.  How can I possibly live in such a way that I don't continue to sin?  In fact, earlier, even John says that if we say we haven't sinned, we're liars! (1 John 1:8).  Then I come to these words: "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything."  1 John 3:18-20 NIV

This is indeed what Jesus preached.  Jesus wasn't concerned about all the many dos and don'ts that the spiritual leaders of the day said were so important.  His focus was on love for those around him and he clearly demonstrated love with action!
 

"Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him.  And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us."  1 John 3:21-23  NIV

This is what I am called to focus on to believe in the name of Jesus and to love those around me.  Or as Jesus put it when he was asked what God wanted of us, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God is one Lord, and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You must love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”  Mark 12:29-31 ISV

A song comes to mind - a verse set to music.  It is Micah 6:8: "He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with thy God?  KJV

I realize that part of believing in God is trusting that He is indeed working in me both to will and to do of His good pleasure as I have asked.  No, I am not perfect, but I can trust the one who is to guide my path.  And instead of driving myself crazy with trying to live up to a bunch of rules and regulations about how to be in this world - what to eat, what to wear, what to see - I can focus on love for God and those around me and this is how I can set my heart at rest in His presence.  This certainly seems a fitting message for Valentine's Day.  Father, please show me how best to express Your love to those around me this Valentine's Day!  

Thank you, Father, for your promises of freedom from sin.  Thank you for your promises that you are molding me to be like you - even when I seem so far from that ideal, Father!  Thank you for continuing to work in me both to will and to do of your good pleasure.  As you fill me with love for you and for those around me, I see that your love does indeed cast out fear, and I am grateful.  May your love shine through me to those around me!  Thank you, Father!

Separation & Choice

Well, this morning I'm once again looking at the creation story.  I woke up this morning feeling unsettled.  I really didn't know what all I was feeling.  I knew I wasn't looking forward to a dental appointment, but this felt like more than that and I didn't know what it was.  I found myself thinking, I need to be able to somehow gather these feelings together so they don't feel so overwhelming and so I can sort out what's really going on.  

Immediately the creation story came to mind - God gathering the waters together so that the dry land could appear.  After all, water can often represent emotion.  So, once again I'm looking at this story to see what guidance God has for me here.

"Then God said, “Let the water beneath the sky come together into one area, and let dry ground appear!” And that is what happened: God called the dry ground “land,” and he called the water that had come together “oceans.” And God saw how good it was.  Then God said, “Let vegetation sprout all over the earth, including seed-bearing plants and fruit trees, each kind containing its own seed!” And that is what happened: Vegetation sprouted all over the earth, including seed-bearing plants and fruit trees, each kind containing its own seed. And God saw that it was good. The twilight and the dawn were the third day." Genesis 1:9-13 ISV

As I re-read the story this morning, I am once again caught by the notion that the waters have to be gathered together for the dry ground to appear, and that vegetation could only grow once that had happened.  Vegetation is so important!  It provides both nourishment and shelter.  This suggests to me that in order to experience the figurative nourishment and shelter I seek in my life, the figurative waters in my life need to be gathered together.   

But how do I do that? This question takes me to the crux of the creation story.  It does not describe God laboring over the waters to get them all to come together in one space!  "God said. . . . And that is what happend"!  A choice was made, a decision finalized, and the results appeared.  

Is this what causes me so much problem in life?  I don't make a clear choice.  I want this, but don't want to let go of that to get it?  I have mixed feelings about what I want so can never clearly say, "Let this be done."?  I think of the passage in James, "But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord." James 1:6-7 KJV  It sure makes sense, doesn't it?  How can you create something if you're spending all your time arguing with yourself about what you want to make? "let him ask in faith, nothing wavering."  These words remind me that I need to ASK!  I think of another passage in James, "ye have not because ye ask not". (James 4:2)

As I re-read this verse, I am drawn to the verses around it, starting with the first verse of the chapter before it:

"And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.  From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God."  James 3:18-4:4 KJV

Once again, I see something I haven't seen before.  Though I know the chapters and verses in the bible were, for the most part, something added to the text much later, so often when I read I start at the beginning of a chapter - and miss out on some things that way.  This passage really makes me stop and think when I start with the idea of being a peace maker (last verse of previous chapter).  I can certainly relate to "lusts that war in my members".  Way too often I find myself fighting a battle about food.  I want to eat in a healthy way to best support my body and mind - but things that aren't good for me SOUND so good and I crave them!  And I sometimes I just don't want to take the time to cook a healthy meal, I'd rather grab something fast. It never before occurred to me that this is the foundation of war - these battles within our own bodies; these lustings after things which are not God's will for us because they hurt us. 

Father, forgive me for not fully turning away from those lustful food thoughts, for "committing adultery with them in my heart"! And yet, I know I am not strong enough to be free of them on my own.  Father, I seek a miracle in my life again this morning - that I may be of one mind about my health and choices related to it and that any lusting after things that are not good for me be removed.  May this creation story be exemplified in my life, Father. May the upper and lower waters be separated, and the lower waters gathered into one place so the dry ground can appear and grow vegetation in my life!  I want to bear fruit, Father, and I want the fear gathered together and separated out so that the Fruits of the Spirit can grow healthy and strong in my life.  I want the light separated from the darkness in my life, Father! I know that you can speak and it will be done.  Father, please keep me focused on your will and help me totally discard thoughts that might turn me from your path for me.  As I move through this day, please give me the guidance and power I need.  I look for you to work in my life both to WILL and to DO of your good pleasure (Phil 2:13), Father.  

You remind me that I need to do all things without murmuring or complaining (Phil 2:14), Father.  This too is a tough habit to break, but I see it is often a cause of my troubles.  Instead of just getting in and cooking a healthy meal, I find myself whining, for example, about how much work it is to cook a healthy meal and the time it takes - and then choosing a less healthy alternative.  Father, forgive me.  Grant me the courage and willingness to move forward with your plans for me.  Please let my "eye be single"!  Thank you, Father!

Circumcision

This morning, my reading brought me to one of those passages that can be so hard to understand:

At that time the Lord told Joshua, “Make for yourselves some flint knives and circumcise the Israelis who haven’t been circumcised yet.” So Joshua made some flint knives and circumcised the Israelis at Gibeath-haaraloth.  Joshua circumcised them because all of the males among the people who came out of Egypt—that is, all the warriors—had died during their journey through the wilderness following their departure from Egypt.  Although everyone who had left Egypt had been circumcised, nevertheless all the people born during the journey after their departure from Egypt had not been circumcised.  The Israelis traveled 40 years in the wilderness until the entire nation—that is, the warriors who had departed from Egypt—had perished because they hadn’t listened to the voice of the Lord. The Lord had promised them that he would not let them see the land that he had sworn to give us, a land that flows with milk and honey.  As a result, it was their descendants, whom he raised up to take their place, that Joshua circumcised. They had remained uncircumcised, because they had not been circumcised during their journey.  When the circumcision of the entire nation was complete, they remained in their places within the camp until they were healed. Then the Lord told Joshua, “Today I have rolled the disgrace of Egypt away from you.” That’s why that place is called “Gilgal” to this day.   Joshua 5:2-9 ISV

The practice of circumcision frankly seems rather barbaric.  Why did God require this of them? And what possible meaning does it have for me today?  One thing is certain. With all of their men disabled while they healed, this act would have been a major demonstration of faith as they were surrounded by enemies at the time!  

But if circumcision was so important, why not require it of the Gentiles in Paul's time? (Acts chapter 15 through 21). And why wasn't it done during the 40 years in the wilderness? One thing that strikes me is that IF some of these men decided to make inappropriate sexual advances towards someone, this would be a fairly visible sign of who they were and MIGHT help them make a different choice - though I'm not sure it really would or did.  Certainly, though at times a very visible sign of their covenant with God, it would not be visible under most circumstances.  

Why was the covenant just sealed between God and the men?  And just what was this covenant anyway?  I go back to the story of when circumcision was first prescribed by God.  Genesis chapter 17 tells the story of the covenant between God and Abraham and his descendants. 

The people were to:

• "live in constant awareness" that God was with them
• to be "blameless"
• and the males were to be circumcised

In turn, God promised to:

• make Abraham the father of many nations with many descendants - some of them kings.  
• to be their God
• and to give them the land of Canaan as an eternal possession
• and to give Abraham's 100 year old wife a son.

Though I can't say that I really understand the purpose behind the required circumcision, it certainly seems to be tied to the promise of the land of Canaan - and as such, very fitting in Joshua's day as they are so close to seeing the promise fulfilled.

I note that after the circumcision, God told Joshua, "Today I have rolled the disgrace of Egypt away from you.” Joshua 5:9 ISV  As I look up the meanings of the words in the original language, the meaning of the word "Egypt" jumps out at me.  It comes from the idea of "limitation".  And then I remember the verse from Jeremiah "Circumcise yourselves to the Lord and remove the foreskin of your heart" Jeremiah 4:4 ISV  Is this somehow what this is about?  What could the foreskin of the heart represent? And how does that relate to limitation symbolized by Egypt?

It strikes me that the heart often represents one's deepest beliefs, and that physically circumcising the males in Joshua's time was a clear act of faith - of putting their very lives in God's hand - as ALL of their soldiers were disabled for several days even though they were surrounded by enemies.  Perhaps in a similar way, circumcision of the heart represents excising doubts and acting on a deep-seated belief that God can be trusted.  This indeed moves us beyond limitation as we trust God and open to the possibilities presented as we allow Him to direct our paths.

Father, once again I hear those words in my heart, "Lord, I believe.  Help Thou mine unbelief!" (Mark 9:24).  May I no longer think or behave as though I still live in "Egypt", but instead remember that nothing is impossible with you (Matthew 17:20, Luke 1:37).  May those deep-seated beliefs in limitation that have been a part of my experience in the past be "circumcised" - fully removed so that I trust you fully to the very depths of my soul.  Father, thank you for the many experiences in recent months that have been such concrete demonstrations to me that nothing is impossible with you!  Thank you for the miracles I have seen so far and that I know You continue to perform for me daily.  You are an amazing God, and I am SO grateful!

Take 12 Stones

"Pick up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan where the priests’ feet were standing, bring them along with you, and put them down where you camp tonight."  Joshua 4:3  ISV

This morning I was reading in the book of Joshua.  I read of how God instructed Joshua to take over where Moses had left off, how Joshua sent spies across the Jordan, and how God parted the waters of the Jordan for the Israelites to pass - just as he had done with the waters of the Red Sea when they left Egypt.  As I think of that moment, I realize that after 40 years in the wilderness, there would have been a whole new generation of people that had not been there for the parting of the Red Sea.  God revealed himself to them that day in a way that would verify the stories they had been told and assure them that God was still with them even though Moses no longer was there.

Then, before the priests stepped out of the Jordan, God told Joshua to have the Israelites choose 12 stones from the riverbed.  So Joshua chose one man from each tribe and told them:

"Cross over again in front of the ark of the Lord your God into the middle of the Jordan River. Then each of you pick up a stone on his shoulder with which to build a memorial, one for each of the tribes of Israel. Let this serve as a sign among you, so that when your children ask in times to come, ‘What do these stones mean to you,’ then you’ll say to them, ‘Because the waters of the Jordan River were cut off in front of the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan River, the waters of the Jordan were cut off.’ So these stones will become a memorial to the Israelis forever.” Joshua 4:5-7 ISV

This really struck me.  God knows how easily we can forget the way that we've been led, and how hard it can be for our children to understand what we've been through as God led us.  One thing that can help is to take physical reminders of the journey and create an "altar".  I remember that I had started to do this with my most recent journey.  I have had several VERY concrete examples of God's guidance as I've moved into this new career and wanted to remember them.  But I never finished "gathering my stones and building my altar". 

This happened for two reasons that were closely entwined:

1. I wanted to build something that was rather elaborate.  Instead of simply choosing 12 stones and setting them in place, I wanted to make something more beautiful and striking - more like the altars that had been crafted for the tabernacle than a simple pile of stones.  I wanted my experiences documented in a scrapbook that was beautifully crafted and would draw the eye.
2. I was too busy "possessing the land" to finish my memorial.  I DID start it, but never got it completed because I never had time to create the beautiful "altar" that I wanted to create in the midst of following all the guidance I was receiving regarding my new ventures.

At this point, I'm not sure what to do with regard to this "altar" of remembrance.  For me, is there a significance in choosing 12, like there was for the Israelites?  What would the stones represent for me?  The stones in the story would have been ones that weren't ordinarily seen, coming from the depths of the experience and usually covered by water.  Water can represent many things.   What might it represent for me here?  As I think back to the guidance I received as I contemplated the creation story, I remember water as representing emotions.  What "touch stones" might there be in my experiences that are in danger of being hidden by my emotions?  Where were my fearful emotions held back in a powerful way to allow me to move forward more easily?  Perhaps these are the types of experiences I should look for as I seek to build this "altar of remembrance". 

When I re-read the story, I realized something else.  Perhaps I've been too hard on myself in thinking I should have built the altar before now.  Everyone (except the priests carrying the ark) crossed that river.  THEN the 12 were told to go BACK into the riverbed to choose their stones.  Perhaps now is my time to go BACK to the riverbed and choose my stones?

Father, thank you for the way you have been leading me!  I am so amazed at what you have done in and through me!  And your gentleness, Father!  So often when I start to beat myself up thinking I should have done more or different, you step in and ease my mind as you once again did this morning.  Thank you!  Father, I once again seek your guidance as to how I am to memorialize this experience.  Thank you for guidance in this matter as well as any others that may come up.   I seek your will this day, Father.  May your will be done in my life, I pray.  Thank you, my Father!  Thank you!

Grassy Days

Days seem to just fly by.  And I discover it has once again been several days since I posted on my blog.  I think of the verse from Psalms 103:15-16:

"As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more."  NIV

Sometimes my days do indeed seem like grass.  I work hard, get a lot done, but looking back I wonder what I've really accomplished.  Thinking of grass takes me to this passage from Isaiah:

"The voice said, Cry. And he said, What shall I cry? All flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field: The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: because the spirit of the Lord bloweth upon it: surely the people is grass. The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever. O Zion, that bringest good tidings, get thee up into the high mountain; O Jerusalem, that bringest good tidings, lift up thy voice with strength; lift it up, be not afraid; say unto the cities of Judah, Behold your God! Behold, the Lord God will come with strong hand, and his arm shall rule for him: behold, his reward is with him, and his work before him. He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:6-11  KJV

It could be easy to become discouraged and depressed by thinking about the seeming futility of human life, but God's promises lift me up.  God indeed feeds me and leads me like a shepherd.  I don't have to be able to see where we are going or know the purpose.  I don't even have to be able to see where I've been.  I can simply trust my Good Shepherd to take loving care of me - leading me in the right paths and directing my feet as He sees best. These verses remind me that it's my time to lift up my voice with strength and not be afraid.  

Today I return to a venue where I can experience a lot of fear, but I can indeed trust my Shepherd.  Father, I choose this day to lift up my voice with strength and not be afraid.  I know this is only possible if YOU do it in me!  I remember that when you ask me to do something you also give me the ability to do it, and I rely on that, Father.  I am so glad you are not one who takes delight in our failings, but instead, keep me from falling as has been said:

"Now to the one who is able to keep you from falling and to make you stand joyful and faultless in his glorious presence, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus the Messiah, our Lord, be glory, majesty, power, and authority before all time and for all eternity! Amen."  Jude 24-25  ISV

 Father, this morning I once ask for you to do for me as the Psalmist has said: 

"You make a broad place for my steps, so my feet won’t slip." Psalms 18:36  ISV

I remember that the "joy of the Lord" is my strength (Neh 8:10) and also remember that in your presence is fullness of joy (Ps 16:11). Father, please keep me in your presence always so that any fears may be fully eradicated and my heart be full of joy instead. May your will be done in my life, Father - this day and every day. Thank you!  Father, I seek your wisdom and guidance this day.  You know my concerns and the tasks that are before me.  As the song says, "Guide me O Thou great Jehovah".

"Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation."   Isaiah 12:2KJV

Thank you, Father!