For several months now, I've had a standing appointment with God . . . at 4 in the morning! I remember the words of the song "My God and I" coming to my mind as I realized I couldn't really relate to the picture painted by this song - God and I walking hand in hand through the fields as we talked and laughed together. But that was the relationship I wanted!!! So I began praying for it. And I felt impressed that if I chose to, He would meet me at 4 am every morning. It was an appointment I wanted to keep, but I wasn't sure I could, so I prayed that He awaken me. Since then I've been awakened about that time every morning - twice by an audible voice calling my name out of a deep sleep! It's been a life-changing experience.
And yet, I'm human, and occasionally I feel really tired. I thought He would remove my fatigue as I spent time with him. Isn't that what He's promised in Isaiah? "They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength." (Is. 40:31) Often that happened, but other times I found myself so tired I wanted to take a nap later in the day. At first I questioned whether it was okay for me to nap or whether it was showing a lack of faith. But then He pointed out to me that even Jesus napped. That's what He was doing in that little boat when the storm came that frightened his disciples so badly!
At any rate, a few days ago I found myself really struggling to get out of bed to meet my appointment, and questioning whether it really WAS God that had told me to start getting up at that hour or whether I had just imagined it. I'm not proud of the way I was doubting Him, but it's the unfortunate truth. As I talked with Him about it that morning, I asked that He show me clearly the next morning. If He truly wanted me getting up at that hour, please awaken me as usual. If not, please make sure I stayed asleep.
Well, the next morning, I was awakened at 4 am as usual - brimming with energy and eager to meet with God. I felt I had a clear answer to my prayers from the day before. But God is so gracious! Instead of being chastised for my doubt the previous day, He gave me added confirmation! I was re-reading Psalms 107 because the words "Oh that men would praise the Lord for His goodness and for His wonderful works to the children of men." were in my head. (They are repeated verbatim 4 times in this chapter.) As I read, I was praising God for His goodness to me in making His will for me clear. I found myself continuing on into the next chapter when these words jumped out at me "I will praise, I will sing praises even with my soul. Awake harp and lyre. I will awaken the dawn." (Ps 108:1,2 NASB) I will awaken the dawn! Here was ADDED confirmation that I was doing the right thing by getting up before dawn! He didn't need to give this additional confirmation to me. I had already gotten His message clearly. But He is so kind and loving that He chose to make His will VERY clear!!!
What an amazing God we serve! How gracious and patient with us!
Father, thank you so much for the love you bestow on us each and every day. Thank you for the way you so gently lead! I am so grateful! You are such an amazing God! I love you, Father.
