Gifts

For the last several days, I've been pondering Romans chapter 12.  The first couple of verses were what I looked at in my last post.  My eye next went to verses 6-8: 

" We have different gifts based on the grace that was given to us. So if your gift is prophecy, use your gift in proportion to your faith.  If your gift is serving, devote yourself to serving others. If it is teaching, devote yourself to teaching others. If it is encouraging, devote yourself to encouraging others. If it is sharing, share generously. If it is leading, lead enthusiastically. If it is helping, help cheerfully.^"  (ISV)

Father, what is the gift you have given me?  As I pondered the gifts mentioned, I first looked at each more in depth.  What do each of these gifts entail?  I looked at each in Strong's concordance and from various translations to try to get a deeper understanding of each:

• Prophecy in proportion to faith - This gift includes prediction, as we might expect, but apparently also inspirational speaking, and even writing poetry!  It is to be measured by our conviction.
• Service devoted to serving others - Also interpreted "ministry", this gift is about doing for others - it particularly involves doing things at someone else's direction and comes from a word that means to run errands.
• Teaching devoted to teaching others - As one might expect, this one is about instructing others.
• Encouraging devoted to encouraging others - Literally "to call near", this one has a wide range of meanings and is translated "exhortation" in several Bible versions.  It includes invitation, consolation,  encouragement, entreaty, and even instruction.
• Sharing generously - Also interpreted "giving" it means to impart.  As I ponder this I realize it would apply not only to sharing of one's goods, but also of one's inner self. The word interpreted "generously" also means sincerity and mental honesty - free of hypocrisy.
• Leading enthusiastically - Literally "to stand before" this word is also translated "ruling".  It is not only about presiding over, but protecting, guarding, and giving aid.  The word interpreted "enthusiastically" literally means speed and includes eagerness and diligence.
• Helping cheerfully - This word means being compassionate, showing mercy to others and helping the afflicted.

When I started looking at this list, it was with the idea that I would gain clarity on what my gift was so I could clearly focus on it.  After all, before starting the list, Paul clearly said we each had DIFFERENT gifts and we should each use the one we have.  But as I read through the list, it seemed that I had been given MOST of these gifts to different degrees.  A passage from Luke 12:48 flitted through my mind - "For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required".  Frankly, that thought scared me and I knew I needed to immediately turn that fear over to God to be healed.  Father, I trust you to work through me to accomplish what you will.  "Lord, I believe, help Thou mine unbelief!"  

 

Not wanting to really accept the increased responsibility, I argued a bit about it internally.  The list of gifts was given in conjunction with the example of how one body has many parts - each with its own ability, but all working together for the good of the whole.  After all, the hand is not a foot.  The mouth is not a hand.  So how could I have more than one of these gifts?  I'm just one part of the body, not the whole!  But as I was thinking these thoughts, God quietly pointed out to me that sometimes the hands are full and the foot or even the mouth steps in to help move something when needed.  While there are some things a body part can't do for another - my foot can't chew my food, for example - there are things that they CAN do.  My hands can communicate if my mouth can't for some reason - or even if it can and is communicating, they can supplement the communication.  My hearing can give me information about my surroundings if my eyes can't for some reason - etc.  

 

As I continue to think about all this, I begin to feel enthusiasm building.  I'm starting to see the picture.  I am indeed like that hand.  Its main function may be to hold and touch things, but it does not do that in isolation.  For example, it helps the mouth be able to speak by adding gestures to enhance the meaning the mouth is trying to get across.  While the hand is not the part that chews the food, it DOES help get the food to the mouth so food can be eaten.  While I do not walk on my hands (though of course some folks do), my hands help put shoes on my feet to protect them as they walk, and sometimes grasp handrails or other supports to help with locomotion. 

 

As I ponder these ideas, I start to see that I probably DO have one main gift, but that it can and should be used to supplement the others.  I do not operate in isolation and the focus on a particular gift is not meant to be a focus on trying to say - "no that's not my job - that's the foot's job".  It is meant instead to be a focus to see more and more how I can use my gift in support of others. Though this understanding does nothing to lessen my responsibility, I somehow DO feel a sense of relief.  I am NOT meant to be the whole body.  I DON'T have to do it all.  I just need to do my part as directed by God.

Father, thank you for this!  You never cease to amaze me with how gentle you are with me.  You understand my fears and you don't make fun of me for them or condemn me for them.  You love me through them - gently showing me what I need to understand to let go of them.  It's true!  Your perfect love DOES cast out my fear, and I am SO grateful!  Father, once again I reaffirm that my place is within your capable hands.  Thank you for your promise that no one can snatch me out of your hand (John 10:28) - not even myself!  Father, please use me as you see fit.  Thank you for the work you continue to do in my life.  I love you, Father!

Be Transformed

The only Bible I have that's suitable for artistic journaling is one I've had for MANY years.  It's a hard-cover Bible that was starting to look pretty beat up.  Soooo, I decided to re-cover it.  (For more information on how I did this, you can check here.)  Once I had the new cover, I wanted to decorate it.  Since the cover was vinyl, my options were limited.  I decided to use stickers that I had on hand.  You see the result above.  

You may recognize the quotes. "Speak Lord" is from the story of a young Samuel sleeping in the temple rooms and learning to recognize and listen to God's voice.  Father, may I always recognize and listen to Your voice!

The second is from the 12th chapter of Romans.  Verses 1 and 2 read:

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (NIV)

As the New Century Version puts it:

"So brothers and sisters, since God has shown us great mercy, I beg you to offer your lives as a living sacrifice to him. Your offering must be only for God and pleasing to him, which is the spiritual way for you to worship.   Do not be shaped by this world; instead be changed within by a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to decide what God wants for you; you will know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect."

This passage is SO full!  It describes "true and proper" worship.  We're called to offer ourselves to God as a living sacrifice - His to do with as He pleases.  This is the real way to worship Him.  On one level this is the biggest sacrifice we could ever make - the letting go of all the plans and ideas we have for our lives and putting ourselves totally in God's hands to do with as He pleases.  However, as I come to know God more and more, I realize this is no real sacrifice at all!  Yes, I sometimes have to let go of things I think I want, but "EVERY good and perfect gift comes from Him" (James 1:17).  The only time He takes things away from me is when He wants to give me something better!  He sees the end from the beginning and knows what's best, and I KNOW that living as He would have me live is the path to true happiness.  I know this not just because it's something I've been told, but because it's something I've experienced.  So, Father, why then do I sometimes forget, and become upset at things that happen in my life?  I KNOW that since I've given myself to you, nothing comes my way that is not a part of your plan!  Father I want to STAY in that place of trust!

The answer is in the very next sentence - "be changed within by a new way of thinking" or "be transformed by the renewing of your mind".  As I continue to put Him first, spending the very first part of each day in His presence listening to Him, I am transformed at depth.  The very way I think is changed!  Thank you, Father! As you are changing me at depth and changing my thought patterns, I stay in that place of trust more and more. I am so grateful for the work you are doing in me!

Then comes a wonderful promise: "Then you will able to decide what God wants for you; you will know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect."  So many times in my life I have struggled with the question of what to do in a particular situation.  I remember many times talking to God and saying, "Father, I'm willing to do it either way - please show my Your will."  Here is His promise & His prescription.  As I put myself fully in His hands, holding nothing back and allow Him to transform me, I will KNOW what is good and pleasing to Him. He's promised!

Father, Thank you for your many promises to me!  Thank you that you are changing me at depth and that because you are, I can KNOW your will for me.  Thank you for that voice behind me that directs me back to the path if I turn in the wrong direction (Is 30:21)!  I am so grateful for your guidance, Father!  I love you!

In the Beginning . . .

My title at the top says "In the Beginning God Created" - a quote from Genesis 1:1, of course.  My initial reason for highlighting those words were that they seemed a great place to start a creative journaling Bible.  To think - creativity is where God started too!  That thought was so affirming of my process!  

As I pondered the illustration throughout the day, however, I found myself thinking about how those last two words weren't centered - and it's so noticeable since they're right on top of the printed rectangle!  I wondered if maybe it would look better if I found some way to cover the last word that extended so far.  That made me think about how the phrase would read without that last word - "In the beginning, God".  That's even more profound - and a reminder to me that God is ALWAYS there!  And any time I begin something - I want to recognize that God is there and look to Him for guidance at each beginning in my life (new day, new project, new thought, etc). 

Of course, as I look at the page again this morning, I realize the words wouldn't be centered with or without the 2nd word and removing that 2nd word would be more difficult than I would like anyway.  This "mistake" was simply to focus my mind on those words as I meditated throughout the day.  Both are meant to be there as a focus.  Yes - In the beginning God CREATED, AND - In the beginning, GOD!  Both phrases give lots of food for thought.

I've been working on this page for several days and while the "art" on this page is not my favorite, the process once again has fed me.  I keep being taught that it is the process, not the result that is important, and that even "mistakes" can be important teachers if I let them be.

My object for this page was simply to show the light shining into the darkness as an illustration of the first day of creation.  I specifically didn't want it to be a "sun" as that wasn't created until the 4th day.  And I wanted the "light" to stay pristine - not get "greened out" by the "darkness", nor did I want the light and dark to be too faded in appearance. I wanted the light to be bright and the dark to be dark (and yet still allow me to read the words on the page).  I spent quite a bit of time working with various mediums in my attempt to accomplish this goal.

It was only after completion that another verse came to me that spoke to me about why it was so important to make sure the area of "light" stayed bright.  John 1:5 says:

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it." (NLT)

My focus had been on illustrating that truth, without my realizing it! :)  No matter how dark things may seem at times, the darkness can not extinguish that light!  The word translated "extinguish" can also mean "understand" - the darkness can not understand the light.  I had a time in my life where I experienced a deep, suicidal depression; where the darkness seemed so complete that I had a really hard time understanding that that the light was there at all. But it ALWAYS is.  The darkness can not extinguish it!  Thank you, God!

I think about how these first few verses in Genesis describe my own journey (verses 1-4, NLT): 

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters. Then God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.  And God saw that the light was good. Then he separated the light from the darkness." 

There was a time when darkness covered the deep waters of my soul.  But notice the truth of the situation.  Even before God created the light, the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters!  God was right there with me even in the darkest part of my journey where I could see no light at all.  Then God said "Let there be light" - and the darkness could no longer overpower me!  Thank you, God! The light is indeed GOOD!  

I continue to ponder the way God separated the light from the darkness.  What is the significance of that in my life right now?  I look up the word "separated" in Strong's concordance and find that it can mean "divide - literally or figuratively - separate, distinguish).  As I think about that, my mind goes to another text.  Malachi 3:2-3 talks about God being a refining fire purifying His people. He has separated out that darkness in my life, freeing me from it so I walk in the light. Thank you, God!

• Ps 56:13 - "For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, so that I may walk before God in the light of the living!" ISV
• Is 9:2 - "The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined." KJV
• Ps 89:15 - "Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, Lord." NIV

Father, I am so grateful to be walking in your light!  I'm also grateful for the way you are clearing out any pockets of darkness within me.  Indeed, "The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn that grows brighter until the full light of day." (Prov 4:18 ISV)  What a wonderful promise! I am so grateful for the work you are doing in my life. I love you, Father!

My Instructor

The other day my daughter was over and we colored pages from a Christan coloring book.  The picture I colored had been sitting on my desk since then, and this morning seemed like the right time to do something with it.  I had expected to make some sort of wall hanging out of it, but as I saw it this morning, I wondered if I could find a place for it in my Bible instead.  

There wasn't room for it near Psalm 32, so I turned to the beginning of the book. In this particular Bible, after a brief introduction to each book of the Bible, there is a section on how to study that particular book.  Since it is my intention to let God be my instructor instead of following someone else's study format, I'd been thinking to cover that portion with white gesso to give myself more room for journaling.  It was the perfect place for the picture - and the perfect sentiment, too.  What better to replace that "how to study" section than with a promise that God will be my instructor!

And it didn't stop there.  After adding the illustration, I started reading.  Psalm 1:1-3 (ISV) says:

"How blessed is the person, who does not take the advice of the wicked, who does not stand on the path with sinners, and who does not sit in the seat of mockers. But he delights in the Lord’s instruction, and meditates in his instruction day and night.  He will be like a tree planted by streams of water, yielding its fruit in its season, and whose leaf does not wither. He will prosper in everything he does."

Now, I don't believe that the study guide counts as "the advice of the wicked".  I'm sure whoever wrote it was a Christian and that the guide has been a blessing to many.  However, as I read the verses, I felt affirmation in my choice.  Why would I want to take my instruction from mere humans, when the MASTER teacher is eager to instruct me?

Father, it is so amazing that the King of the Universe is willing and eager to take the time to instruct me individually!  I get private lessons from the BEST!  Thank you SOOO much for your love for me, and for your patience with me.  You are a great teacher!  You are so gentle in your instruction - despite the fact that too often I'm a slow learner!  Thank you for your loving guidance in my life.  Thank you for the promise of fruit when the time is right, of health and strength (leaf does not whither) and of prosperity - a prosperity that goes so far beyond mere material things!  I love you, Father!

  

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This illustration came from "Beautiful Psalms: Adult Coloring Book" by Christian Coloring Books.  It was a full page, but I didn't really care for the top portion, so cut it off and covered the little bits of illustration at the top that I didn't like with white gesso.

One Hand or Two?

This morning I continued reading into the 4th chapter of Ecclesiastes.  Verse 6 really jumped out at me:

"One hand full of rest is better than two fists full of labor and striving after wind." (NAS)

Obviously, God is working to get through to my workaholic nature and remind me of the importance of taking care of myself.  Yesterday it was about the importance of taking time to eat well, today it's about resting.  

But God is talking to me about more than simply getting my sleep.  My mind goes to Hebrews chapters 3 & 4 - especially chapter 4 verses 9-11.

"There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from His. Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest . . ." (NKJV)

The overall passage speaks about how the Israelites whom God had led out of Egypt did NOT enter into His rest because of their unbelief.  I think back over the stories about the journey out of Egypt to the promised land.  The two things I see God address with them over and over are their tendency to be afraid and their tendency to complain about things.  These were the behaviors that kept them out of the promised land - that kept them from entering His rest.  

How often do I do these things?  How often do I complain?  How often do I worry about things - and isn't worry just a form of fear?  

Over the course of the last several days, I've had an opportunity to see my tendency toward both - and the changes God is making in me in this regard.  My husband has had to put in a lot of overtime working on a project with several of his co-workers.  This, of course, cut into his normal time to rest, deal with personal things, and spend time with ME.  

• Complaining - This situation is one where I ordinarily would have done a lot of complaining (inside my head if not out loud).  I am grateful that is not where I spent my energy.  While the thoughts flitted through my head occasionally, I mostly felt gratitude that I knew God was in charge - and that He had given me the opportunity to get things done that I might not have accomplished otherwise.

• Worry - My husband's work on this project required him to get considerably less sleep than usual and I caught myself worrying about his safety driving home.  Fortunately, as soon as the concern entered my mind, I spoke with God about it and let it go, trusting that He was indeed keeping everything running right.  

For some time God has been teaching me about the importance of faith, joy, and gratitude.  And now He's showing me the results of ignoring those lessons. Complaining and worry keep me from truly entering His rest.  Father, I CHOOSE to enter into Your rest!  

I've often thought about Jesus and His tendency to spend so much of the night in prayer.  Clearly His disciples were too tired to do so.  Why wasn't Jesus?  It seems to me that THIS is the answer.  Communion with His Father kept Him in that place of rest, giving Him the rest He needed! I think of the time that the disciples came to Him concerned that He hadn't had time to eat. John 4:32 tells us: "But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.”  It seems to me as I contemplate this, that Jesus had REST that I knew nothing about as well!

Father, through the writer to the Hebrews, we are told to be diligent in working to enter Your rest.  I see the importance of the focus on the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22,23) instead of complaining and worrying.  And I know that the only way my human tendencies toward fear and worry are transformed is through Your power.  I see that you have already been working in me to create these changes and am grateful.  I am also grateful that you have promised that the work you've begun in me will be seen to completion (Phil 1:6)!  Thank you for the victories this weekend over worry and complaining - the opportunity to more fully enter into Your rest.  I am reminded that in listing faith, joy, and gratitude as the antidotes, I missed an important one - love.  You've told us that your perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18) and that of the three - faith, hope and love - the most important and most powerful is LOVE (1st Cor 13).  Father I am SO grateful for your love for me!  I ask that I be an open vessel so that your love can so fill me that there is no room left for worry or complaint.  I see that You have already started this process in me and I'm so grateful!  Thank you, Father!  I love you.

What's cookin'?

 

The more time I've spent reading here in Ecclesiastes, the more I realize that at least part of what it's talking to me about is time management - a concept that is often on my mind.

 

This morning I found myself going back over some verses in Ecclesiastes chapter 2.  Initially Solomon sounds pretty depressed:

"Then I said to myself, 'As is the fate of the fool, it will also befall me.  Why then have I been extremely wise?' . . . And how the wise man and the fool alike die. So I hated life, for the work which had been done under the sun was grievous to me; because everything is futility and striving after wind. Thus I hated all the fruit of my labor for which I had labored under the sun, for I must leave it to the man who will come after me.  And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? . . . For what does a man get in all his labor and in his striving with which he labors under the sun? Because all his days his task is painful and grievous; even at night his mind does not rest. . . Eccl 2:15-23

I can certainly relate.  I've been there:

• I've wondered if what I work so hard to accomplish makes any difference at all in the grand scheme of things - why I'm working so hard when few would notice if something happened to me and I was no longer doing all that work.  It would just be like a little blip on the radar screen that is soon forgotten.
• I've also had times where I found my tasks painful and challenging and at night had trouble getting my mind to shut off so I could sleep!

But then Solomon gives us a much better answer than falling into frustration and depression:

There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink and tell himself that his labor is good.  This also I have seen, that it is from the hand of God. For who can eat and who can have enjoyment without Him?" - Eccl 2:15-25 NAS

This sounds so similar to what he says in Eccl 3:12, 13 that I know I need to pay attention.  I've often found when reading the Bible that when something is repeated it's usually important!  Father, what is it that I need to notice here?  What are you trying to get my attention about?  I recognize the value in seeing good in all my labor - as I looked at yesterday.  You set the example for us at the very beginning as you created the world - to take the time to note at the end of the day that we've done a good job.  I can see how important this is for me to learn to emulate.  But what about the focus on "eat and drink"?

As I sit with that question, I realize - too often when I'm busy working, I don't want to take the time to stop and prepare a healthy meal for myself.  In fact, I can easily work through mealtime all together without much notice!  Just as some time ago God talked to me about the importance of sleep ("It is useless to get up early and stay up late, eating the food of exhausting labor - truly he gives sleep to those he loves." Ps 127:2 ISV), He is now reminding me that taking time to prepare food and enjoy eating it is part of His plan for me.  

How different God is than some of my earthly bosses have been (including myself some times!).  I've worked for bosses who want to see me working hard all the time, expect me to burn the midnight oil, and don't care if I am working so hard I don't have time for lunch or sleep.  They see that as simply what they're paying me for!  I am SO glad that is not the way God treats me!  Instead He reminds me to stop and rest and eat and enjoy life!

Thank you, Father!  You are such a caring, loving, Father!  I am happy to serve One who has my best at heart the way You do!  You care more about me than I do about myself!  No wonder that I enter into your gates with thanksgiving and into your courts with praise!  You are amazing and I am so grateful to be your child.  I love you, Father.

God's Gift

Continuing my look at Ecclesiastes chapter 3, I found myself drawn to verses 12 & 13:

"I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor—it is the gift of God." (New American Standard version)

Do I see good in all my labor?  How often do I complain about the things I have to do?  Do I truly recognize that what I've been given to do is God's GIFT to me?

The illustration that came to mind for me was that of birds building their nest.  One of the biggest blessings of rising early in the day is hearing the joyful songs of the birds as they praise God before going about their business of the day.  I think about the illustration Jesus gave regarding God's care for the sparrow - and how much more He cares for us.  I picture the birds building their nest with that song in their heart, and I know this is the way I want to meet the tasks in my day.  No matter what my tasks may be, I want to meet them with a joyful heart.

Which brings me to the verse that probably stood out to me the most:

"He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." (Eccl 3:11 - NIV)

 

What does that MEAN?????  That phrase - "He has also set eternity in their heart" (NAS) just really stood out to me.  I knew it was important, but I didn't know what it meant!  After reading it from several different versions and going to Strong's Concordance for a better understanding of the words used, I felt I was beginning to get a glimmer of understanding - and it is SUCH a promise for me!  

I'm sure I'm only scratching the surface, but as I studied this passage it began to speak to me.  God has placed the time-line for all eternity IN MY HEART!  As long as I am open to His leading, I can TRUST that whatever I feel led to do in the moment is what I am SUPPOSED to be doing!  I truly don't have to worry about it, but can just do what is put in me to do and trust that I will be re-directed as needed!  I don't have to see the big picture - I couldn't understand it anyway.  I just need to trust and continue to take the next step I see to take.

Thank you, Father!  I am so grateful!  Truly Your yoke IS easy and Your burden IS light! And in Your presence IS fullness of joy!  What a lovely way to start a day, Father!  I can INDEED do all things through Christ when I am filled with such a sense of peace and joy!  You are an amazing God and Father, and I love you.  Thank you!  Thank you!

Time to Dance!

Over the next several days, I'll be sharing from Ecclesiastes.  I started with THIS illustration:

As you can see, the illustration focuses on Eccl 3:4 (a time to dance), but I also particularly noticed the last half of verse 6.  The International Standard Version puts it this way: 

"a time to keep, and a time to discard"

I particularly noticed these two phrases because these are the things that currently are taking the bulk of my time:

• Dancing (including cueing and teaching dance) and 
• Going through my home and choosing which things to keep and which to discard.

Too often I worry about how I spend my time - am I focused on the right things?  Am I spending my time in the best way possible?  I can't get everything on my to-do list done immediately.  Am I prioritizing okay?  I hear God's voice telling me not to worry - to trust.  There is a time to dance, a time to keep, a time to discard - and this is my time to do so!

Father, thank you that you care enough about me to reassure me when I am tempted to worry about how I spend my time!  Thank you for the time to DANCE - and the time to keep and discard. Thank you for the love and joy you place within me!  

As I pray those words I find myself chuckling to myself.  While this is shaping up to be a great time to focus on some dance preparation, it is certainly NOT a time to actually dance as I had expected to do this weekend!  We had planned to go to a weekend dance event, but my husband's work changed our plans.  I COULD have been really upset about all of that, but I am STILL filled with joy!  Thank you, God!  

It reminds me of the day I caught myself as I said to a friend - "Isn't it a beautiful day?" One glance out the window showed it to be a gray and stormy day - but it was STILL a beautiful day for me because of what God had put in my heart.  We are told to rejoice ALWAYS and give thanks in ALL THINGS.  The more I understand the way God has me in the palm of His hand, the more I find myself doing exactly that.

Father, I am SOOO grateful for the way you keep everything running right!  You are such an amazing God and loving Father.  I am indeed grateful for this day you have given me and I will rejoice and be glad in it!

DO IT . . . As For The Lord

This morning I woke up from a dream about a woman I'll call "N" with whom I've had difficulty in the past because at least to my eyes she has not treated me as the friend she claimed to be.  I long ago forgave her and interactions have been cordial, though I seldom see her. 

At any rate, in my dream, this woman was in charge of a radio station that was about to go under.  As she talked to me about it, I made a suggestion about a content change that I thought would enable them to reach a much larger demographic and perhaps turn things around financially.  She wasn't at all sure she wanted to try it, but they HAD to do something.  She promised me that if it worked, she'd be sure to reward me.  At the time, I didn't feel it was necessary, but she said she would, and that was fine.

Some time later (in my dream), I happened to be in conversation with someone who talked about the station's change in venue (the change I had suggested), how forward thinking that change had been, and how the station really hit the market with the venue change at the right time.  I was pleased to hear that my suggestion had worked so well, and was eager to discuss it with "N" to hear how things had gone from her perspective.  

In my dream, I soon got my wish. She was effusive with talk of how well the change had worked, but told me that she had decided that since I already had so much, she didn't figure I really needed a reward, so she had given the reward money that she had planned to give to me to one of her friends or family members instead - because they really needed it.  She was sure I wouldn't mind.

Naturally, in the dream, I DID mind - though I didn't say so.  As I started to wake up, with that thought in my mind, I realized - "Wait a minute!  What am I doing begrudging her for her actions?  That idea wasn't mine, it was God's and indeed He HAS already blessed me abundantly.  If He doesn't choose to directly reward me through her in this situation, it's none of my business!"  Immediately, all resentment I had held toward this person in my dream left me (Thank you God!  What a miracle!)  As I lay in bed thinking about these things, a phrase came to mind.  It is found in two different places in the Bible - both written by Paul (emphasis mine):

"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free."  Ephesians 6:7-8 NIV

"Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve." Colossians 3:23-24 NASB

These passages are addressing the way believers who are slaves, should behave toward their masters.  As I read the passages in several translations, I realized that a few translations spoke of them being "servants" but most used the word "slaves".  And it suddenly hit me.  In the passage I was looking at the last several days (Psalm 143:8-12), one of the things I was to live, was that I was God's servant.  I had a feeling that if I looked up that word in the original language, it could also be translated "slave".  Sure enough, that's what I found.  I remembered a story I had recently read that was set in an era where slaves were common.  It was made clear that slaves could be - and were - loaned out to other people as the master chose.  The slave certainly didn't expect compensation, gratitude, or even proper treatment from the master to whom they were loaned.  They were where their master put them and that was that.  

I continued to ponder all these things and the change of heart I received the moment I chose to recognize that "N" didn't owe me anything in my dream because all my gifts and good ideas come from God.  Imagine how joy filled my life would be if I no longer felt any resentment, no matter how fleeting, toward anyone when they behaved in a way in which I would have felt slighted in the past!  What if I truly behaved as God's slave with no thought to whether or not I was receiving the earthly "rewards" to which I was "entitled"?  Another Biblical phrase comes to mind - that shows up 3 times in the NASB (again emphasis mine).  

• "In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me? - Psalm 56:4

• "In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?"  Psalm 56:11

• "The Lord is for me; I will not fear; What can man do to me?" Psalm 118:6

And I suddenly realize that FEAR was at the root of my previous behaviors; fear that I would not be treated fairly.  Fortunately, I've been promised that God's perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18).  Thank you, Father!

Father, thank you for your continued work in me to cleanse every corner of my heart.  Thank you that you take care of me so well! I trust you, Father; I am your slave.

As I pray those words, I hear His reply:

No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. John 15:15 NASB

And I suddenly realize how big a deal our adoption as children of God is!  We've been slaves - first slaves to sin, then slaves to Him as he purchased us from our evil master.  We would willingly serve Him as slaves for our whole lives when we realize that He purchased us and is such a caring master.  But He not only sets us free, He calls us friends! And when He sets us free, we are free indeed! ("The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son does remain forever.  So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed."   John 8:35, 36 NASB)

While looking up the previous verse, I accidentally hit something and found myself reading these words: 

"He who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who is seeking the glory of the One who sent Him, He is true, and there is no unrighteousness in Him." John 7:18 NASB

Clearly my initial behavior in my dream stemmed from "seeking my own glory".  But in my dream, as in real life, when I choose instead to seek the glory of the One who sent me, I experience an amazing sense of freedom and true joy.

Father, I think I'm finally starting to understand some of these things.  Thank you so much for purchasing my freedom and not only setting me free, but calling me friend - and your adopted child!  You are an amazing God!  Your love is so far beyond what humans can conceive!  Father, I realize that even though you have set me free, sometimes, I have behaved as though I were still a slave to my human sinful nature.  Father, I claim your freedom today.  I am indeed your slave and willingly serve you.  I am so grateful for your friendship and your love! You are an amazing God and Father!  I love you, Father.

He Means It!

This morning, I truly enter God's gates with Thanksgiving!

"Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.

Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

 Know ye that the Lord he is God:

it is he that hath made us, 

and not we ourselves; 

we are his people, 

and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, 

and into his courts with praise: 

be thankful unto him, 

and bless his name.

For the Lord is good; 

his mercy is everlasting; 

and his truth endureth to all generations." 

- Psalm 100

He has indeed done marvelous things!  

"I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart;
    I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.
I will be filled with joy because of you.
    I will sing praises to your name, O Most High.

My enemies retreated;
    they staggered and died when you appeared."

                                                       - Psalm 9:1-3

As you can see, this "Tip In" that I've added to my Bible not only opens to show the text, but gives me a place to showcase specific instances of God's power over my enemies.  (see my last blog post about how my enemies are a lack of faith, joy, etc).  I am so grateful - not only for the blessings given, but the way He has demonstrated once again that His ways are not my ways and His ways are better!  And He definitely caused my "enemies" to retreat - to stagger & die as Psalm 9:3 says!

Yesterday I was working on something in preparation for an event last night.  It soon became clear that I would NOT have enough time to complete all that I felt I needed to get done in time to make my deadline.  One of those things was getting acquainted with some choreography so that we would be able to dance it cleanly.  I found myself starting to stress over it - after all, how does it look if the dance teachers can't dance the dances well?  

I caught myself starting to stress about things and reminded myself that stress was evidence that my "enemies" were seeking to overtake me.  I thought again of the truths I had been reminded about just yesterday:  I needed to put my trust in God, set my hope in Him and take refuge in Him because He is my God and I am His servant. (Ps 143:8-12)  So, I put the stress behind me and I prayed, asking God to deliver me from my enemies and restore joy, faith, and gratitude in my heart.  And He did it!  I was able to relax and trust, do what I was directed to do - even though we didn't get time to look at that choreography - and trust God for the rest.  

As Paul Harvey would have said, "the rest of the story" appeared that night when it came time to dance the choreography that we hadn't had time to look at.  We discovered that we HAD ALREADY looked at it - 2 weeks ago as a part of our role in choosing special choreography for something else!  Truly, before I called He had already answered! (Isaiah 65:24) 

Thank you, Father!  It is so much fun to see the miraculous ways you work in my life when I am willing to put my trust in you and let You vanquish those enemy thoughts.  Thank you for bringing these things to my attention and giving such a clear demonstration of how you can work in my life!  Father, once again I look to you for guidance for this day.  Please keep me centered in my faith in you and may your joy and love flow through me to all I meet this day.  Thank you, Father!

As I continued my devotions - wanting to do something to highlight Psalm 100 too - I got another chance to experience an enemy retreat!  The illustration here was simple - a stamp that I added a bit of color to:

I've used StazOn ink before with stamps in my Bible without prepping the page and while there was a bit of ghosting, there was no bleed-through.  So imagine my shock when, using the same type of ink, but green instead of black (and perhaps not as dry a stamp pad), I turned the page over to discover that the ink had bled through so badly that I couldn't read the text in some places on the back side of the page!  This is the sort of situation where I have too often allowed those "enemies" to take over - telling myself what a big mistake I made, how I've ruined everything, should never have started journaling in my Bible, but at least should have prepped the page, etc. etc.  However, with the memory of recent studies and events fresh in my mind, I didn't go there!  I asked God what He had for me to learn, instead. 

While I'll admit my first thought wasn't thanksgiving, I set about to figure out what I could do to fix things.  Then I thought of the white gesso that my husband had purchased for me without my asking him (and frankly, had wondered why he had - a good lesson for me about being thankful for ALL things!).  I decided today was definitely the day to try out that white gesso!  It took several thin coats before it covered well enough to suit me, but it DID work.  As you can see from the picture below, you now see no bleed-through on the page - just a little ghosting if you look closely!

Yes, I then had to hand-write some of the words in and it's not as "nice" as before, but I figure the very messiness of the text illustrates the meaning as the Psalmist speaks to God of his discouragement and depression - before  reminding himself that God can be trusted.  While I know it will seem like a small thing to some, it was of importance to me, and God knew it - and provided yet another example of 'Before they call I will answer'.  

Father, I am SOOOO grateful that you had that white gesso already in my hands before I needed it!  You and I both know that my "enemies" would have stood a better chance of getting to me if I had to see that mess in my Bible for several days or weeks before I got the supplies needed to fix it.  You are SO gentle with me - and so firm with my enemies!  Thank you, God!  I am so very grateful to you for all that you do on my behalf - both large and small things.  Thank you for the visual lesson of why I should be thankful for ALL the gifts you bring into my life - even when I don't understand them or even think I don't want them!  Father, I can just imagine how much more joy-filled my life will be as I take these lessons to heart and am grateful for ALL that shows up instead of sometimes trying to "look the gift horse in the mouth" and decide for myself whether the gift is "good or evil".  Father, I no longer want to eat from that tree!  I want to eat from your tree of LIFE!  Thank you, Father, for ALL your blessings - even those I've been too blind to recognize as such!  I love you, Father. I am SOOO grateful for your love and guidance, your gentleness, and your goodness! You are an amazing God!

Teach Me

Today I'm looking at Psalm 143:8-12:

"Let me hear Your lovingkindness in the morning; For I trust in You;
Teach me the way in which I should walk; For to You I lift up my soul.
Deliver me, O Lord, from my enemies; I take refuge in You.

Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God;
Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.
For the sake of Your name, O Lord, revive me.
In Your righteousness bring my soul out of trouble.
And in Your lovingkindness, cut off my enemies
And destroy all those who afflict my soul, For I am Your servant." (NAS)

I still am surprised sometimes the way the Holy Spirit can suddenly speak to me through words in a particular passage - and the way in which He uses different Bible versions and daily experiences to suddenly give me a new thought.  I found myself looking at verse 8 the other day as I was looking at various passages that spoke about experiencing God "in the morning".  But I found myself coming back to this particular passage, because it speaks to what I so often want from God - "Teach me the way in which I should walk."  I want Him to "direct my paths" (Prov 3:6).  As one who sees the whole picture, He is much better able to choose the best path for me to take!  

As I continue to work to illustrate verses that speak to me, I find things happening that direct me in unexpected ways.  In this case, it related to preparing the photos for this post.  I decided to zoom in a bit on the illustration.  I took the top half and saved it to a separate file, so we could see a close-up of the words "Teach me the way".  I then took the bottom half and thought I had done the same. But something happened and all I saw when I went to the directory on my computer, was the name of the first extra file I saved.  I thought about going back in to the software and creating the close up of the 2nd half again, but decided what I really wanted to focus on was "Teach me the way" so I just left things as they were.  However, as I started to write about it here, I realized that what I must have done was overwrite my first saved 1/2 picture, and what I have left is the portion that says "I should walk".  To me, this is God's voice telling me that there is something specific, I need to do here.  I can't just ask for guidance - I have to be willing to WALK the walk!

I know this can be an issue for me - which is why most mornings when I ask for guidance for my day, I also ask for willingness and ability to follow that guidance.  

As I was pondering this passage yesterday morning, several parts of it stood out to me:

• "Let me hear Thy loving kindness in the morning" - I do, Lord, Thank You!
• "Teach me the way in which I should walk" - yes, Father!
• "Teach me to do Thy will" - Yes, Lord!
• "Let Thy good Spirit lead me on level ground" - Yes!
• "And in Thy loving kindness cut off my enemies, And destroy all those who afflict my soul" - Wait - What?  Father God, while there is an occasional person who seems to have set themselves up to be my enemy, I don't want them destroyed! That sounds so harsh and bloodthirsty! Jesus, as my example, prayed for those who were killing Him, and told me to "love my enemies, bless those who curse me, and pray for them who despitefully use me" (Matt 5:44). 

As I sat thinking about this, another verse came to mind.  "What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.” Matt 15:11 (NIV)  And then another "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matt 12:34 NKJV). And I suddenly realized - those enemies who afflict my soul are NOT people out there somewhere - they are the negative thoughts and the pockets of selfishness within me.  They are any parts within me that are unlike the fruit of the Spirit.

Then, as I continued with my day I caught myself!  As the day moved into afternoon and things weren't going as planned to meet the deadlines I had, I started to get stressed about things.  As I heard myself speak in frustration, I realized that I was NOT living in "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" (Gal 5:22-23 ISV) in that moment.  I was allowing the things of the world to take my mind off my knowledge that God is in charge and is working all things together for my good (Rom 8:28) - and to focus instead on the outward appearances - leading me to think that all was not right with my world.  I KNOW better!  I've seen over and over again how God takes things that look like mistakes or "bad" in some way and turns them to my good!

Father, forgive me for forgetting how well you take care of me!  Father, please create that clean heart within me and fill me with the fruit of your Spirit.  May Your "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" so fill my heart and mind that these are the ONLY things that influences my words and actions - today and everyday!  Father, whether it is a seeming lack of time or sleep, a body that's hurting, unexpected things coming up, or any other circumstance that tries to take my mind from its focus on you, may I ALWAYS keep my mind on you and your love for me, and may this be what fuels my thoughts, words and actions!  Thank you, Father!

And then I get it. God told me through circumstances today (photo closeups for this blog) that there is something I need to be doing.  As I re-read today's focus verses, I realize it's plainly there in black and white. I was focusing on what I wanted from God in these verses - not what was MY part in it all!  I read it again - this time in the ISV (emphasis mine):

• In the morning let me hear of your gracious love, for in you I trust. 
• Cause me to know the way I should take, because I have set my hope on you. 
• Deliver me from my enemies, Lord.  I have taken refuge in you. 
• Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. 
• Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground. For the sake of your name, Lord, preserve my life. Because you are righteous, bring me out of trouble. Because of your gracious love, you will cut off my enemies. You will destroy all who oppose me, for I am your servant.

God has spoken pretty clearly to me this morning.  This is the path I should walk:

• Trust in Him (I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief! - Mark 9:24)
• Set my hope on Him.
• Take refuge in Him.
• Remember He is God (and have no other gods before Him!)
• Serve Him as He directs - I am His servant.

Father, thank you for showing me yesterday how far I still need to come in fully trusting you and taking refuge in you.  I think back to the verse you brought back to me a few days ago, "You will keep perfectly peaceful the one whose mind remains focused on you, because he remains in you." (Is 26:3, ISV)  Father, may I keep my mind focused on YOU, this day and every day - trusting you, hoping in you, taking refuge in you, making you my God, and serving you as you direct.  Thank you, Father!  You are INDEED my Father - a loving, patient, gentle Father, guiding my steps to bring me ever closer to you.  Thank you, Father!

That They May Be One

Here's a vellum page I added to my Bible.  It's hard to see in the picture, but the verse at the top reads:

"Father, I pray that they can be one.  As you are in me and I am in you, I pray that they can also be one in us."  John 17:21 (NCV)

This was a key verse for our wedding.  I am so grateful that my husband and I were brought together and were kept together through all these years!  As I pondered this verse, and thought back over the years of our marriage, the thought came to me - what does it mean to "be one".  I realized that this is one of those verses that too often I've glossed over, seeing it as pretty poetic language rather than really looking for a deeper understanding. 

As I started thinking about it more, I realized that when I heard this verse, I tended to think of clones - two bodies, same person.  Frankly, if I really allowed myself to think about it, this was a bit of a turn off.  I don't WANT to be a "Stepford wife"!  For a long time I've expressed the idea that rather than wanting everyone around me to think like me, I've thought that if two of us think exactly alike, one of us is unnecessary! 

As I continued to ponder, other verses came to mind:

"For we have many parts in one body, but these parts do not all have the same function.  In the same way, even though we are many people, we are one body in the Messiah and individual parts connected to each other. We have different gifts based on the grace that was given to us." Romans 12:4-6 (ISV)

That isn't describing clones!  As I think about what God created and about how even two snowflakes are not identical, I realize that clearly God isn't into making clones! 

In this context, I considered our marriage.  My husband and I are two VERY different people.  Though we certainly have areas of similarity (our desire to be led by God, for example), many times our viewpoints on any particular issue are quite different.  Instead of seeing this as a detriment, we've seen it as a strength.  Our joint decisions are much more likely to be sound ones because between the two of us, especially as we both open to God's guidance, we see more of the picture than either of us would have alone. The other piece of this is that with God's love within us, we both care about what each other thinks and desires.  So, while we are very different, with God's guidance, we find win/win solutions and work together toward the same goals. Is this what Jesus meant? 

Going back to the verse, I note that in speaking to His Father, Jesus said, "Just as you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be one in us" (ISV).  Wait a minute & think about  that!  Jesus didn't say, "Just as you, Father are in me" and stop there.  He continued with "and I am in you"!  When I've thought about this in the past, I've tended to think that what brings people together as one is having God in each of their hearts, so they are both being guided in the same way. 

But what about that "I am in you" piece?  Christians often talk about Jesus/God being in their hearts, but have we really understood the idea that we are in God's heart too?  He REALLY loves us, and our thoughts and desires are always taken into consideration in His plans - after all, HE is the one that created us to be the unique beings that we are!  As I think about this, I realize that there really are SEVERAL pieces that come together to make us "one".  God in each of our hearts, each of us in God's heart, and us in each other's hearts so we each take the other's opinions and needs into account. ("Love your neighbor as yourself").  

No wonder this is what we are told regarding the most important commandment: “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:29-31 (NIV)  This clearly is the path to unity - to peace, joy, longsuffering . . . all of the fruits of the spirit! (Gal 5:22,23)

Father, I am so grateful that you are a God who appreciates and encourages diversity!  Father, I want to "be one" with those around me as Jesus described - I in you, you in me, and loving those around me as myself.  I want to see those parts of myself and others that are "different" as the important parts that you created in us to make us each uniquely valuable, and appreciate them as your gifts to us!  Thank you for your love and guidance each day.  May your love so fill me that I indeed love my neighbor as myself!  Father, you know the decisions that face me this day.  May I be open to see and understand your guidance and willing to follow your lead.  Thank you, Father!

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For information on how I made this page, check my papercrafting blog here.

In the Morning

I woke up this morning with this song in my head - 

"Lord in the morning, Thou shalt hear my voice ascending high; to Thee will I direct my prayer, to Thee lift up mine eye."

As I lay there, various thoughts went through my head:

1. In the early morning when I wake up, I hear the birds singing, and it seems to me they're singing praises to God. 
2. God has been speaking to me about the importance of JOY in my life (one of the fruits of the Spirit) and I would do well to emulate the birds in this regard!
3. Waking up with a song of praise is a VERY good way to start a day!
4. There is something very special about EARLY MORNING for meeting with God.

I knew Psalms 5:3 was the verse I would be journaling about this morning, since the song is based in this verse:

"My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up." (KJV)

As I thought about this, I looked to see what other passages there were about the morning.  Several really stood out to me (emphasis mine):

• Exodus 16:12 - ". . . in the morning you will be filled with bread." (NIV)  While this is not really the context of this verse, it none-the-less seemed this morning like God was promising me something here - not just about physical bread, but more importantly about spiritual bread.  Thank you, God, for Your promise that I will be filled with that spiritual bread every morning!
• Psalm 30:5 - "Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning." (NKJV) Another beautiful promise - how sad if I'm not awake to experience this!
• Psalm 59:16 - "But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble." (NIV) Yes, Lord, I want to always wake up with a song of praise in my heart!
• Psalm 92:1,2 - "It is good to praise the Lord and make music to your name, O Most High, proclaiming your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night," (NIV)  This seems like a great prescription for living!  As I wake up in the morning, praise God for His love; In the evening, review the day and praise Him for His faithfulness in seeing me through it.
• Psalm 143:8 - "In the morning let me hear of your gracious love, for in you I trust. Cause me to know the way I should take, because I have set my hope on you." (ISV)  I am SO VERY grateful that God loves me enough to guide me.  I certainly can't see the future to know which way is best.  I'm so grateful that He can!
• Matthew 14:25 - "About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water." (NLT) It does seem to me that there is something very special about the early morning hours. It's a great time to encounter Jesus!
• Mark 1:35 - "In the morning, while it was still very dark, Jesus got up and went to a deserted place and prayed there." (ISV)  Jesus, our example, got up very early to spend time with God.  When I wake up in the wee hours, this is a good way for me to spend my time, too! 

Father, thank you for the early morning!  Thank you for your love, your guidance, your power and protection.  Thank you for your many promises, and for the spiritual food you give me each day!  I love you, Father.

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Bird stamp is a small stamp from HOTP.  For details about how I did the artwork on this page, please see this post.